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On The Free Line

Beaten up radio,
slur from the A.M stations.
You rise up. Touch my cheek.
How amazing it is,
to feel that soft, slow motion across my face




Author notes

I have been pushing out poems all day. I gave it go on this one. DOnt espect to see it here too much longer.

The end bugs the hell out of me. Too much irony. I will change it later.


Changed the ending
Written March 31st, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • ken77
    April 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Don't delete it. I think its just perfect. Short and very good.

    ken


  • xstarvingartist
    April 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah Dara, this is pretty good..I like it because it's better than all of mine, i hope?


  • Mick Lane
    April 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    hey, i liked this one. it's cool, don't delete it. great write, keep it up

  • Arienette
    April 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Katilin, I wont delete this one, just for you.


  • everydaysunday
    April 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Dara, you are never happy with your poetry, are you? You write it, then delete it. I love the way each of your pieces flows so beautifuly. The ending is fine, but I have a feeling, you're going to either erase it or change it. Don't despair I like it.
    ♥ Eve

1 - 5 of 5