I fly away from a future I hardly know
Trying to hide but there’s nowhere to go
Not sure what to do but I know what is right
Should I keep running or should I fight?
As time slips away, need to take a break
The fight, it goes on, makes your head shake
Run away before the fight gets too rough
Unless you think that you’re something tough!
Run away!
Can’t escape it
Goes too fast
Can’t remake it
Left in the past
Hopes of yesterday
Future lies
A new life finds its way
As somebody dies
Celebrations are held
Too far in advance
If you run from the fight
Victory has no chance!
[repeat verse 1 and 2]
Can’t escape it
Can’t remake it
Yesterday’s hopes collapse as they die!
[repeat set of 2 liners, followed by previous stanza]
Can’t run from your past
Old scars always mend
The future lies in wait
‘til you reach the end!
Time won’t bend…
Author notes
Here it is folks. I wrote this song for my story a long time ago, but I recently looked it over and went UGH. So, I've changed some MAJOR things and I'm much more pleased with it now. Tell me waht you all think. *sigh* I coulda done better but still, opinions are wanted! ^^; -Danteku
Written March 30th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
very clever ummm well i get my ideas from my head something must insire me not many things do that to me but i think i got an idea from your poem it takes me a wile so we shall see wont we. he he he you know i wish i could ryme in every line for my poem and i tend to speek my mind i think and write i can write pages and pages of things but when it comes to poetry i cant write much my poems arnt that long i cand really ryme but i still speek my mind most of my poems are not that great but what do you exspect from a 13 year old. when ever you get the chance cheak out some of my poetry feel free to say things besides good and stuff try and help me out a little with my poetry so i can write better next time i always seam to i get better and better with each write and each year passing by its amazing how life goes by quickly keep writing ok c ya!
dont forget to comment on my poetry ill appreatiate it! bye!
-
Eh hehe... well thank you. I'm glad it came out decent at least ^^;
-
Lyrically wonderful, fantatic way to show you can't hide from time...thats scary! ;o
the repition adds meaning too usually repition is just like blah but not this
"I fly away from a future I hardly know
Trying to hide but there’s nowhere to go
Not sure what to do but I know what is right
Should I keep running or should I fight?
As time slips away, need to take a break
The fight, it goes on, makes your head shake
Run away before the fight gets too rough
Unless you think that you’re something tough!"
great!
~sunrise777~
-
Glad you read my Author's Comments, to get the full idea of this ^^; Read other works to see how I've improved since my older stuff
-
It's very clever, and a very great job. I'm glad you got around to reworking this (as stated in the comments), because it is most certainly wonderful.
-
well i thought it was good a song can hit many people differently and this one stuck
so im adding you to my fav.s 
-
Myar... read the other comments is all heh. This is my old piece but I reworked it somewhat... so uh, yeah... heh
-
very well done!! keep it up
-
Aw geesh... well if you say so. My other work I feel more proud of... this, as stated in title and author comments, was an old work from 4 years ago when I was 16 and naive... I reworked it over to make it better but I coulda done better. But thank you, I put my heart into it as I do with every piece
-
very clever write, very well done. I rather enjoyed this read, you have done a brilliant piece and you have done yourself some real justice with this write.
Keep up the great work. pat on the back
Til
-
Well as I say in the Author Comments, this was one of my old pieces which I reworked but it's still not perfect. I'm not very proud of it, more proud of the fact that I was able to take it from being total crap to somewhat better, to be honest with you
-
The rhyme seems a little forced..good message though.
-
Not sure what the style of music for it is just yet... it keeps changing for me
-
Hmmm very nice. It definitely gives you a running sort of feel rhythm-wise. And I loved the "Can’t escape it
Goes too fast
Can’t remake it
Left in the past"
But then this part: "Hopes of yesterday
Future lies
A new life finds its way
As somebody dies" Sounded very awkward.... but maybe that's just me *shrug* Good anyways. So what style of music are the lyrics supposed to go with? I've been curious. -
DAN! you rock. ok? what more can i say? you are such a great writer. I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU IN FOREVER!
xoxo
-apprentice -
Great
This is an interesting view of ones self and how the feel.
Great job!! -
Yet another blast from the past, BUT, about 70% of it has been reworded and redone. So it's actually new in a sense. My old original was awful actually... I just used random words to make rhymes and it made no sense... so I fixed it ^_^;
-
You have captured a soul in turmoil within these lines hun, is this the new positive you - or another blast from the past??
Diz
-
Are you in a band? CUZ THIS IS TH EBEST I'VE READ ALL DAY! I ecspetally like the repitiion Hopes of yesterday
Future lies
A new life finds its way
As somebody dies
Good job very good job keep it up!
~KRIS
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
3 old applause
