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Another rant...

I’m not worthless
I’m not irresponsible
I’m not, I know I’m not
I’m not hateful
I’m not shit
I’m not attention seeking
I’m sorry that’s what you think
I wish it wasn’t
Because, Mom, I do love you
But you don’t love me
I’m not worthless
Or, maybe I am
Maybe my fat ass is too lazy
To be worth jack shit
I’m not irresponsible
Or maybe I am
Maybe taking care of the kids all the time
Is irresponsible
Maybe I am hateful
Just because I love you so much
That I hate you
Maybe this ugly human is shit
Because I can’t get a date
Or get the good grades
I am an attention seeker
That’s why I hide in my room
That’s why I stay out of your way
Because I want your attention
I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up
I wish I could be like my brother
The perfect child
Good grades, good dates, good friends
I wish I could be like him
But I’m not
I wish I could be like my fuck up sister
So that you would talk to me for once
I wish I could be whatever it is
You just want me to be
But I fucking can’t
I am worthless
I am irresponsible
I am hateful
I am shit
I am sorry that’s how I am

Author notes

I love my mom, she makes me feel so good about myself
Written March 29th, 2005

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Comments


  • Unholy Water
    March 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Kate, I'm sorry this shit is goin' on. Tell ya what, I'm come down there some day, and you and I can get away from both our parents. We can move to New Hampshire, and have everything be perfect. Listen, okay, you keep aiming for your dreams, because writing is a career, I mean, how else would Stephen King have that really nice house? And Your music, is NOT shit, I like it, it's a helluva lot better than mine. You know my number if you ever need to talk

    ~Zave

  • Suicide Girl 169
    March 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    aw Kate, i'm so sorry. I know how you feel hunny. i'm always here if you need me. send me an IM any time. love you hunny.
    ~Alex
    P.S. this was an amazing poem. it gets clappy hands.


  • NotMyShadeOfGray
    March 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    omg, sweetheart i'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your mom. my mom isn't very fond of me at the moment either so i know how you feel. but if you need to talk i'm here.
    ~Arachne