superficial lies
pour from your melancholy eyes...
"How could you?"
mouthed and drowned
under these turbulent skies...
now even the silence
can be heard
un-re-mis-understood
your actions fall questionably
on my thoughts
and now i realize
you're gone.
lost...
and I'll never have the you
i once knew
the rain
the thunder
the flashes of lightening
it all crashes
between
'us'
In your eyes what we once had
blinks away.
I sink and sway - but still can't say
"come back"
the minutes fall like hours
the space is infinite
we have a moment
but now I'll never reach you...
I stand before your false and crowding stares...
I'm so incredibly alone.
Author notes
tell me what you think
Written March 29th, 2005
A contest entry
- Emotion by KissMyEyes.
400 points, ended June 24, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me ur best!! by ProudMomma.
526 points, ended October 17, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
wow so much emotion i love this. I get a rush of so much feelings here... i love how in poetry you can interpret ur own meaning with not even knowing the authors great write!! keep on penning
-
I tend to shy away from this topic in poetry, but only because most of it tends to be drivel-not to mention depressing. This is a major exception to that rule. This is one of the very few I've read that is beautifully penned. Intelligent word choice and imagery that is original and refreshingly free of cliche. It doesn't droop or bore the reader, and the heartwrenching feelings shine throughout. I appreciate a good poem, no matter the topic, and this is a VERY good poem. Nicely done
x
-
great
i think it's really really good...your a very talented writer...you write with such passion...keep writing... -
I think it's great that a person can come across truely great poetry on this site. I'm glad you featured this peom because I enjoyed reading it thoroughly. I love all your imagery. keep up the good work.
-
Your choice of words was fantastic. You showed your sadness in the loss of the loved one, never being the same, with a passion! I loved it! Great job! If you have ever lost a pet...you can feel free to enter my contest!
-Ari
-
great
This was beautiful, so much passion in your choice of words and use in your sentence flow. I love how you paint a picture of the depth that is felt in the outcry of pain....I like how you placed your lines, keeps you looking for more to come, thinking it will continue for awhile....enjoyed the read...good job. -
wow this is very good! i read it and it left me speechless! well neways great write. keep it up
~!~kelbug91~!~ -
first off let me say: this poem is amazing, wonderful, and soooo well written!! it just flowed so well and it was so metaphorical (is that a word?) and every part about it was just .. i dunno, i don't think i have quite the words to describe this! i loved the spacing between the words and between the lines, it really made the poem more enjoyable to read. my favorite part was:
it all crashes
between
'us'
well excellent job!
-Kaitlin -
Amazing!
This is a great style of writing I loved the feeling in this it really spoke to me. Very refreshing.
Kudos, Chris -
i know i already commented on this, and loved it, but you haven't posted in a while! you should! i miss reading. later!
-
great job
woah... left me kinda speechless, you have a unique style of writing, very refreshing. it seems very..sad, losing someone is terrible, but i love your work very expressive, keep it up. *CN*
-
i thinkkk.. i liked this..it took me two reads to get it, but i got it, pretty sure its about you being..amazed at how someone you thought you knew turned out to be completely different, and that makes this poem really sad..lives up to the melancholy reference in the second line, favorite part was I sink and sway - but still can't say
"come back"
..love that..nice write, it really did a good job of making me feel alone and sad like the person in the poem. awesome job.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
6 old applause
