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Contradiction

You build me up
Then you tear me down

You make me smile
Then you make me frown

You tell me I'm beautiful
Then you make me feel ugly

You're actions are a contradiction
Do you even really love me?

You tell me you'll be right back
Then you don't come home

You say you'll never leave
Then why am I alone?

Author notes

I am not sure if I am finished with this or not, I feel like it needs more.  I really like it so far, and I hope you do too.  Please let me know what you think.
Written March 27th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Jessy17
    March 29, 2005
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    wow this is very good.......it sounds whole to me.......i like it a lot....i understand wut u r talking about too.....i have had this happen to me before and i understand the pain u must be feeling.....i wish u the best of luck.......oh and i loved the poem

  • Beth Ann
    March 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I can understand where you'd say it might need more. I agree, that for THIS piece, it's done. But I think that you can take this piece and elaborate it some. But it's a wonderful piece, and it could also be a wonderful start. I hope things get better for you.

  • Fridazechild56
    March 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Jessy, You've expressed yourself so well in this. This says exactly what is going on. You put so much emotion into your work. You're better than I could ever hope to be. Great write, Punky.


  • brokenpoet
    March 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    awww this is sooo sad I sorries that this is happening to you, or someone you know!
    If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here!

    As for the poem part,
    wow...I LOVE the ending and the whole thing to be honest!

    Melissa


  • sgloveslevi
    March 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    great

    Wether you are finished or not .I think its a great poemIt expresses a lot of emotion


  • rock goddess
    March 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    no - it is complete somtimes few words are best. i noticed an error though - in the 2nd line - the word tare - is suposed to be spelled tear (same way as if you were to say you were crying)

1 - 6 of 6