teddy from when i was 5 (he smiles at me and i miss him), broken milk bottles that made miss lawson so very mad, empty space convoluting and trying to be something important (too much of that in here), never crying over spilled milk, life can be so unfair, my mother smiling (such a nice smile with one crooked tooth), warmth and coldness side by side holding hands, a porn collection (ahhhh page 57 Debbie Debbie Debbie and then dad walked in), stylish hair cut in high school, car tires on the side of the road wondering if someone died in that crash, tying my shoes (and the rabbit goes around the tree and into the hole), and geez my lost virginity with a bad decision behind the shed (because dirt shouldnt go in there), rocks on the bottom of the lake and trying to grab them if only i could hold my breath that long, mrs diemer (everyone rememebers THAT teacher), puking after football practice because of running and that fifth of jim beam that looked so good last night, ruined shorts (damn dog) that i got in trouble for, stained sheets (damn Debbie) that i got in trouble for, missing pieces, broken dreams, outlasted fires and drunken dolls, piercings that hurt more than everyone said they would, experiences with "chemicals" that felt better than everyone said they would, the gravestone with the chip in it that marks where i can visit mom and dad, a flag flying, a cigarette burning, gears turning, sparks flying, skeletons, regrets, hurts, a one year relationship which is still the best i ever had, teddy from when i was 5 (he smiles at me and i miss him)
Author notes
Poems I commented on in this contest: Random Words and Desk
Written March 28th, 2005
A contest entry
- write a poem, enter kat cobain's contest, feed the cat, etc. by Katrina Armour.
300 points, ended April 1, 2005, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This IS bizzare; stream-of
conciousness writing at allpoetry? My Good Lord.conciousness; and making a very decent job of it too.
Well executed, using effective visual imagery and trimming down on excessive description. The memories are both univseral, accessible and personalised (loved Debbie). Well, nice to see a writer having a crack at stream-of
Edited on Dec 09, 8:09 p.m. because ''. -
One of the few poems that I actually don't mind being written in a big paragraph. It helps show your flow of thoughts and emotions.
I really like the different scenes from your past (isn't it strange what we remember most?) and the repetition of the first line at the end.
The whole thing flows very well and fits the title perfectly. All in all, I love it.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
~*~Kat C~*~ -
I don't know what the contest is all about, but I like this honest stream of notables. It was fun reading. It sort of builds on itself.
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I really enjoyed this, the progression and the way you wrap it around to the Beginning again at the end. You did a good job of making me see you. thanks.
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