The sonnet below is a little experimental and, as a challenge to the readers, see if you can find that thing that makes this fairly unique. IM me with you thoughts (don't put them in a comment please) and I will give 25 points to the first 10 people who figure out the "mystery". Have fun!
Correct Answers:
Torn Chakra
DrDoloreus
Malz
Smoochiegirl
Diamond2007
Old Doc Wit
heartnsoul
Please speak to me of all the things I’ve known,
That I now find to be so strange for her.
My hope for love from one who I have shown
The things of which my heart could not be sure.
And she with voice that warmed me as she’d speak,
To tell me of the joys that filled her heart,
Has now run off and left me tired and weak,
This fool who thought that he would be a part
Of all she is and all that she could be.
But now this dream who came to my bleak life
Is gone, and that has taught me how to see
That she was not the one to be my wife.
At last she’s gone – I miss her touch each day,
It’s for the best and I’m now on my way.
Author notes
Have fun.
Written March 27th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
This is getting me nuts!!!!!!! I will perservere though.
-
i love this Paul..made me sniffle a lil...i'm sure you know where my train of thought went when i read this one...i love the emotion in it...i'm not familiar with forms so i'm not even gonna guess..lol...hope your having a good, safe time...God Bless
tyler -
Wonderful sonnet.I hope this was in the past as I do about any loss poems.I found this well ecpressed.Didn't catch the puzzle with a quick check.All pentameter rhyme is consistent ???Good write.Rob
-
WOW... This is an awesome poem... I have no idea what to guess but I could ask jess... I won't try to guess if I do that though... This is a very awesome sonnet!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Well, you have stumped me for sure and I cannot see how this strays from the sonnet form. I have checked meter, rhyme scheme, enjambs, and even syllable counts. I will be glad to see the answer posted when all ten have guessed it. I enjoyed the reading though....all those many times.
but it is beyond me.... 
-
This is a wonderful sonnet, I enjoyed it very much. If there's a mystery here, it's beyond my ken, and I'm not going to speculate. Excellent heartbreak sonnet though.
-
moving
This is truly beautiful. So heartfelt and filled with emotion. So heartbreakingly beautiful. And yet it flows off the tongue like the gentle waters of a brook on a lazy summer day. This may not be the feelings you intended to invoke. But this is the feelings I get when I read.
~Michelle~
-
hmmmmm grrrrr I think I am to tired to figure this out, I don't know, I think I figured something out but I'm not sure, I know the form pretty well and well.... I don't know, I'm comeing back to this tomorrow. It is a beautiful poem. I love sonnets now that I can write them. Anyways great write and I will be back, to figure this out lol. Even if I'm not one of the first ten, I have to figure this out grrr. lol Great write!
-
Hey
Being stubborn gets me places hum? I must agree with the three before me, this is a great poem, so heartfelt and just amazing. Another one of your amazingly written poems here grampa. You never let me down, I dont know why its so surprising but whenever I read your poems Im blown away, I should be used to them by now. Great job here grampa..
Malzy -
Well, I'm pretty much stumped, but then I'm not really familiar with forms. If it has anything to do with that, I'll pass.
This is very sad, though. I'm ruling out anything inanimate. Umm, good luck with those who have guessed. Hugs, Patricia -
Bullseye. To start with, I love form poetry; with the sonnet being in the top five of favorites. Truly, the poem hit home. Recently this train ran into me and the girl that I was seeing.
Now for the technical aspects, I'll have to skid what the mystery is. However, it is strong throughout, with the only negative being the wife and life rhyme. It's impossible to get an immobile rhyme for either though, so it's acceptable.
-
Daddy, this was great! I loved it! And I'm pretty sure that I got the unique part of it right, but if not, oh well. I still tried. Anyways, great job with this and I'm really hoping you aren't writing of Kathy; this doesn't seem to fit the relationship I've gathered you two have.
Jess
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
6 old applause
