white catkin branches
sway beneath the light gray sky
rain drips from rooftops
each wind-burst fills the air
with flurries of dancing petals
Author notes
wheeeheeeeheeee!
Written March 27th, 2005
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FD: this one's a tanka.
tanka for your thoughts.
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Beautiful imagery. I can imagine it perfectly...Nicely done. Would this be called a haiku, tanka or senryu? I don't know the difference, actually..
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very subtle
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Oh that is very light hearted and peaceful. I sence such a sureal world that you are speaking of. I could imagine myself laying under the tree, watching the tiny petals fall about. I could even be there having a casual converstation about yesterday with a friend. See that is why I love poetry. You can read it and have a totally different feeling or thought. I think this is awesome. Pen on
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The subject matter is fab, that goes without saying, but this is supposed to be a tanka, no? Your last couplet has 6 syllables for its first line and eight for the second. What if you moved the word "with" up.
"each wind-burst fills the air with
flurries of dancing petals"
Don't know. I'm not a master of form. For all I know you could be trying out how to tweak a tanka. LOL. Nevertheless... I tnink you've written a beatiful piece here and the title.... perfect; as alwayss. I had to go look up 'niveous' of course.
Maab
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Wonderful whimsical write.
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i like this. its like nothing i have read before but is amazing. well done.x
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Sounds practical and sweet too
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i wouldn't be too confused. lol
birds can fly in the rain; why not cherry blossoms? besides, the wind was pretty strong. there are little cherry blossom petals plastered against my window like paper mache, and i'm on the second story across the road from the tree. i could see the petals spinning so fast as they were winged this way and that by the wind that i imagine rain drops that hit the petals might just tip the petal sideways for the briefest of moments, sending the spenning petal on a new trajectory, but not hindering in any way its progress through the air. -
This is absolutely lovely.
Red -
more give me more !
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What's the 'wheeeheeeeheeee!' for??
Beautiful, calm and serene...great work! Rain dripping from roof tops is an excellent image but what confused a little was, 'how were the petals dancing if it was raining'? Due to the wind, yes, but wouldn't their movements be restricted by the weight of the drops?
Anyway, a fabulous tanka.
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You have either a white birch or possibly an oak tree somewhere nearby the cherry tree and it has presented you with a wonderous scene as the wind and rain make it appear to be snowing and raining at the same time. Such a delightful picture you have painted here. Well done and done well, my friend.
Del -
i feel like i'm dancing in this picture, across a beautiful series of gentle images. you did a wonderful job here. thank you so much for sharing. love, robin
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