The feeling is liquid like the red of blood oranges,
and I can’t explain it because I can’t wrap my mind around it
but it's never an accidental fascination,
the one that causes me to shake,
and it’s so intoxicating, like the crush of tangerine
that bursts between our lips,
And it’s an orange explosion of wings from my stomach
out through your back as my eyes follow you across the
floor and I can do nothing to break the gaze that traces you
so I step, step, step away,
backing up and trying to fend off
the feelings that keep
coming back for more
feelings that have
taken root like green vines in blue vein form
at the base of my heart's walls,
suffocating me but providing oxygen,
life through red blood cells and touch, that rushes to
explode on top of
lips that blush with the anticipated kiss
and unexpected crush of lips,
that makes me dizzy from the burst in it.
And that dizzy is the kind of dizzy that floods
my head till I can’t think straight without
seeing double and its
the kind of dizzy that saturates the space after
blood is drained from veins, and
the kind of dizzy that creeps over my eyes in dark fingertips
when I stand up too fast,
the kind of dizzy that explodes across skin, taking dizzy
to a whole new, soul consuming level that happens only
with you!
and with you, touch causes
the orange wings of butterflies in my stomach to
crash in a frenzied flurry of static stress,
till they drop from shock and
when I suck in air to revive those bright fallen wings,
the oxygen bites hard against my throat,
and pulls you in close, till
it’s just that final breath between you and I,
that final thin line that marks the stretch of just how
close I’ll come before you, too, step away,
and just how quick that single breathe could bring
you that much closer, and I'm so tempted to
step and fill the space myself but I have resist
because what happens if I let it happen, that one
bittersweet kiss?
I'll fall, completely head over heels, for you
In fact, it's already happened
Author notes
Ok. I edited my strange Olga story, and just wrote what she said. This is written directly to SmoochieGirl. I hope it fits the criteria a little bit better
Written March 27th, 2005
A contest entry
- Looking For An AP Husband (contest..men only) by Midnight Lace.
300 points, ended March 29, 2005, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wonderfully desciptive write...good physical descriptions as well. Funny how powerful those connections are.
Red -
Oh I liked this one.. Catressa
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wings meaning butterflies. Being scared to approach. Does that make sense?
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This line had me a little more freaked out than moved, and ultimately prevented me from enjoying the work more:
"And it’s an orange explosion of wings from my stomach
out through your back as my eyes follow you across the"
exploding stomachs and wings and oranges out her back?
Vivid imagery .. just not imagery I can imagine using on a lady. Waitaminnit -- Yea I can! I once told a girl that I thought she had 'beautiful flapping eyelashes' ... LOL ...
..sounded better in my head. -
Well, everyone mentioned how it didn't really fit the contest. So i figured i'd make it so it did. I still have the old one, it's on my author page, just not involved in this contest.
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I am really craving a fruit salad all of a sudden.
I like this. The imagery is so vivid that this is truly a piece you can feel, smell and taste. I think you did an awesome job! I liked it the first way too, but I have to admit... I like the edited version even better. Good luck in the contest.
♥ Kimberly -
Thought I'd read that....lol was part of the last one yes? It's great. Reminds me of the unrequited love I battle with every day xxxx
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THis was good. I understand the dizzy part; that's just her odor; it's a little rank at times! LOL! Just kidding. There was so mcuh love in this; it really caught me by surprised; it was sappy enough, but not that sappy. Great job!
Jess -
Awwww. This is so sweet. I make you dizzy Yayaya..Hehehe. Sowwy
This is so sweet. I like it a lot. So much love in it. AndI like that I can make you fall head over heels with just one kiss. hehehe Good luck in the contest
♥Christina
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