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I hope you have dark hair
Like my mother,
A touch Irish with a clover.
I would play you my gypsy violin
Through November
Dipping you back into stars
And perfect wild skies.
You would never grow tired of me
Child, I am the poet
A devil and an angel
Ask anyone, they know it
They will warn you of my voice
And the songs God had me sing
When I wore these horns with pride...
Before I lost the wings.
I pray you are a healer
And do not mind
When I toss and turn,
and scream through-out the night
I am honest, and not afraid
To give a woman magic words
Of secrets long betrayed,
But not how things should stay.
I am music, so you'd move quick
With me through town and state
A different setting everyday
From gold to silver plate
But money and fame we'd know
We're ducks just in a row
A great way to get slow,
But like I said, we'd know.
I would drape you with
Ancient stones and whispers
Paint your toe-nails like the night
Bet your ass I am a bastard
Mother's right to say I bite,
but I'm real, and I'm brave
And I'm no-body's slave
but your's -- If you'll have me.
listen
iacmusic.com/songs.aspx?SongID=25143&ArtistID=9993
Author notes
Written March 25th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 68 of 68
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Intriguing!
This was a very artistically beguiling piece.
You have the true heart of an artist/actor.
The many dimensions of your personality peered
through every line. The raw straight forward
honesty in this poem keeps it pure and refreshing.
As a man I would have to say I was very impressed
with your style. Love it or hate it, you definately
have a way. Keep up the great work. The ladies are
watching!
Edited on Jul 22, 3:46 p.m. because ''. -
This is fantastic. I loved every bit of it. Tells a story of love and has a lot of strength and honesty in it.
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I love it! This is too awsome. nice job, dude! I'm not good at critiqe (or however it's spelled) so all's I can say is: awsome
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yeah, man. it's been a while, how are you. still enjoying your music... still will get around to those reviews... ugh im so slow.
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Surreal charm and the most envisaged thoughts were highlighted.
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i liked the whole impish image created here. Almost mythical meets reality. Well done
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WOW!! Wonderful poem AND song. It's beautiful being sung. No matter how many times I heard it, it would still be wonderful and pretty. It's very unique, I must say. All the lines catch a person and have it's own meaning to it. Good form and great presence. I applaud. Job well done!!
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This is a beautiful write and a much enjoyed write, you captured such beautiful images through your words.
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Extraordinary read I must say. I like the form and Presence of it. Very well said I liked that line-I would play you my gypsy violin Through November-it catches a person. RobinRae.
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You get soft on them, huh? LOL
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Wow a definately beautiful poem and song. I especially love hearing it sung. It's really... I think if I heard it continuously then I would still love it...
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You make evil sound tempting. Loved some of the images, especially the part about draping you with ancient stones and whispers. I'm not sure about that second to last stanza though, the 4 last lines with the "o" rhyme somehow don't seem to fit with the rest of this piece. Still enjoyed it quite a bit overall.
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Definetly an awsome poem... my favorite lines having to be
Dipping you back into stars
And perfect wild skies.
Freakin glorious my friend... I'll have to read more of your work later... Mwah! Hugs-n-Kisses
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You know what . . . this was incredible! It was sooooooooo full . . . and complete! I salute this effort . . . for it is one of the best I have seen on this site so far! Keep penning . . . and keep sharing!
Happi Valentine's Day!
Maggie
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Dark and direct, but a declaration of true love. The self-bad-mouthing comes across as honesty. Thanks for sharing this one - much appreciated.
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beautiful
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Thank you for taking the time to enter this in the contest. It is very well written and involves so much description about the subject. You appear to have a nice following as well so I have no doubt you are very talented. Thanks again and good luck.
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loved this.rock n roll love all the way!i adored the toenail thing,very cute.hmmm,what would shakespeare say?bet he'd just go buy your cds.hehe.
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rather like the image this poem took on the modern day shakespeare. seemed as though it was a realistic piece and it certainly was well written. the ending has a perfect ending to fit an impish / devilish personality through words.
nice. -
WOW...catches breath...THIS IS A FABULOUS PIECE!!! your girlfriend is such a lucky GAL!!!
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I think it is safe to say that you are going to win some sort of placing with this one! Everything about this was great. The way you presented your message, the way you worked your words- all of it was fantastic.
"I would drape you with
Ancient stones and whispers
Paint your toe-nails like the night
Bet your ass I am a
Mother's right to say I bite,
but I'm real, and I'm brave
And I'm no-body's slave
but your's -- If you'll have me."
That stanza has to be one of the best that I have read all week. Truly.
Justin -
'Def Leopard', my Wild Friend??? Ya surprised me with that one!!! roflmao 
Cool!!! hehehe 
Yes, horus8, this is still a marvelous poem...well done, indeed...& love the comments...'specially yours...LOL
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this is a really good piece !! you seem to have alot of support and it seems to be a very popular piece and i can see why ! thankyou very much for entering the contest that i've been hosting !! cheers !! Nice work !!
luv Jordan x -
Well if you go to contemporary list and personal list on my author page, you'll probably find something worth beating the elderly for.
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Ah damn, Horus -- I thought this was a new piece. I already sang my praises for its brilliance, and am happy to do so again here. This fine work was excellent when I first read it, and it is excellent now that I read it again. Nonetheless, I am sure you can appreciate that given your talent, I was hoping to read something new -- every piece from you is, after all, typically a gem. Anyway, this should be a major contender in the new contest in which it is entered.
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I was getting scared....I just knew someone had stolen your name. First, I find a sweet message on my author page and then this! I was about to call the AP911 until you admited you bite and are still a b...well, you know what you said.
You know I adore your writings and your stinging quips now and then. I've also been listening to some of your music.
Take care...luck and all.
~~~POO~~~ -
Damn horus! You can be nice when you want - this will come as a shock to so many! Glad you kept the bite at the end, though - it would have been disingenuous, otherwise.
Scott -
Very nice poem Mr. Horus--I really enjoyed it alot. ^^ Your friend you were talking about probably loves it alot! ^^ I'm not really the mushy type, but hey, this is good quality work.
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and you complain when I don't give comments this long---and you call that rambling!
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Davids comment has me cracking up.. ha.. This was so much more than your words say Horus.. I loved it.. Take Care, Catressa
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0-0 .....
Holy crap!! ~blushes~
I think I'm in love! LMAO
My god! I came in here to peek around. I confess, I know nothing of these family goings on here... ~is a bit speechless~ But to see you as entered in.. I couldn't believe it. So I thought 'Someone must be impersonating him. How crass!' I came in, and... uh yeah.. definetely you. Even if the catergory didn't fit. Wow.. just beautiful. I loved it. I agree with the other one that said these lines:
~~I would play you my gypsy violin
Through November
Dipping you back into stars
And perfect wild skies.~~
..were the deal breaker. They most certainly were. Just utterly romantic.
Anywho... You've probably already stopped reading, I tend to ramble on.
Edited on Mar 30, 11:07 because ''. -
1 and 1/2 thumbs up (woulda been two, but I f
very nice work ... you've got some pretty strong votes of support behind ya too. Good luck in the contest.
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I sell out like christmas lights.
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If she doesn’t want you, can I have you? I loved this. “Dipping you back into stars and perfect wild skies.” I think you may have kept me entranced after a line like that. This is just a great bit of writing and I see you have now edged ahead in the trophy count – WHORE!!! – I wish you every success in pulling further ahead of me, you unnaturally talented bastard.
David
PS I also wish for world peace
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This sounds very open and honest, which is the best way to approach both love and marriage. Good luck in pulling the strings of her heart or, at least, in the contest.
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From the comments, people are surprised at the touch of romance you harbor under the lust. That first verse is an awesome hook into the poem. The honesty makes it real. Very nice write!
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Great poem! I really enjoyed it! Good luck in the contest.
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Nothing personal...this poem just really feels forced, which is rather unusual for you. The last couple of stanzas seem to drag quite a bit. Just my opinion...of course it differs greatly from everyone else's. Later.
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No, but I have a long thick tongue and a maid.
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ahahaha...loualoui wants to marry you...who wouldnt?! what if you DO win this contest? would you start dating her? oooohhh...AP daters oooohh...i like this poem...i read some of the comments, do u have 'tough' and funny kinda poems? well thats just a random question
take care
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aww that was really sweet i liked it alot you should write more like this <3
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hahahaha i agree wi loualoi! theres a mysterious rugged side to the guy in the poem....a real charmer!
awesome write xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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great job
Great write. I have to applaud you even though I'm running out of points.
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Damn! If she doesn't want you, I'll marry you!
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'I would play you my gypsy violin
Through November
Dipping you back into stars
And perfect wild skies.'
I dunno about anyone else, but those lines would cinch the deal in my eyes!!! Yeah, I can handle a bastard alright, but a bastard that plays a gypsy violin?!? I could forgive such a Soul most anything, I think...hehehe A brave venture, Scribe...I salute you!!! Wanda
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Ok Horus...I'll be honest with you. I was expecting something hilarious, since it was YOU writing it. So here I am, speechless (well..not quite)
I had no idea you could write like this when you weren't letting your horns show. I have to say I was VERY impressed with this piece. A side of you I didn't know existed.
I found this piece poignant and profound; a contrast of smooth transitions and sharp edged frailties. I can't imagine this piece NOT winning the contest. I have to warn you though.....Smoochie doesn't JUST bite. She scratches, slaps, pinches and plays dirty EVERY chance she gets, so watch out if you win!
Edited on Mar 27, 12:40 because ''. -
OH Holy Hell -- am I reading the contest and the potential outcome correctly? This poem is entered to make you SmoochieGirl's AP Husband? And looking at her author page, based on your own comments and others on the contest page, I think that would make two Mods your IN-LAWS if you win?! ROFLMAO.
This poem is fantastic, and witty. Nice play on the "star" of Paradise Lost. I think if you win, and genuinely this poem is so well written it has to be a major contender, I might consider writing an homage called Horus8 and the In-Laws at Thanksgiving
Edited on Mar 26, 11:39 because ''. -
Jeremi --
You did such a great job with this write. I like to see the softer side more often
Take care Sweetie,
Criss -
My, my Jeremi! I fear I need my smelling salts. It
s a wonderful surprise for me to see this side of you. May I just say, I love it! As talented as you are, and as gruff as you are at times, it's reassurring to know you have this softer, romantic side as well. I'm so impressed. But you're used to that. If she turns you down.....
~~~POO~~~ -
This is amazingly beautiful .. and not "mushy", in my opinion, as Queen of Cups seems to think it is. A departure from what I am used to reading from you, definately, but I think you've managed to touch the romantic in all of us.
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this was amazing jeremi... very nicely done... and thus the contest should be over... beautiful
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Nice mushy write
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Oh yes...this is DEFINITELY a softer side of horus, eh? T'was lovely, kiddo...and would absolutely assure you'd get a LOT of positive responses in the wanted ads! It's even better than "WANTED: Ass bandit to hold up this caboose!" Sweet, romantic and utterly charming, I thoroughly enjoyed this enchanting moment of wooing...
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I love it...it's gorgeous and SO romantic...I do agree with...that one person, though, that it is unrealistic. But isn't it just lovely to think of love this way? Your poem is wonderful and the emotions are beautifully expressed...hope you win/won the contest!
--Ivy -
Well, Aunt Kim was only seven years older than me, and was practically my mom when my father was on coke binges, and
I was dropped off at my grandmother's so... It's kind of different
Aunt Leona was just kind of drunk, funny, and strict. But she
carried herself like a really brave and intelligent woman. So, they were very different, but I love equally the ant and my mother. If you gather my gist. -
Jeremi, another one that is very special, some great lines, leaves me smiling and glad you write things like this. I hope you like Aunt Leona almost as much as Aunt Kimberly - eh?
Nice.
becky -
Well hell, I tried to leave a comment and got the dreaded "white page"
I think I said, this is a write in shinning armor I love it when you get all sappy. You are just a cuddly teddy bear, and I like when you show it. Very nicely written horous, such a sweetheart you are. You came straight from that great big heart for our sweet Christina. The best to you in this, a cavalier challenge. Chivalry lives!
Renee ♥ -
ok..all right..! Perhaps there is a competition for us mortals as well..? We can write about hunting and football and Def Leopard... about kickin ass n' Lone Star beer..?
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Thank you, what a charming thing to say.
You're absolutely delightful. My name's Jeremi
by the way. I'm a 30 year old American poet
from Claremont California. I'm also an actor
and a musician. It was a delight making
your aquaintance Kimberly. Kimberly is
my favorite Aunt's name. It's a great name. -
Sigh I'm a sucker for romance and realism. This is very good. VERY good! Let's hope you set the precedence for this contest with such a great entry. MMMmmmeeeooowww!!
♥ Kimberly -
You would never grow tired of me
Child, I am the poet
A devil and an angel
Ask anyone, they know it
They will warn you of my voice
And the songs that God had me sing
When I wore these horns with pride...
Before I lost the wings.
This stanza really got me the most. I love the fact you incorporated the fact you could be a devil and an angel. When you wore those horns with pride, before you lost the wings. Truly amazing and touching. Awesome write. Take Care
--Shelly
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Very nice write. Feels honest and genuine.
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Well, I gotta admitt, this is pretty great. Very sweet and romantic and dream filled with a hint of danger. Nice job, especially considering how quickly this was put together.
Penny -
Okay, I've never been one to enjoy sappy love poems; I prefer more realistic love poems of the good with the bad. But that's my opinion. Since this isn't supposed to swoon me, I can't say if it worked or not, but if you hurt my sister bub, I'll hunt you down. And trust me I won't be alone.
Anyways, you and I will need to sit down sometime and talk about any record you may have, any ex wives i need to know about, any children; and that sort of thing. I'm just looking out for my sister, right? Right. Now that we understand each other, thanks for entering and remember, I'm watching you.
Jess -
Mother's right to say I bite,
but I'm real, and I'm brave
And I'm no-body's slave
but your's -- If you'll have me.
I love that. I love the whole peom, but I espeically love that -
I love this. Very sweet, I like the naughty - nice thing going on. I also especially like the last two lines. I'm not sure why, I just do.
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Awwww. I like this. This is very good. You left me breathless. This is a very sweet write Horus. I think you've out done yourself. Your going to make it tough. Good Luck My Knight and Shining Armor
♥Christina
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