There is soft grass beneath my feet,
dew seeping into my canvas moccasins.
But there is no path to discern;
there is no guiding star
to beckon to my feet.
I am alone.
I am a solitary traveler on a path with no limits,
on a path to the unknown,
to the unseen.
I sit, I wait, I rest.
I wait to see the signal flare;
the signal to guide me,
and the sound where no sound exists
But it is there,
there beneath my feet.
I feel it seeping into my mind,
into my soul,
this Guiding Star
that steers my path
at long last.
Author notes
Please comment with ruthlless gentleness. Thank you.
Written March 24th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Winners that Didn't Win/Poems that should have won, but didn't. by -thepoorepoet-.
400 points, ended August 22, 2005, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Sometimes it's easy...sometimes it's not...but it is the way to find peace and answers. God bless you my friend. - joanne
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I found myself yearning to know God more closely after reading this poem. Is it really that easy to move through life w/ faith in Him? I once had it, but I have lost it recently. Thank you for the beautiful poem. Good luck in the contest!
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Thank you Janet. I am leaving this as is. I had this poem critiqued at a writer's conference and was old it was trite and cliched. But I think it's one of those poems that can only be understood by another believer. He is our Guding Star - the only Path. Thank you again my friend. Love - joanne
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excellent
Joanne please do not touch this really delightful poem. You can always write a similar one. But dont mess with this is is perfect the way it is.
Hugs and Blessings
Jan -
this was a very lovely and beautiful poem, i really liked it a lot! keep up the good work, awesome write!!! ~julia~
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Thank you for your excellent critcism of the poem. I have to admit that I took a poem I had written a few years ago, changed a few images and words, and submitted it to the contest. I see now that it really is not a pure "imagist" poem because I failed to create the simplicity of the image - the lone traveler stopping in a meadow and finding inspiration from the setting. I will try to rework this though because I think I can make it happen the way I truly want it to. Thank you again.
-joanne -
As comments made above have said, and praised your poem; this is an inspirational piece. The image is of the seeker on the spiritual path who, at last, finds the guiding light, the star of faith.
As an imagist poem, it is rather vague and generalised:
'I am alone.
I am a solitary traveler on a path with no limits,
on a path to the unknown,
to the unseen.'
Although this quest is toward a noble goal, the poem is blurred and indefinite until that goal, the guiding light, is conceived toward the end of the verse. I think the poem is more an affirmation of patience on the spiritual path, of expectation of inspiration through being open to receive the light, to notice what is always there to guide one, by day or night, than a realisation of the way out of the darkness of ignorance. It comes to the same thing, although the latter theme would likely be expressed in more rigorous terms, the acclamation more exultant. Your poem is quiet and contemplative but the imagery is a little blurred and confusing. You begin with the dew seeping through to your feet and return to the same verb in the close. The blurring occurs where it is the guiding star which seeps into you from the ground, in the manner of water. It isnt that the earnest feeling is misunderstood, but the inspiration is generalised through reaching for the light, the path to liberation.
An imagist poem on this theme would be given over to radiance, would present clear and definite images of intimations of transcendence, as in 'Glory, Glory Hallelujah!'
Thanks for your entry.
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For truly the Lord does direct the footsteps of a righteous man. You penned this so beautifully and delicately. I just want to tiptoe around it so as not to disturb anything.♥~vj
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My Mother once told me about a story "The well worn path" I think I have another favorite writer.
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Wow, this is a beautiful poem - so peaceful and excellently written, I liked it a lot
Keep writing, this was a lovely poem, spiritual, true and beautiful- despite thinking faith should be allowed in schools etc I think the discouragement from Bible verse poetry etc has made this into an even better, and perhaps more spiritual write
Thanks for your comment on my poem and for adding me to your favourites
All the best,
Pozo
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This poem was originally written in a public school classroom. As the teacher I couldn't be too direct. But, Yes, it is definitely about how Jesus is the only way to get directed to our path and we have to wait on him for the path to guide our feet and then rest in His beautiful direction. Happy Resurrection Day!
love and hugs - joanne -
You're talking about the way God directs our path in life, are'nt you? This was a good poem full of peace and serenity. I wish the best of luck in the contest.
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