What's the fuss about Melanin?
It's just the pigment in our skin.
You're allright- with not enough-
Or condemed, with too much!
Not enough- the job is yours.
Too much- you scrub the floors.
Preppy little rich kid, that's- not enough-
Dirt poor athelete, that's- too much!
Not enough- Polo shirts and designer jeans.
Too much- Malcolm X hats and shorts past your knees.
People are people, Melanin or not!
Enough's, Enough!
TOO MUCH!
Author notes
option#8
bananas in pajamas
Written October 18th, 2002
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1 - 5 of 5
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Oh my god, I absolutly love this. You are so right. I love how you wrote - too much, and - not enough. I think that our society thinks of this WAY too much. And all that makes us different is how much melanin we each have. Congragultions on writing such an excellent poem.
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A nice statement in this that made a lot of sense. Shame ppl worry too much about keeping up with the look of others.
I think 'Melanin' made for an interesting repeating line in this one with 'not enough'. It's certainly an unusual choice in theme to state your topic. Still, the difference / unusual nature of that is more often a strength than not.
I did think the flow seemed pretty consistant in the first several verses, but then I got a bit lost in that about half way through. It just seemed as though you were keeping to six or seven syllables - then you increase the syllable count in your seventh verse to quite a few more. That's not bad. It just threw me off your rhyme a bit.
Overall, it's definitely a different approach and metaphor for your theme. I like this kind of write whereas a person is left with a perspective that I can respect and appreciate their poetry at the same time.
Kim -
Hmm i like it...instead of all the black and white stuff, you used melanin, thats cool...me really likey
Good luck in the contest
and thanks for entering
P.S thanks for all the wonderful comments on all my poems...its great to have someone to relate to...and you make me smile
Watch out for comments on urs...soon -
Hmm.. i thoubght it was clever that you used melanin but the actual poem wasnt anything spectacular. It was a good idea but i dint like how you said it. I know your point was that it doesnt matter which color of skin you had, but it was so stereotypical! Keep penning
Arielle
The One and Only -
i agree. just a pigment and a couple genes different. its all one race - human. good luck.
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