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Soaked

 

 


first autumn
flutters to the ground
in amber sighs

(my heart slips
from my hand)

a cypress stabs a hole
in pregnant clouds,

heaven breaks
in thousand shards bliss

the day hangs,
lucid and wet,
on an old washing line

(my soul brims
on my lips)

damp rises
from my roots,
my eyes soak completely

I will drown of this love
like the day
in its wet destiny

 

 

 

 







 

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1 - 99 of 102     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • ArtFullyMe silver member
    August 25, 2008

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    with autumn close here, and the days threatening to shorten ...this is a beautiful reminder of what is to come and why it is a season I adore...



    • Nicolette gold member
      August 25, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      wow, you've found such an old, old one - i've almot forgotten about this poem and still haven't edited it, lol. thanks, liza... i love autumn too - the season of leaf poetry...


  • PsydewaysTears gold member
    August 24, 2008

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    a forever favorite

    this one renews my spirits every time i reread it. I can only say that every single word of this poem takes me somewhere and I'm suddenly and strangely clarified vis a vis my surroundings and myself. If ever a poem could be, this one is heavy with life.

  • Rowan gold member
    February 6, 2007

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    "(my heart slips
    from my hand)"..and falls upon this page with so much beauty and sadness. This sooo good.
    This one touched me with the metaphor of weather and love; it's just white here; white sky white hoizon; I can't tell which ways up or down. It's been like this for days..sigh. I know how it affects me; something like this.
    Another stunning piece Nicolette.


    • Nicolette gold member
      February 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Kathleen. The weather does influence our mood, doesn't it? I can think that when all is white, one feels a little white too...here everything is just a bit too sunny, lol!


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    February 6, 2007
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    Oh some awesome images in this.... watch the use of "the" and "and"


    • Nicolette gold member
      February 6, 2007
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      Thank you for the HM, Carol. I'll definately watch the use of "the" and "and"now !


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 31, 2005
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    Thank you, spirited soul! This poem blends nature and love and longing..all in one! ~


  • Laura Joslyn
    July 31, 2005
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    your words blend nicely and create a nature picture. thanks for the entry.


  • amyanne
    July 21, 2005
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    wow this is very amazing work...i really liked the way that you used words. they blended together very beautifully

  • Nicolette gold member
    July 21, 2005
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    Thank you, Steve - I appreciate your kind words. Best wishes ~


  • sewasham gold member
    July 20, 2005
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    A very beautiful write filled with heartfelt emotion. Your word choices were extremely well thought out. Best of luck in the contest. Take care and Have fun. Steve


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 10, 2005
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    Thanks....I do appreciate contest hosts who make the effort to read and comment - so bravo to you!!

  • BrandNewColonyx3
    July 10, 2005
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    You are very very welcome, just happy you entered! always up for commenting on wonderful work!<33


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 10, 2005
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    Thanks, BrandNewColonyx3 for your kind and enthusiatic comment - much appreciated1 ~

  • BrandNewColonyx3
    July 10, 2005
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    powerful!

    oh wow! your choice of words was wonderfully done. This was beautiful! powerful write!thanks for entering and good luck! keep up the good work!<3

  • Nicolette gold member
    July 8, 2005
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    Thank you, Sonja for your kind comment - best wishes `


  • Sonja
    July 6, 2005
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    Perfect!

    Thank you for this nice poem. Nice pictured verses, and nice used picture above it.
    Good luck!

  • Nicolette gold member
    July 1, 2005
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    Thank you for your kind comment - best wishes! ~

  • Qu33n J3z3b3ll
    July 1, 2005
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    wow, this is so beautiful. thank so much for entering. i loved reading it.


  • Sadistic Lavender
    June 7, 2005
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    'a cypress stabs a hole
    in pregnant clouds'

    My eyes teared up. At first, I was going to scream at the begining of this comment - out of joy, happiness, but no - the rest of it just -soaked- me into a quiet awe. Oh. I can't critique this, are you kidding? It was beautiful, and ugh me, saying something to you? You don't need help with this piece. ♥


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 27, 2005
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    jen, thank you for a very kind comment. The applause is appreciated to! Be well ~


  • rendezvous
    May 27, 2005
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    Absolutley loved it! Your use of imagery is so simple and yet incredibly powerful. Kudos & my applause to you.
    Thanks for the entry.
    ~jen


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 3, 2005
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    Thank you, Virgoan for your very kind comment. I wrote this poem in the Imagist-style - word-economy and use of the exact word to describe the emotion or image. Take care ~

  • Virgoan
    May 3, 2005
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    This is great! This piece is overflowing with blissful images and wonderful metaphors. "A great piece depicting in and every person's self hidden in the realms of the reality of life."

    You manage to tell a feel good story with brevity at its finest. This made me wonder and...smile. I love this and I am looking forward inreading your future works.

    I wish you goodluck in the contest and thank you for joining.

    ---"I don't know what to say. Do read my mind." VIRGOAN---


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 2, 2005
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    Thank you, Sandi. I understand the Dutch quite well, but here and there I just have to guess too. Baie dankie!! ~


  • Sandi Alford gold member
    May 2, 2005
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    The seasons and nature add a lovely parallel to emotions of the heart, great metaphor!

    Dank U voor jouw schitterend commentaire op mijn gedicht! hehehe
    it was nice that someone understood the nederlands without reading the translation. I have read afrikaans a few times, although I need the dictionary for some of it.
    All the best in the contest Blessings, Sandi
    Edited on May 03, 1:38 because 'bad typo'.

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 30, 2005
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    Thank you, Leance - I appreciate your kind comment!


  • Leance
    April 30, 2005
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    This is exquisite........quite the imagery you have been able to capture........wonderfully expressed............good luck in the contest.............were pre-writes allowed........I had the perfect one if I had realized that.........
    Leance
    Edited on Apr 30, 1:05 p.m. because ''.

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 30, 2005
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    emma leigh, thank you very much for your kind comment - much appreciated!

  • emma leigh
    April 29, 2005
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    inspirational

    so touching and emotional! you really made your feeligns clear. the vivid language and details really made for a descriptive piece! your such a beautiful writer! keep up teh amazing work


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 28, 2005
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    Thank you, dear PlayfulPassion for your love and kindness, my lovely "daughter". After I've read your poem, I think I need that "good luck"!!

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 28, 2005
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    Thank you Mark, for the most lovely comment - take care~


  • HeavenonEarth
    April 28, 2005
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    As I ascend on the drifts of your dreamy write~
    I am just blessed with the beautiful love that showers us all in from the heart of beauty in you. You have such talent that we could all learn from. Again you leave me on the edge of the cosmo's with this. Much love & luck in this contest although you don't need it my dear. Just loved.."soaked in you"


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 26, 2005
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    Thank you, B. for your kind comment and the applause - much appreciated. Actually this poem was written in the "Imagist" style where you try to use the exact word(s) to describe something, but I guess it is kind of surrealistic too! ~


  • blinkbelle
    April 26, 2005
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    a really fluent poem that is written almost like a song? was that intended? anyways, a great write that flows really well.
    well done and good luck!
    B
    xxx

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 26, 2005
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    Thank you!!


  • forgot2b3forgotten
    April 24, 2005
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    this is a great write good luck


  • Utok Bulinaw
    April 24, 2005
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    Beautiful imagery Nicolette. And I like the metaphors you used. Great write! Cheers! Eris


  • Lost In My Thoughts
    April 23, 2005
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    You're welcome!

    Tiffany

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 17, 2005
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    Tiffany... - thank you very much!


  • Lost In My Thoughts
    April 17, 2005
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    WOAH! I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! Keep up the great work, Thank you for entering and Good Luck in the contest!

    Tiffany


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 12, 2005
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    The poem was written in a metaphorical style including imagery - showing and not telling. If you don't or can't understand that, I won't even bother to explain that. Thanks for your honest comment.

  • kandis107
    April 12, 2005
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    is everything in this poem specifically symbolic of things that only you could understand or where you just trying to sounnd poetic by using descriptive imagery. there is a big difference in the two.


  • jesseleighg
    April 12, 2005
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    MAybe I just dont get it - i like this poem and the personification and flow adds to it, but i just don't feel moved by it...I'll have the other half read it - shes better at getting stuff like this, but thank you so much for entering!


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 9, 2005
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    Thank you, Tumbleweed (I have a poem with the same title..) for your lovely comment!

  • Tumbleweed
    April 9, 2005
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    This is so fluid and serene. The imagery is original and beautiful. Great job and good luck.


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 1, 2005
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    Thank you, When all else fails, for reading and for your very nice comment. Glad your eyes enjoyed it!

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 1, 2005
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    Thank you, Buchan for your kind compliment - take care

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 1, 2005
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    Thank you, The Dark - glad you liked it!!

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 1, 2005
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    Thank you so much, Diogenes - I am honoured by your wonderful compliments!!

  • Buchan
    April 1, 2005
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    excellent

    Excellent poem of love and desire. Wonderful images well expressed in words ...A picture well written. Thank you for sharing such a good poem.


  • Blank Page
    April 1, 2005
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    wow great poem i liked the way it was layed out and the tone ...great

  • Aimee the Great
    April 1, 2005
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    Very good. Very cannon i like how you have the whole thing in parentheses over and over. Its good, with rhythim. Good work.

    damp rises
    from my roots,
    my eyes soak completely
    thats my favorite part!


  • Night Hope gold member
    March 31, 2005
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    This is a beautiful poem. You are very talented. I do not offer that opinion often. Please continue to write. The world needs to read your words.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 30, 2005
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    Leafy, thank you so much for your indepth comment. I must say it is one of the best and most comprehensive comments I've received on a poem AND from a contest host!! I do agree with you on most of the aspects that you've pointed out and I must admitt that the line about "thousand shards bliss" may seem odd because English is my second language and sometimes I think in Afrikaans and then try to write in English, lol! Thank you for this contest too - wonderful idea and chance to stretch myself here poetically! Be well ~

  • leafy
    March 30, 2005
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    Thank you for your entry, Nicolette, (and your comments on the contest!).
    I would describe the poem as a rapture; the emotive, intimate counterpoint refrains (in brackets), ending with the uniting of the poem's two voices, or parts, in the last six lines, seems almost to swoon in its close. We are seduced by the flowing imagery in this watery work.
    As always with what you write, I like the poem; you seem always to speak or sing with your true voice and always make true poetry, however, I have to critique a bit.

    The opening line - 'the first autumn' , I think refers to the first leaves to fall? Slightly ambiguous, no big deal.
    As others have commented, the vivid image of the cypress
    which 'stabs a hole in pregnant clouds' is arresting and does a lot to build the landscape and atmosphere of the poem but the end line of the stanza suffers from a lack of clarity, a cumbersome sibilance;

    'in thousands shards bliss'

    would read more exactly, and describe the effect more clearly as;

    'in thousand shard bliss'

    I love the next stanza, which has an effect of stillness and clarity; jewel water drops on the washing line, a useful contrast to that which preceded it. The image of your soul brimming on your lips continues the theme of fluidity and skilfully leads to the unity and close of the poem. And as Night Hope says, it does cause a gasp in the breast. It surprises me, how effectively the reader is absorbed into the watery element which the poem makes in its simple images; I see it at the same time as an art work, colour flowing in the streams of rainwater and of feeling.


  • Oisin silver member
    March 27, 2005
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    I see your poems taking another direction. It is more then sadness but maybe even anger with such sadness. The words strike home in me.

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 27, 2005
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    Hmmmmmmmmm....MEN!! No problem, my friend!! Thanks for the smiles!!


  • NoIQ gold member
    March 27, 2005
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    LOL -- no, Nicolette, I think it's safe to say the error is just my screen-name proving itself correct again in my naivete . I think I incorrectly read the expressions "amber sighs," "heart slips," "a cypress stabs a hole," "the day hangs, / lucid and wet," "damp rises / from my roots," and a couple others exactly how you might expect, but certainly did not intend, a typical man like me to read them LOL Blame it on oneluckygirl. I read her most recent "adult" poem immediately before yours
    Edited on Mar 27, 3:26 p.m. because ''.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 27, 2005
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    Thank you, mr NoIQ, for your very kind comment!! About the sensuousness, not really intended that way, but I guess it can be interpreted like that!! But that is what poetry should be like - every one taking someone different from it. Be well - and thanks again


  • NoIQ gold member
    March 27, 2005
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    Now here's just a lovely poem. The imagery (which I guess is the point of the contest) is just fantastic. It plays not only on various metaphors of love and desire, but there is a genuine sensuousness throughout the poem that teases with potential deeper contexts -- some of which, at least to me, hint at fair I am not about to put into words publicly (lol). Just a delightful poem, Nicolette.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 27, 2005
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    Psydeways Tears, thank you so much for that lovely comment. You just blew me away with it - much appreciated!!


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 27, 2005
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    passionvine, thank you for your lovely comment. I do appreciate it when someone takes the time to really look into a poem - you sure do!! ~


  • PsydewaysTears gold member
    March 26, 2005
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    Holy smokes! I'm not just touched.... I'm overblown! These words crate a a brand new universe of poetic density. (and that's all I can really say about it)


  • passionvine
    March 24, 2005
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    Exquisite



    You employ very fresh and imaginative imagery that maintains a consistent inner universe throughout. I particularly like the drama implicit in the line of the sharp cypress stabbing through pregnant clouds -- keen visual and tactile imagery that resonates with meaning.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 24, 2005
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    Wanda, dear friend, thank you so much! Your comments are always such a delight and brightens my eyes - Love you too, my sis in more than poetry


  • Night Hope gold member
    March 24, 2005
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    'the first autumn
    flutters to the ground
    in amber sighs

    (my heart slips
    from my hand)'

    I see Wendy is quoting the movie 'Jerry MacGuire', too... I have said this to you before, but it bears repeating...'You had me at "hello"'...Nic, this is a lush & gorgeous penning...such incredibly soft & vivid imagery...you create a world of Wonder all your own when you pick up your pen to write, my Friend...& we, your legion of fans, are suitably entranced by your Creation...so very well done, it causes the reader to gasp aloud...Brava, m'Love!!! Good luck in the contest, my Soul Sister...Love you, my Friend... ♥ Wanda

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 23, 2005
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    Thank you so much, Joel for your support and lovely comment, my friend ~


  • Poet Raja
    March 23, 2005
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    A sensual Beauty!!!

    You always write the most beautiful poems, Nicol and love inspires you with such intensity that we are awed by the passion it produces in your pen. You soak your pen in love and write with the passion that is ever rising and never fades.

    Good luck in the contest.

    Love from India - Joel -

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 23, 2005
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    Joe, thank you, dear friend - coming from you those words are pure gold to me


  • Manicmuze
    March 23, 2005
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    Oooo... this is gorgeous :-)
    I love this part;

    "(my heart slips
    from my hand)" that's one of those killer lines like "you complete me" from the movie jerry mcguire :-)

    Beautiful work, good luck in the contest!
    ~ Wendy

  • mimiagatha
    March 23, 2005
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    beautiful

    softly beautiful, you don't surprise me anymore my friend, your imagination lives in a world of its own, and luckily for us we have access to it via your words...


  • PurpleSky
    March 22, 2005
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    ohh wow girl this was just exquisite!! the flow the imagry and the love oh yes the love in this piece. I think I have a new favorite poem by you and this one my friend gets bookmarked and added to my author page under fav poems by ap authors thanks for this awsome awsome write!
    love and hugs
    ~Lena~


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22, 2005
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    Thank you, LadyUnique for your very kind comment. Glad you enjoyed the poem - be well ~

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22, 2005
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    Dear Melanie, thank you dear friend - you are so GREAT!! ~


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22, 2005
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    Paula, my dear friend, thank you for your wonderful and continuous support of my poetry. You sure make me SMILE, girl - thank you so much Sometimes I think I write just for the pleasure of your comments!!!


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22, 2005
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    Thank you, illusions - much appreciated. Some times the poems just come, but I tell you, I don't write easily.... Be well! ~


  • illusions
    March 21, 2005
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    how do you do it every time?? you have some of the best imagery i have ever seen in every one of your poems. you give me something to strive for. this is lovely! --illusions


  • LdyBrknWing gold member
    March 21, 2005
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    Too Beautiful!

    Oh my! Just when I think it would be impossible for your work to become any more lovely, you pen this amazing piece! "I will drown of this love, like the day and it's wet destiny." Wow! I'm at a loss here, to adequately tell you how deeply this short, but amazingly touching poem, moved me! Your work, Nicolette, is sheer beauty! The absolute quintessence of pure poetry! As always, girl, this was nothing short of perfection!
    Paula

  • angeledtweety
    March 21, 2005
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    this is a good poem you have a great imagination,you did a great job keep it up


  • luckynsincere
    March 21, 2005
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    Nicolette,
    This poem just screams your name!! It has your signature all over it... It is the most beautiful endearing thing I have read in a while!! Thanks for sharing this...
    Melanie


  • LadyUnique silver member
    March 21, 2005
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    this is very lush. i think it's close to perfect. a love poem but not mushy... it's unique.
    the word usage is phenomenal ( i think i spelled that right )
    and conjured up very vivid images while at the same time mixing your emotions into the poem. great job!


  • DonnasGuy
    March 21, 2005
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    this is something above the rest of the wirtes i have read recently
    i really enjoyed reading this write
    i have read lots today and by far this is among the greatest of them

    keep up the good work

    ~Michael~


  • CarterTachikawa
    March 21, 2005
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    A very beautiful poem about nature. The very last line gave me dirty thoughts but that's me, lol! I love your lines. Your imagery is tops. I love how it's flowing. Very, very enchanting. Keep on writing!

    ~CT


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 21, 2005
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    Ann, thank you, my dearest friend for sharing in everything that rains from my pen. You know just how to make my day

  • freedomofthemind
    March 21, 2005
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    This is a GREAT poem! The imagery is superb and the meaning, somewhat shrouded in mystery. It did bring about an image of wetness and I especially liked the first little stanza:
    the first autumn
    flutters to the ground
    in amber sighs
    Nice job!


  • hastings xx
    March 21, 2005
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    WOWza

    Decadent! This was DRIPPING with metaphors and fabulous imagery. Such rich vocabulary, I am impressed. This just reminded me of how much I LOVE fall. The opening lines were AMAZING, got me hooked,and held my interest til the very end. Bravo!

    Cheers...
    Hastings


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 21, 2005
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    Leander, your comments are getting better and better - simply awesome, my friend!! Thank you so much - you are fast becoming my 2nd best man on this site


  • CountryCousin
    March 21, 2005
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    Incredible

    Yes the imagery was very beautiful and the flow extremely well. I liked how you handled yourself. This is nicely done.

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Steve...if only they knew how much we're soaked - love you

  • A Deeper Blue
    March 21, 2005
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    This was beautiful! The imagery was rich and enchanting. It had a bit of a whimsical feel to it too. Great job on this, I really have no criticisms!


  • Alahmorah
    March 21, 2005
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    This is the most beautiful thing I have read today. It is absolutely amazing! The wording is perfect, and it flows so nicely to it's end. This poem shows me your true talent.
    "the first autumn
    flutters to the ground
    in amber sighs" Amber sighs-truly amazing.
    I bow to you.
    Love and Blessings, Ashlee


  • March 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!

    Once again I'm in absolute awe Nicolette your imagination of words is astounding, absolutely brilliant!
    a cypress stabs a hole
    in pregnant clouds, heaven breaks
    in thousands shards bliss
    This is just amazing! I so enjoy reading your writes, they expand a whole new horizon for me, really sis, this is excellent. All the best in the contest, Annie


  • Reset Button
    March 21, 2005
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    Sorry but I can't help but laugh. Everytime I see wet I think of someone peeing their pants...disturbing I know but I can't get it out of my head. This piece is amazing. I love it! I want to read more of your work from it alone. I feel compelled to.

    I love how the words are subtle but loud all at once. Such talent.

    Wet...

  • marrow
    March 21, 2005
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    Bravo for you. I totally am adoring a few of these lines. The way that you wrote them with such amazing description.. wwell, it is really pleasant to read.

    "the first autumn
    flutters to the ground
    in amber sighs"
    'Amber sighs' is a brilliant description and leaves the mind with vibrant imagery.

    "a cypress stabs a hole
    in pregnant clouds, heaven breaks
    in thousands shards bliss"
    'Pregnant clouds' is another terrific line. The similie is simply one of the most original yet simple ones that I ever have seen.

    "I will drown of this love
    like the day
    in its wet destiny"
    That sure puts an elegant and beautiful side to a rainy day.

    Awesome job, Nicolette.

    Justin


  • TheHatedRebelDevil
    March 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is DRENCHED in feeling. This was awesome. Dude, you totally absorbed the feelings, and shot them out towards me. Great Description, THIS WAS AWESOME! Great job, keep up the great feelings, this was electrifying, letting my soul breathe, it was a relxing somewhat sad breath of feeling, and it made this piece of work AWESOME!
    You rock dude, or dudette.
    -Veira Ash

  • Drag-o
    March 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Noit only do i like this poem as a poem but its title makes it all the better and i like all the imagery you put in it, great work pal!

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