Lies of being happy
Dreams of dying
Tears fall down my cheeks
Childhood memories are gone
Blanked from mind
God frowns on me
For every sin I make in one single day
Schools hard
Students make life Hell
Making fun
Judging others
Glad to hear that end of the day bell
Ending up home with five people
Family cannot be the word
Fridge is barely full
Scattered in different rooms during our McDinner
I hide away in my room
Sisters gone sleeping around
Fights break out more than said
Scared to take a gun to my head
Or it would have happened years ago
Pain fills my heart
Only a speck of love lies at the bottom
For only a few
But this is who I really am.
Author notes
I play it off like I am happy. but i am not. i write about being depressed but this basically explanes why i am depressed, or how i feel. the title of this peice has to do with the topic of this contest, but i want you to know i am not going to anything stupid because i do not believe in taking your own life. also, you can find hope anywhere you look and I agree with that Liz. and that is why i know i am going to be fine.
The poems I had commented on for this contest were:
Afraid by Tide
Gay by Chickenfetus666
Pain within by rockstarangel7
At Night by evilbatwomen
Tell me a secrete by Simbelmyne
And I am working on commenting everyone elses
Written March 20th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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oh my gosh i can so relate.this poem is just awsome.this is exactly how i feel every single day.you did a really great job on this.
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FINAL NOTE: Wonderful entry!
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Josh....just making my rounds and re-reading everyone's entries.
I really do like this one. I wish you luck. -
Im really intimidated after reading this masterpeice (personally atleast). I was going to enter but I have a hard act to follow with just the first poem I've read.. I'll be honest, when it first started I thought it was going to be the usual generic suicide life sucks poem, but it had alot of class.. I really really liked it.
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This work of yours is real. Thats what I like about it. No hyperbole, no metaphor, no poetic devices. This is blunt and honest. I usually dont go for works like that, but it is the perfect style for what you are trying to say here.
The last few lines felt like a lie, though... to me. I'm a fool that way.
Power to you, and keep it up! -
Like always that was a great poem!! I love reading your stuff I can't get enough. It is kinda like drugs, you use the good stuff once and your stuck on it!
Always glad to read your stuff
Nessa/RedMidnight -
brings back sniffles from yesteryears
That's a really good poem. the line about the end of the day bell is a little rough, but i like this anyway. it's home my home is...fighting...we never talk to eachother either. I don't believe in suicide either. i was like that in 7th grade...i was really depressed, and made like i was hyper. but...i grew up, found myself. hope you do ok. if ya need to talk. you know what to do.
4EVER BEIN ME,
WESLEANN -
Once again a truly magnificent peom. The pain of being a teen is stated quit clearing in my opinion and I would have to agree, that life is hell and yes school is a bitch but we must all get through it, keep up the writting Id like to read more.
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Amazing work
Whoa!I think it is amazing to finally come out in the open of something that may be personal to you.I do think that you should not hide the real you behinde a happy face,especialy if your not happy.It must be a releif to let it all out.I am very happy that you choose not to hurt and damage you body by killing yourself.This was an exellent poem that expresses your true feelings.Nice work. -
Josh......my dear Josh... You are truly an amazing writer. Your words always convey such reality and such meaning. You and I both know life is sort of like a facade in which we are trapped. From our conversations...I know as you know with me...we portray such a strong and joyful self portrait when indeed we live life as a simple puzzle with many pieces misplaced.
It takes courage to open yourself up to me and the world and explain just how things are in reality. I know you will not ever take your life...for we have discussed this issue...before. Though you may feel broken and alone...weary or misplaced...know that I am here. Yes..Josh...we can find hope...anywhere we look if we only will seek it. Hope...can be as simple as a hug from a friend...or just the smile of a stranger who brightens our day.
Josh...thanks so much for this beautifully written entry. I know it is heartfelt and sincere my friend.
LIZ
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