After the funeral
the Past departed with the last forced mourners,
whose facial expressions
with their tremolo of tics, -
tell-tale suppressions, -
told of fear. Tension in tightened corners
of mouth and eyes.
Terror, surprise,
trembling cries,
each would disguise, -
anguish masked, questions unanswered here.
The Past departed, partly of its own accord
parts, shut out, ignored,
their roles played out
as few could still afford
to flout mor[t]ality.
Time’s uncertainties by Time itself underscored.
Departure leaving
absence of feeling.
Absence of feeling
hermetically sealing
from mind and face all trace of childhood innocence.
In place of innocence and grace, -
Loss, emptiness !
Emptiness here an imperfect vacuum
open unto wilderness
of self-delusion of strength
which, all the more fragile for its brave face,
is self-defeating.
A vacuum is strong,
it can do no wrong,
being internally self sufficient.
The Past departed; at first sight seeming to ease out emotion.
threat squeezing, freezing,
unappeasingly diseasing.
The surface calm afforded no balm, no outlet for the lotion
that soothes the spirit,
dowsing suffering and pain,
incorporating the magic potion
which to love and light restores
the soul through tears.
Tears, in childhood and advancing years,
cleanse fears.
Superficial calm masks
the rampant tiger of repression
whose burning eyes prowl through
the layers of sensation
to plough the deep recesses of the mind,
exploding the barriers which we
in our blindness instinctively
erect. Too soon we lose the key
to unlock them, thus we restrain Love’s passage to the world.
Yet, although fears increase, prevent release,
distort the soul, fragment the whole,
there too are feeling forces,
secret sources which well up and chart
twin courses down the cheeks from which the heart’s
resources spring, may bring relief, sing peace.
The Past departed with the last forced mourners,
Their dark impressions cold and drear, conscience unclear.
Unwelcome intimations of mortality
pervasively intruded, could not disappear.
Release was a luxury few could afford.
Terror, surprise, tension in tightened corners
of mouth and eyes. The dreaded shadow loomed near,
as surface distress, masking primal self-pity,
angrily welled up, and, for the living, shed a tear.
Bronze trophy winner
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