I would like to be a line on your palm,
to be your breath,
sunshine and drops of rain
in your hair,
song of your heart,
to be your blood.
To be sun and wind.
To be white sand
and ocean of your life.
I would like to be
your lake in the mountain.
I would like to take away
all your fears,
to wipe with kisses
all your tears.
To give you
a new meaning of Love
and life.
To be yours. Forever.
To the Eternity.
Author notes
Written March 20th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Most Unique Love Poem ......Quickie contest... by poet2angels.
300 points, ended March 3, 2006, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Yes Linda, this is truth. I am glad you like it. Thank you for your time to read my poem and for best wishes.
~Sonja~ -
very lovely piece here and good luck in the contest.. I like the words you formed to make a sweet love poem..keep penning my friend..Linda
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Very Good
Yes, this works really well, you know what to say and more to the point what not to say.
It's a fine balance and you pull it off well, the style of this is particualrly appealing, it is slightly quirky and adds to its appeal perhaps more than the words do.
James
x -
Awww, I'm touched by this piece. Your a wonderful writer. Thanks so much for entering and good luck.
~Brandi~ -
What a wonderful expression of love,Some of the warmest ,saddest.most beautiful poems Stem from that little word LOVE. you have done an excellent job of putting your feelings into this one.A most enjoyable read.Well done
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Thank you for your very nice comment!
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Very nice poem. So much feeling spilled out in this one. Always like that. I like the way you opened it best when you say
"I would like to be a line on your palm,
to be your breath,
sunshine and drops of rain
in your hair,
song of your heart,
to be your blood"
Very strong wording there and descriptive. Also nice love poem.
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Thank you very much for a good vishes. I am glad that you like this poem.
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Nicely done!!! I wrote one kind of like this. It's called your angel. So I know exactly how this feels. Keep writing you obviously have talent. Good luck in my contest!!!!
Chealsy -
I know the feeling of wanting to be everything for someone. To have someone be everything to you. great write
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aww thats sweet.. good poem!
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Thank you!
Thanks Hollie, I am trying to write a poem with all feelings and imagination. Sometimes it is good a way. Sometimes not. Sometimes it depands of me sometimes of readers.
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wow this is a really sweet, touching poem!! great work i loved it!!
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This is a great poem. Very sweet and emmotional with a dreamy feel to it. I like it alot. The whole thought of being those things in it's symbolic meaning is wonderful. Great write
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Thankful
It is truth Sandi. Our wishes are sometimes only wishes, but, what we could be without dreams? I am trying to explain with simple wishes and simple words our deepest feelings.
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Sonja, this touched my heart so much this morning. When we are lucky enough to find true love, it is a most wonderful feeling indeed.
The line "I would like to be a line on your palm"
stands out so loudly, yet tenderly of the feeling of complete togetherness, it's breathtaking in its simplicity.
A wonderful read all around Sandi
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This is a great piece. So heartfelt. When we love someone...theres nothing more we would rather do than.....give them everything and anything. We want to BE their everything too. Love is such a wonderful thing when its right. Great job on this write....you can really feel thee emotion here-Amy
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Oh geez, I know exactly how this feels.
There is someone that I want to be all these things for, I just was not knowing how to put it all in to words. Thank you for knowing my heart better than I -
AwW that is realy sweet very visual poem short and sweet
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When in love with some one, you feel like to give her or him everything you got.. you make sure that the lover gets all the comfort in this world... and finally you concluded it very well...
To be yours. Forever.
To the Eternity
It was a pleasant read...
mina -
I'm currently listening to the soundtrack of Riverdance, which I must say is giving this poem and amazing effect. The mental images it has planted make me smile and I thank you for that.
Such a beautiful write because it speaks of the simple things in life, but brings them to life! -
Thank you. Our emotional baggage must be reviewed sometimes. It is truth that all of us need some special time or place to expres our feelings. That is a reason why so many people have to write a verses. We do not know how to talk because always somebody hurts us or we have a need to hurt somebody. That is so sad.
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Love it. It's so damn heartfelt. I've been wanting to write a piece like this with this type of feeling behind it, but I have so much emotional baggage holding me at bay. This is just great, to be so open and well,... just keep writing. Nice work.
Maab -
Thank you for good intention and for all other!
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To be yours. For ewer.
To the Eternity.
forever*
good job with writing this. nice read. enjoyed.
Blu
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