He often cries
as steady as the rain
as his energy - has reached it's limit
It is time for him to rest
But, he asks questions
that only one -
can provide answers
He still wonders
~why~
his father died
He wants to see him again
~but~
not in an imaginative state
He asks
did daddy fly to heaven?
For he perceives him
to have wings
because his father is an angel
He smiles
when it rains
for the stairs to heaven
present
in a multi-colored way
He searches for its end
so he can climb his way
to see his father
~once more~
But all the while
worried
as there is no railing
But believes
his father will catch him
if he happens to fall
Author notes
Ben loves to see the rainbow......he truly believes they are the stairs to heaven......and his dad......
It is sad......but yet.....one of the most beautiful things to watch........One four year old boy.......just wanting to see his dad again......
Timothy Michael Radloff 3-2-65--12-24-2003
Written March 19th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- JUST FOR FUN ( the latest contest of truthwriter ) by sweethelper.
300 points, ended June 26, 2006, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PICTURE INSPIRATION by Darc Soul.
450 points, ended April 11, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything that'll make anybody happy! by FindinSoundInSilence.
474 points, ended July 7, 2008, 64 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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a very touching poem
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That was a wonderful peice of poetry. It's amazing how you can make the reader feel so many emotions and the emotions of the boy in that one poem. Awesome job!
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thank you for entering this was a beautiful poem with and equally beautiful message and strong emotion
good luck
A.o.D -
I really enjoyed this poem very sweet feel free to judge some of mine
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Thank You Zonia.
Actually, my son was three when my husband passed away. From the moment I told him that daddy was in heaven (he died on Christmas Eve), he understood and began to cry. He has an over average intelligence. He turned five last week and still searches for and loves the rainbow. He is also one the happiest kids even with what has happened to him. Thanks again.
Lisa -
This is so sweet and heartbreaking. A four year old boy who can hardly believe or understand that his father is in heaven and whom he wants to visit, using the rainbow as a staircase. The story is wonderful... This poem will stick in my mind for ever I think. Great write.
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So special
A dear, precious, and touching write. This little guy must look at all those colors and a paradise. sigh Such a touching tribute. Well done. Best of luck in this contest. ~Pam
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excellent
Beautiful Write!!!!
I love how you brought this all together with the rainbow. At first I did not see what it had to do with a raibow. So Bravo how it all came together. -
wow! what a poem!!!! so touching....very well written and very sweet. a real view through a child's eyes. loved the lines:
he still wonders
why
his father died
that was SO moving! once again,well done.....hope to read more such wonderful works of yours.
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very sad but lovely to read
this poem is so moving and makes me want to weep for little Ben...really well written and deserves my applause -
this is one of the sweetest poems i have ever read. your love for your son is evident in each word.
on a technical note, in S1L3, "as" seems awkward because it implies present tense but you then use "reached" which is past tense. also, in S8, you use "but" twice, and it stands out. maybe remove or replace one.
this truly is a heartfelt and beautiful poem. you brought tears to my eyes.
illusions -
Oh my.. I am in LOVE with your poetry.. how beautifully you use language and words... you are such a damn talented writer.. I'm adding you to my favourites.. (your #2 of 2) lol.. Thankyou for your writing.
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What a beautiful picture your son has. Seeing a rainbow as the stairway to heaven. I am sure he really misses his daddy. It has been a while since I have read your work. I am not sure why, and I apologize for my neglect. Thank you so much for stopping by. I will try not to be a stranger.
S♠m
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I agree with smiley. If Ben does fall, then his father shall catch him. This was a very good piece of work. I like how you envisioned this picture in a variety of many words. Great job!
I enjoyed it!
-Veira Ash -
the view through a childs eyes. Ben is very perceptive and that is a wonderful gift. I do believe if he falls his father will catch his fall.
Yvonne
Love to you and your family -
I'v lost close relatives to me as well and this just broke my heart. if you read my poem 'in memory of hector' that is about the most resent one. i nver thought of it like this but i think it's a good way to look at it.
beautiful poem.
luv dd -
Oh my God, I'm heartbroken. I don't know why this poem affected me so much - I am lucky in that I have only lost a handful of beloved relatives and that my immediate family are still with me. Maybe it's becuase my little pet Bronte died yesterday (nothing in comparison I know, but,...) and I'm feeling a loss, but this poem has made me fight back the tears and thank God and all his pixies that I am alive, and so are those I love. Thank you so much for this, treasure every second. I'm rambling incoherantly now - look what you did! Gaah Thankyou xxxx
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this is so cute
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I hope things are well.
Sorry to hear of your loss.
Mary -
Beautifully written.
~shaitus -
Lisa , I so love all your write , but mosttly the ones about little Ben . It is as if I am right there to share a little of his innocence and his questionning litle mind . Once again you wrote this so straight from your own heart' I wish you all well , and much love always
Reenie
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Four year olds are at a delightful age. The way they percieve things is wonderfuly innocent and pure. I'm sorry his Daddy is gone, but as long as he holds him in his heart, he'll always be with him.
You've expressed this little boy's feelings and innocence so very well in this piece, Leance. It's a lovely write.
Dee
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Wow this is sappy, but a very good sappy. It's unique and personal, and it's so beautifully hopeful, the last stanza really catching me. I love the multi colored stair thing, I loved the flow of this in a child's wanting imagination and the want of his father is strong, but it's hard cause it's hard to satisfy for a child. And the connection with this with the idea of the "father" being a play with the idea of salvation.
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excellent
This is truly beautiful and truly sad. It would be so heart breaking for you to watch your son miss his father so much and being that his only 4 it would be so hard to explain to him that where his father has gone dosen't have stairs to bring him back.. Wonderful peice this is.. -
This is really sad but Ben is lucky to have you, and you have done a magnificent job.
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Oh, my gosh, this breaks my heart. What a precious view your son has about the rainbow reaching his daddy. 'Through the mouth of babes'often comes cherished words. Wonderful piece. Am glad you featured this! vj
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Wow, this is really sad! I can't help but feel this could be drafted and composd further into a RENGA type poem! It seems to have the feel and the style? Either way, I enjoyed the poem and shared the pain for a brief moment, all the best, Paul
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Ahh thats sweet. to some that is the stairway to heaven. Im sorry for ben's loss must be tragic.
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