Her moonlight-kissed skin glows in the fog of midnight
as she entrances you into her crepuscular lair.
Her black hair spills over her shoulders,
a waterfall of darkness staining her innocence.
You can't help noticing
her succulent, pale red lips
as her tongue gently glides over
their perfect contour.
Even the cobwebbs weave a spell of lust
over your hazy mind.
Her eyes, red with hunger, lure you onto her
twilight-woven bed.
Mouth watering, you crave her milky figure.
Her dark gown gathers at her feet, enticing you
to taste her...before she tastes you.
Author notes
Vampire
Written March 19th, 2005
A contest entry
- The art of seduction by Mannequin.
400 points, ended March 26, 2005, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Over all I liked this very much! I do have a sort of question for you though. Pale red lips? I get the image of pink instead of red. Is it the color you are after or the image of lifelessness?
Vampires are wicked and some of the best literary characters as far as I'm concerned. You can see her quite well in this write.
She makes death beautiful. -
en·trance2 ( P )
tr.v. en·tranced, en·tranc·ing, en·tranc·es
To put into a trance.
To fill with delight, wonder, or enchantment: a child who was entranced by a fairy tale.
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It's not supposed to be erotic.
Love and Blessings, Ashlee -
This is dark, and this is beautiful, I caught you on the Featured List, and I just wanted to say I enjoyed this.
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I can't see how you can use the noun "entrance" as a verb and I feel this acts as a bad intro to the poem; otherwise it's quite creepy and spooky.
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Didn't seem erotic enough to me -- but that is because mere descriptions are not good enough. I can only be turned on if there is an element of personality. I need to care for the character before I go ga-ga over her.
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this a very well written piece Ashlee,
Good luck in the contest
Gothic Angel
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ooo i liked getting stuck within this!
thank you for your lovely comment and reading me
excellent poem -
Thanks for looking at my entry! I really like yours..just as HauntOfTheLost said, there is very descriptive language and imagery..I like how poems don't have to rhyme and can still flow! Methinks I want that vampire too lol
Great write and best of luck!
-Lis
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Excellent
WOW! Ashlee, just amazing in imagery... "book writing time" great beginning of an opening page of a novel... absolutely fantastic! And you did it my friend, you made her quite the seductress, excellent! Best of luck in the contest, it's superb, Love and many blessings, Annie
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Thank you. I am a free-form, non-rhyming poet.
P.S. I want this vampire, too.
Ha.
Love and Blessings, Ashlee
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I want this vampire
hehehe awesome write very descriptive language and great imagery! Flows very naturally although it doesn't rhyme. Very sensual write. Good job and thanks for entering!
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