Thoughtful to manic
in three milliseconds
Down the one-way freeway, arms flapping -
Flinging heels, haberdashery
and harboured hurts to the four winds.
Heaven only knows what happened.
Only, now....
i don't think that girl was me -
her heart fluttering like
a gazillion migrating moths
trapped in the ticking of time.
Her facial features fibrillate and distort,
flesh creeps,goose-bumpish, pale.
Maybe i'm melting? Maybe she is?
Scrutinous eyes peer curiously -
from behind those familiar blinds.
Apparently i said i was going to Goa -
not through the tracks of my tears,
but through the cracks
in
my
mind.
Author notes
Written March 19th, 2005
A contest entry
- The Deranged Visionary Addiction by Not here 101.
350 points, ended March 20, 2005, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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nice, i even cracked smile there.
j_i -
hi there silica,
yes am slowly emerging from the brainfog that is the early stages of first-time motherhood.....it was all i could do to reply to your comment on a poem written long ago...hope i have time for something vaguely poetic and non-baby related soon...good to see you keeping on with what you are the best at!
thanks for reading....
smiles
hsh -
Haberdashery – nice word¡! I don’t think I have ever used it (list of things to do – lol)
I didn’t think the poem was harshly edgy… perhaps mildly sanded – the theme was rather to cogent for wild paranoia but I rather liked it. It had some very good atmosphere and attitude without being stark staring. Good to see you writing again too¡!
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Your cheering section has covered the bases here. I haven't much left to say. The ending is nicely done. Good job.
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hrm a very interesting poem...and obviously this poem has a lot of descriptions....it was a very descriptive poem...good job
Poetry-4-Life
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Darn.. forgot to give you the applause.. here you go.
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I am still entranced by that extraordinary aura that you had created in that poem! Every line was a bag of chips, and then some! I really loved it.. and you can tell, because I am throwing around my stupid phrases so early in the morning.
Honestly.. each word fit into the piece perfectly. It was such a beautiful flow, and I wa sso fortunate to have read this. For that I am awarding you with my first applause of the day.
Justin -
Interesting and excellent play with the words in such a way as to show how the printed word can paint visual pictures within the cranium of the skull/mind. With such nice usage of pacing, spacing and sense of feel, this poem is a very good example on why good poetry invokes more than one "sense" and allows for an organic connection of poet-poem-receiver. I especially enjoyed the first "stanza" of this work!
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lovely. you really struck at this contests meaning.
-good luck in the contest
cassie
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1 - 9 of 9
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