God was invented and he is a cliche`,
God was invented, he is a cliche`,
I fear my life more than a coffin,
And I care little to create a soft sin,
I know myself and I feel content,
I know myself and feel content,
What I know, what are my beliefs,
What I write, I care for these,
The words on the page show the look on my face,
The words on the page show my face,
The book says ignorance is bliss,
Gambling time throughout my life shan't be missed,
He is like the narcotics we smoke,
Like an addiction that runs you broke,
God was invented and he is a cliche`,
God was invented, he is a cliche`.
-line 12- shan't ...shall not..
...found in early Shakespeare..
Author notes
Please take in each line as it is read not as a simple expression that is colaborated into many small ideas, but large idea into a small expression....if that makes sence,...lol...anyway...peace and love.
Written March 18th, 2005
A contest entry
- Bible Bashing. Oh Come all ye Faithful. by ----michael----.
400 points, ended April 15, 2005, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is by far my most favorite out of all the poems you have written. This seemed to have an atheism feel to it. Is that the idea you were going for? Sorry if I misunderstood. Hope you keep writing.
Peace.
Haley Mary
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perplexing
It amazes me that you can write with the profound notions and insights that you write with and call yourself an atheist. I am finding that hard to believe for some reason. I think perhaps you are trying to convince yourself in this one. I also think perhaps you have had early training in some religion and have turned your back on it and struggle with issues of anger. (I'm an analyst dont ya know?) jk......I just thought I would put down what I was thinking, hope thats ok because your work has given me over to this freedom, for some reason. You are talented and I do believe gifted. Hence the reason for my above statement. It is a paradox to me I am afraid. hmmmm....pondering that one. "I know it is not my job" ha ha -
Good poem, very nice. keep it up!
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Poetry is meant to be interpreted from the reader to create a meaning for that specific purpose. Although i wrote this with a certain intention, It still means only what you make it. As far as why i say god is a cliche`,...I state this because i am athiest. I feel the bible is an early form of government, a way to control the populas. I don't believe yet i still use sayings that i feel make it a cliche`...."God damn it"..."oh my God"...."jesus Christ"...all examples of what i feel makes god a cliche`........
As far as the repitition goes, i puposely made the lines repeat, not because i am untalented at rhyming, but because i wanted those specific lines to attach themselves to the reader.
Anyway, thanks for the criticism, i appreciate it much...
Peace and love. -
Not a bad write. Maybe it would be a little better if you found words to rhyme with those lines that you repeated so you don't have to repeat them, because they don't really work very well IMHO.
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a chiche is he? Well, thats one cliche taht has been arround for many thousands of years if that is what it truly be. Why do you think that? It didn't really say why in your poem. (just curious)
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