Death lies behind her eyes
Seeing her fate, sensing her demise
Talking shallow, closing her eyes
Seeing her fate as well as her demise
She bends the cards slowly
Hoping to stray
Zoning in and all so far away
She sees the death behind her eyes
Sensing her fate
As well as her demise
Taste of razor blades in her mouth
The drop of her soul as it falls south
The tragic fall of her empire
Where did it go
What speaks in her truths
She may never know
She may never know the truth lying behind her eyes
She attempts to shut out her own demise
Shes only begun to misunderstand
Her wandering soul once again
Where did her faith go
Hope rolls in with the tide
Breeding the will to evolve and glow
Remembering the day when her remorse died
Blackness resides in the windows to her soul
Ignorance of the warning
She can feel the touch of death
Twisting and growing
She searches harder behind her eyes
No longer feeling her demise
Finally she opens her beautiful hazel eyes
Fixed on her cards
She lies down the heart
The number being 9.
Author notes
Michelle Garza, "Demonia", and Me, Michelle Julian, "Mishielle" wrote this poem together, I started it and ended it, and well you get the idea, I haven't wrote a good poem in a long time, so this poem is very special to me... The last line, The card 9 of hearts, is the card in her deck for complete and utter happiness basically, if that helps understanding the poem more... It's a deck of future telling cards... Not tarot cards though
Written March 16th, 2005
A contest entry
- Hit Me. by melodramangst.
300 points, ended July 13, 2006, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Hey. This poem was decent and did a really good job of giving the impression that this is something going on in someone's head. I think it could have used a bit more cohesion. I see it's a collaboration but the feeling of spitting out one line, and then another that may or may not build on the other was prevalent, like you had more ideas than you were willing or able to explore beyond just a line or two. It's cute though. Props.ss.s.s.s.ss..s.ss.sfksafj
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yea we wrote it together, I started it, and she wrote a few lines, then I wrote a few lines, and so on, she ended it as well, you can kinda tell where I wrote and she wrote, well we can lol, but yea thanks so much for the comment! I haven't wrote anything good in a while and I though this was a really good poem. Oh and the reason her eyes in the poem are hazel is cause her eyes are brown, and mine are blue, so the mix is hazel,
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Wow this is a collaboration? I could not tell with how well it flows together...I can feel the pain in these words..you have described the feeling well..I really liked the last 8 lines..excellent job on this...you should write together more if this is the result..
~Kristy
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