I would have been sixteen
this December 7th
I would have blown out the candles,
then gone to my room
to cry some more.
I might have talked to my friends--
masking my pain--
"I'm fine," I might have replied
when they inquired about my choked tone
choked on tears, on life.
When I was young, I dreamed
of butterflies and waterfalls
and sailing on an endless sea
when I got older, my dreams,
which once were infinite,
crashed onto the rocks of adolescence
and my never-ending ocean
evaporated.
When I was thirteen,
I looked in the mirror
and saw the true me,
hidden behind obsidian hair,
sleek waves of deceit
and earthen eyes.
I hated me.
When my first love faded away,
it was too much to take,
but I moved on somehow
gripping the threads of life
in lines of blood on my arms.
As I grew older
and reached fifteen,
I looked into me again,
and I broke.
I thought of his face one last time
as I tightened the noose
around my neck.
And the world finally faded
to the darkness I knew was waiting.
Author notes
I originally wrote this for english class a few months ago.
We were doing writing excercises, and we were supposed to put ourselves in the place of someone who was no longer living, and write from their perspective. I ended up choosing Malini and writing this. And crying as I wrote it, because it unearthed the feelings I had buried for 9 months.
Not the tribute you deserve, Malini, but I just want you to know I'm thinking of you today. And I really miss you.
R.I.P.
Malini Sathyadev
12/7/88--3/16/04
Depression can lead to suicide.
WATCH FOR THE SIGNS.
Written March 16th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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I doubt you know who I am, but I sang with Malini in the childrens choir, and I just randomly did a search for her and came across your poem. I really like it and its very sad, but, at the same time kind of happy poem because you are at least remembering her, and showing a part of who she was, and could have been. Good job <3
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yeah but you luv me admit it
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you are LAAAAAAAME <3
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noice that was really good i had no idea you were that good of a writer suweet
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wow. erica. im so sorry this happened. i love the whole "i would've" thing, it really is a good look at suicide. what couldve happned. and it was really touching. beautiful. keep it up.
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this is good. i enjoyed reading it, i often feel like this so i know wut ur going through, but then again i'm sure you hear that all the time again this was good
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