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A Sonnaiku for a Brother (Gregorian Italian French Sonnaiku)

Missing image
by ~Gregg Rowe~

~ ~

I attend midnight mass -- lay my soul down:
His body of unlevened bread I eat,
Three “Virgin Mary’s” I need to repeat --
As I kneel in golden alter boy’s gown.
Take the red blood wine -- that’s been incense crowned:
My last confession,  I accept my feat --
Leave His House -- relinquishing my pew seat,
The news broke out that forced me to leave town.

october cornfields
beaten scarecrow hog-tied to fence
angel shepard dies

“Words flow like wine from badly broken glass” --
An angel’s life comes media’s news flash.
His blood “running crimson as  deep red wine” --
His death that cuts into this heart of mine:
He whispers to me from the skies afar --
“When it is darkest, you can see the stars!”


~ ~

Author notes

The poem is an Italian Sonnet with a French Sestet and a Haiku juxtaposed between the octave and the sestet:  What we now call the Gregorian Sonnaiku .

Contest: For The Pros!
by Andy Stephenson

I want to see why you get all those trophies.  Must have 50 trophies to enter. One entry per writer.  Fresh writes get extra consideration.  Prewrites allowed.  If you enter a form poem, please explain the form in your author's comments; blank, free, rhyme, haiku and pixiku are understood.  Also in your author's comments, tell me briefly why you are so successful.  Poems only.  Form and subject are open.

What makes me a pro poet?  I am a student of English Literature and Creative Writing at Concordia University in Montreal.  I have been reading and writing poetry since I was a child as a reason for escaspism from a battered home life.  I become serious in high school after I was published in our local paper and then went on to win the top award for Alberta students in amatuer poetry contests.  With continued support from my high school treacher and ridicule by family members I continued to pen through my teens and young adulthood.  Latr in my twenties, a college professor became my mentor and soon I was giving public performances of my works.  I pay particular attention to not only the classics and traditional forms, but explore and dable in modern, beat and new forms that are always being developed as poetry evolves.  I am not nervous to make mistakes and to learn from critques, they allow me to grow in my field.  I am a firm believer in intertexuality in poetry, to place images and references to deepen a poem's meanings.  I work on my poetry every day, setting aside an hour or two to at least pen a few lines or work on a masterpiece.  I have been fortunate in my poetry career, my muses have given more than one good poem on page, and it is this that I am most proud of being a poet.

“When it is darkest, you can see the stars!”  -- Emmerson

Gregorian Sonnaiku (How To Write This New Form—Learning Column)
allpoetry.com/Column/1043872

Matthew Shepard Foundation
www.matthewshepard.org/

A Tribute To Matthew Wayne Shepard
www.texasdude.com/matthew.htm

Written March 16th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • Forbidden Image
    December 7, 2006

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    very nice. i see you gave great skill. maybe you could teach me a few things sometime. thanks for your entry.


  • lordoftherings gold member
    February 18, 2006
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    Matthew Sheppard was a gay man that was lead from a bar by two men in Wyoming who took him out to the country, stripped him, hung him up on a fence like a scarecrow and beat and burned him to death because of his sexuality. This happened in GOD's country of the United States. Being raised Catholic and having to do peneance for my 'sin' of sexuality, I could only imagine what Matthew went through in his final moments as he slowly, and I mean slowly died out in the wilderness by himself from bruised pain and burnt skin. There were two links supplied for background information to the poem as well as the style/form that the writing was penned in. Hope this clears up some of your questions Andy. Thank you for commenting on the poem.

    Gregg

    Edited on Feb 18, 10:25 p.m. because ''.


  • Andy Stephenson
    February 18, 2006
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    I don't really understand this poem. The person in the poem does communion and I guess confesses, then leaves town, but I don't understand why. I like "When it is darkest, you can see the stars". Thanks for entering.


  • April Renee
    April 21, 2005
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    just beautiful. that ending just about got me. very nicely penned. was well worth the read. a lovely tribute.

    Blu


  • Lapis Lazuli
    April 10, 2005
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    This is an amazing poem! It is full of so much emotion and the imagery is fantastic. Brilliant! Keep these excellent poems coming. Congratulations for winning the contest!


  • punkrocksmidge
    April 9, 2005
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    Interesting... I thought I had commented on this. In any case, it's incredible. I honestly can't figure out how everything you write has the same emotion-stricken, gutwrenching honesty and purity. Most people are lucky to write one in a lifetime. You're at the very top of my list of favourite AP poets, bud And I'm happy again because it's one that hasn't yet won one of my contests -you winning would be fair
    ~Samantha~


  • Naia
    March 18, 2005
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    Gregg . . . I've begun reading some of your poetry, as of about a week ago, now, so am quite pleased to read this one entered by you, and, being a haiku poet (as well as other forms) your sonnaiku intriques me. Nicely done, dear bard, as well as your treatment of such heart rending subject matter.

    Naia


  • dp robertson
    March 16, 2005
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    This is heartbreaking while on the other hand- in someway, soul restoring. The structure is flawless, the tone is magical and the heart of this poem sad in the extreme. But beyond the obvious, no matter what the subject matter, it is my belief that all poems are about the writer, not the subject and this reflects the underpinned moment where humanity conquers all.

    This was great

    David

  • lordoftherings gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    Patricia: Again, I need to thank another poet for picking up on my indiscrepencies of spelling, must be the ruralistic langugage that the professors wish to beat out of me coming out again. It was a honour to pen this for your contest. Gregg ♥


  • pattyann4500
    March 16, 2005
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    Gregg, I am pleased to read this one. You have chosen my favorites of all, and you have done so beautifully. Thank you so much for entering this lovely piece and good luck in the contest. Hugs, Patricia

    By the way, "hogged-tied" should be "hog-tied."


  • thelordreigns gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    inspired and crafted with excellence

    This form is wonderful. This poem is so sad. Thank you.

  • honeyhannah
    March 16, 2005
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    this is really beautiful your rhyming is really well done as are your metaphors and imagery

  • x garamChai
    March 16, 2005
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    Another beautiful piece...you're so brilliant at this form, I could never attempt one of these and expect it to come out half as beautiful as yours do much love and peace and prayer for your loved one ?? Amritha


  • Sharon Corr gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    Brilliance TRUE GOLD

    ~ My new old friend Gregg Rowe~
    ~All of heavens blessings to the brilliant and talented soul of Gregg Rowe~
    Every time I feel your songs, I feel like I am actually seeing the 8th wonder of the world.
    That is who you are. Gregg Rowe you’re a shinning star in all our hearts and souls.
    You have an elegant touch of love that soars in all our eyes.
    You inscribe words of the Lord forevermore.
    This is another masterpiece for all of us to touch, feel and believe.
    You simply out do yourself my sweet Gregg Rowe.
    The heavens and the Lord bless you everyday.
    With the tender words of light, you bring us today and yesterday.
    Bravo! If I could give you a million applause, I would!
    Alas, I can only give you one.
    The elegance in your last line will with stay with me until the end of time.
    “When it is darkest, you can see the stars!”
    Then you will find the brightest light in your heart!
    ~XXX Love, Hugs, Kisses, to you & your family, & everybody you love, Namaste Blessed Be Sharron~

    Edited on Mar 16, 2:33 p.m. because ''.


  • Cat gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    He whispers to me from the skies afar --
    “When it is darkest, you can see the stars!”

    Awe inspiring.

    M


  • p b without the j
    March 16, 2005
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    wow...
    AMAZING!!!
    This form of writing is simply exquisite, and it flows both melodicaly and verbaly with your words...
    the emotion is clearly there along with the steady, rhythmic beat of this poem's SOUL...superb!!
    (if you read between the lines...i said amazing job... )
    seriously...i'm speechless...
    i bow before your poetic masterfulness...


  • masterblaster gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    This left me sitting in frount of my computer hust staring at the screen,so beautiful but so tragic, I just don't know what to say, I am very sorry for the loss of your brother, this is a wonderful dedication, hugs Di,
    Edited on Mar 16, 2:02 p.m. because ''.


  • kjd
    March 16, 2005
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    EXCELLENCE!

    Heartbreaking! Powerful! Beautifully rendered!


  • CarterTachikawa
    March 16, 2005
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    Just a wonderful poem for a poor young man murdered because of his sexual preferance. It was senseless, pointless, and just plain wrong. It's full of pain and sadness yet it has such a good deal of hope and happiness in it. Just lots of beautiful words. Very well done. Keep on writing. And good luck!

    ~CT

  • lordoftherings gold member
    March 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hugh: Thank you for your sharp eye in grammatical errors that slip by me all the time from fatigue. Although Matthew Shepard was not a personal friend of mine, his senseless murder by two homophobic men in Wyoming hit me because I myself was raised in rural Canada where incidents of this nature are not uncommon, but seldom hit international news like Matthew's did. The story was that Matthew had left home to go to another state to attend college, while there, he came across two men in a bar and a flirtiest game happened between the three of them while playing pool. After the game, the three men left the bar, the next morning Matthew was discovered tied to a fence, naked, his head beaten so badly that -- while I won't write it here, check the website on those details -- and for five days, the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Trans-gendered communities prayed and waited for good news, but unfortunately Matthew died. I myself have been gay-bashed but not to this extent of a beating and when the news hit the waves, I waited in pain like the rest of the world. Gregg
    Edited on Mar 16, 1:36 p.m. because ''.


  • hugh wyles silver member
    March 16, 2005
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    Dear Gregg,
    This is another fine Sonnaiku of which, because of its spiritual and valedictory nature I will not be so base as to comment on slight breaches of Sonnaiku rules. I feel however that the typo "unlevelled" which, surely should read "unlevened" (pertaining to The Bread) needs your further attention.
    I was not, of course, acquainted with your deceased friend but
    commend you for writing this memorial which I applaud.
    Wishing you best of luck in the contest, sincerely, Hugh.


  • cutiepie gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    Excellent

    Hi Gregg, well once again you have mastered the universe with this new form....You have a natural instinct to use the right words to fit this tragic loss....strong without being intense and sterile....warm and loving... I especially loved the final stanza and the words "He whispers to me from the skies afar --
    “When it is darkest, you can see the stars!”...leaves the reader understanding how true friendship never ends... Excellent


  • DelWarrenLivingston silver member
    March 16, 2005
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    Hello Gregg,
    Having never read the information you provide with links, I still come away from reading this Sonnaiku with an understanding of the pain and sorrow felt at your friend's passing. There seemed to be a very subtle hint of defiance at the "media" for their slant of the news of Matthew's death which I don't fully understand.

    This is well written and captivating and I applaude and wish you best of luck in the contest.

    Del

  • Vialokin
    March 16, 2005
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    A very noce tribute!


  • crystaldust gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    crystaldust 15-03-05 14:39
    I think you've just about reached perfection in this sonnaiku form, lordofthe rings, and it feels so right for the tragedy it guards so carefuly. This deserves a win, so I hope you get it. I can't say I like this, because the emotions goes far deep simply to be liked. But I hope you can read my meaning here.


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    March 16, 2005
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    I just learned another form. This one is like most of your writings, mathametically artistic. Language art is so enticing with clarity. Excellent!

    I like it and want to try more structured forms again soon. Perhaps I'll know where to come.

    In form, content, and illustration, along with the contest criteria, it stands out in my opinion.

    Made my heart bleed. oh, my.

    Thank you! Warmly, CookieZeal


  • senza
    March 16, 2005
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    great piece, cool style
    Wellwritten and cool pic!
    Lady anairO


  • jxtxdx
    March 16, 2005
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    such an incredible poem! so worth applauding!


  • wishintreeUK
    March 16, 2005
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    An Excellent piece of work!

    Gregg, I am sorry, I clicked onto this to read and comment as soon as I saw it, however, I hadn't logged on, so feel I have used your points here, so now I shall try and do it the right way!

    Your work is always deep, yet at the same time, it draws your reader into its very core which enables one to really see what is coming from that wonderful heart of yours! I do believe that if one ponders and chews over what one reads, we are then able to get the full, deeper meaning behind what has been written somehow.

    This reads to me personally, as something that has spiritual overtones ... the Gregorian sonnaiku has enabled you to present this piece in such a way as to give it a classical feel, a richness that goes way beyond the norm!

    An excellent piece of work Gregg

    as always, it stands proud on its own merits, the hallmark of your work.

    Well Done!

    ~Katie~

    ps I do hope you had a wonderful weekend as you celebrated your Birthday, bless you my dear friend

    ~Katie~


  • benik
    March 16, 2005
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    very well written! great write and wonderful imagery! impressive at the least... just... great


  • Saint Jai
    March 16, 2005
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    An excellent tribute, well written in a form I am unfamiliar with (though it is very much original and interesting). Well done.


  • Quill
    March 16, 2005
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    greetings once more , sorry to bother you again but read the last couple of reviews of the ballad of the highway am i really that bad , or am i casting pearls before swine to coin a phrase

  • Alice In Wonderland
    March 16, 2005
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    kewl

  • invested
    March 16, 2005
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    One of the things that has always amazed me when I read your poetry since the first poem I read of yours to this one I just read right here and now is how well you can pull off an extremely tightly structured poem without it seeming at all forced and also putting down more emotion than I think I could find myself doing in a unstructured one.
    Every word of this was to treasure, every bit pouring with imagery and emotion.

  • Quill
    March 16, 2005
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    where to start ? lavish images portrayed with great humility ,i tried to write a wordy review dont have the vocab . so i will just say amazing writing , once more another stunner mate , all the best to you Craig , would you read mine the ballad of the highway . ithink you may like it , if not tell me anyway .


  • Shamisen
    March 16, 2005
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    What a wonderful piece of writing - very unusual in its form and very memorable in its exquisite imagery.

  • lordoftherings gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    ficklefeather: Actually to be honest, I did misspell the word and never noticed it because neither of my spell checks caught it. But I like the pun and maybe would leave it in since leaving the Church altered my/(his) life. Gregg
    Edited on Mar 16, 2:20 because ''.


  • Dishy
    March 16, 2005
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    Sad but excellent


  • ficklefeather
    March 16, 2005
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    Unless you've planted a pun in "As I kneel in golden alter boy’s gown." perhaps you meant altar?
    And, hey! "“Words flow like wine from badly broken glass” --" There's that line I love! Coolness, finally seen it in action again. I like both version; wind and wine, do fine, for me and the imagery of broken glass only made it better. The end is a blast. It's like the whisper of rain clouds, filtering the voice of God. Excellent read, this was. Pen on, poet!

1 - 39 of 39