fickle - winded day,
every cherry blossom fell
for you - - when I did.
Author notes
Written March 16th, 2005
A contest entry
- Make Me A Metaphor by golden uncertainty.
300 points, ended March 18, 2005, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I liked this muchly
a very lyrical piece, great format- gently sloping lines give a drift to the words, like the blossom. and I loved the use of the word 'fickle'- it gave this piece real power, even with such a short write. anyway- great!
-
Yes, a very good haiku indeed - I particularly liked the very last line, which seemed hesitant and drifting; a contrast to 'falling in love' but rather being a little cautious. A lovely write.
-
i like it. i agree with the rest, very nicely done. have no critique. good luck in the contest. enjoyed.
Blu -
Very economic. That's what I like about haikus--you're given the ability to express feelings in such a little and defined space, and you did. Nice structure too; it adds a little emphasis to the poem as a whole. Good job.
-
Quite clever and concise - I suspect this took longer to work out than most haiku(s). And is there an "s" in the plural, will someone tell me please!
-
Excellent Haiku!
Wonderfully expressed in so few words!
I like how you shifted your lines, it caused the sense to see the blossom falling gently down, Very nicely done
Good luck in the contest! blessings, Sandi -
Short and Sweet! I like these short poems that people seem to be writing. They are very good at conveying a message and this one is very nice!!! Reminds me of autumn...
Ash
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
