I love the night
Quiet and calm
Moon, stars shine bright
To heart, a balm
Quiet and calm
Day's bustle through
To heart, a balm
With thoughts anew
Day's bustle through
Soon I will sleep
With thoughts anew
In dreams quite deep
Soon I will sleep
Moon, stars shine bright
In dreams quite deep
I love the night,
Author notes
Written March 15th, 2005.Billbard.
In a list
A contest entry
- Pantoum by Lj-.
370 points, ended August 7, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Pantoum Challenge by Denierim.
2000 points, ended September 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open Form Contest for Amera's Birthday! by PerVirtuous.
600 points, ended December 3, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Villanelles, sonnets and pantoums only by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended April 23, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Night Poems by Mercury Rising.
850 points, ended June 21, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie # 26 of 37! More Prewrites Please! Help me pass the time! by Beautiful-N-Broken.
460 points, ended November 21, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Oh wow, I really like this, don't see this form very often in my contest and I'm not sure I could write in this form lol but I really love this write. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
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A very neat and tidy little pantoum that was very well packaged and presented, and was a pleasure to read. Best of luck in my contest.
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This is a happy little poem ...
and I laughed reading it. I would put a comma after heart though. The line doesn't sound right when read aloud without the comma.
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wow....
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Well done! I love the Pantoum and this one is light and refreshing.
Love,
Amera♥
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Very simple and sweet. This is the first Pantoum I've ever read. I should like to try one soon. Best of luck to you...
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Good Write
I love to go on evening stolls. It is so quite and peaceful. I love this poem. You missed the comma in the third line, first verse. Otherwise, very good. Keep up the good work.
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I don't think I've ever read a pantoum with such short lines as this one, (nothing wrong with that, just unusual). It has a very soothing subject and captures the reader in the mood nicely.
Good piece Bill.
Andrew -
This was really a bautiful piece with a gentle athmosphere to it. It's like reading a soft lullaby in a way, soothing you to a new world. I especially liked the very last stanza that wraps it all up very well. I love the night so of course this stouched me in a way.
The only real flaw that I could find was the you missed the "," at the first "Moon stars shine bright" sentence. Other than that this is a beautiful piece that would work well in many occasions. Wonderful with this one!
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I like the atmosphere.
Favorite stanza:
"Day's bustle through
Soon I will sleep
With thoughts anew
In dreams quite deep"
Thanks for entering,
Good luck. -
Again ... very beautiful ... You are very good at this ... You are a very talented poet ... and should be recognized for your writes ... you show emotion, and love, into your poetry ... and I am happy to have read it ... I will be looking forward to more of your writes ... very beautifully penned ... Good luck in the contest ...
Much Luv
Sparkeh
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Beautiful poem with layers and layers of meaning. You are an excellent poet! Thank you for sending the link. Emotional response to this poem is a deep restful feeling. (I love it when the computer tells me what to do.
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gorgeous
Happy, gentle and ultimately uplifting. Lovely -
Pretty good.
Very interesting. The poem really brings you into itself. The ryhming all the time has a flaw or two, though. -
Feels like me right now, this poem is really singing me to sleep.
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Different soft, but just different
Were you on a subway or a road with bumps can feel them like riding in the back of the car on a trip when I was young. That clackety clack like a soft train comes thru. It's comforting. -
I love the repititions in this! It adds to the musical effect of this poem and the feeling of a lullabye. I wish the world could sleep this way, in peace.
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this is fantastic. i really really enjoyed the form of the piece (i shall have to look it up and try it myself). the way this read, was just amazing. amazing descriptions here. an incredibly beautiful write. keep up the wonderful work. this was a pleasure to read. thank you so much for entering, and best of luck in the contest <3
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what a beautiful description
I loved it
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