What am I supposed to do?

I’m lost in a world unfamiliar to me.
A witness to things that I’d rather not see.
How did I end up here?
What do I really have to fear?
I’ll never know unless I push ahead.
And force myself to walk a few steps farther.
The prize masks the risk of falling even harder.
I have so many things I need to say.
When it comes down to it I draw a blank.
I forget everything that I needed to say.
I don’t know everything and I’m struggling.
Why does it have to be this way?
Please stay to help me;
I feel more alone now than I’ve ever been and no one sees.
Everyday I pray that I’ll wake up and it will be a dream.
I can’t talk about it ‘because there are no words.
I’ve tried to say this but nothing I do works.
Tunnel vision is clouding my escape.
Unwilling to admit that I need anyone else.
I don’t want things to change.
I wish I felt only an obligation to myself.
I did what I never intended to do,
I got too close and now I’m paying the price.
This is ending too soon.
Losing my safety net, I don’t want to be here without you.
What will I be coming back to?
An empty space that will never be the same.
I understand you have to go.
I want you to be where you feel most at home.
But I wonder how empty this place will be, without you here to poke fun at me?
I have so many things I need to say.
When it comes down to it I draw a blank.
Up to this point I was able to keep this hidden.
Before you’re gone I just need you to read this.
What is it I’m supposed to do?
Why am I here because I’ve forgotten?
Will it all be over soon?
I’ve never said it before but I need you.
Who will I laugh with and who will I turn to?
Every step forward reminds me of the past.
Nothing lasts.
I am empty and I am deep. I’m sad and I just need you to see