forever makes me cry
as the days leading to it passed so quickly
we were caught in the making
of promises
the only one that really mattered
was the one that fell through
their bitter lies and
words of hate
returned us to
our former place
i doubted for an instant
and in a instant it was gone
i still wonder why you left
was it that forever is too long?
Author notes
please give me an honest comment- i didn't ike this too much, so i swear i won't be offended.
Written March 11th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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i love this poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! forever is just a couple of days. i learned that a loooong time ago
loved this. great work. brilliant! magnificent. i'm running out of words. LoL.
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Well...I'm glad you liked it! I always prefer it when people have the guts to say how they really feel and not dance around the issue, or worse, just flat out feed you lies and false praise. I thought it was supposed to be "fell", but it also could have made sense as "feel" if something had accidentally been left out of the line.
Ugh. It really bothers me when anyone, especially Christians, have that kind of "I'll be praying for you, you poor poor thing" sort of attitude. It can be SO offputting and, in general,...well, I'm gonna be real with you, it just makes me sick. Absolutely out of line. The prevelance of this attitude among some Christians is what often almost keeps me from saying "God bless" (as well as other things) because I really really REALLY don't want to EVER come off sounding like that. You have no idea what a relief it is to hear that I don't. That is not at all what I'm about. Thank you. And the comment was my pleasure.
So...peace to you, take care, and God bless, Sim.
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hi there simbelmyne-
this is such a great comment- and i thank you for it sooo much! very very few people have the balls to give people real comments- by the way, i changed line six, it was supposed to be "fell", but spellcheck didn't catch it... also, thank you for refraining from saying "god bless"- though i have decided i wouldn't really mind it coming from you- at first i wasn't sure what you were talking about not saying, but i remembered. but you are different from most of the people who tell me god bless- they are doing it in ways that correspond to their "praying for me" type things becasue they seem to think i'm horribly condemned for being pagan- you don't seem to be like that, so feel free. anyways, thanks so much for the comment!!!
blessed be
hope -
Honest comment, will do.
I liked this. It wasn't too sappy or weepy or whiney and yet it thrummed with "life" and longing. I'd look back at line 6 if I were you as I'm not quite sure what you meant. I think there's a typo in the line somewhere but I'm not sure where it is. In any event, something doesn't make sense there. All in all, this is a very poignant piece and asks a very haunting (in a good way), thought provoking, and (for me at least) relateable question. Did you leave because forever was too long for you? A way to improve it might be to add to it a little bit. I know I was left wanting more. Anywaaaay, this wasn't all that bad really, and I enjoyed the read.
Keep on, both in life and words. And if I can't say IT, I'll just think it at you instead 
Sorries if I made you uncomfortable. At first I thought I'd just say it anyways, but then I figured that probably wouldn't be too respectful. So although I still wish it for you, in keeping with your request, I won't say it. Now I'm probably just drawing too much attention to it. Ah well, I'm crazy & have the tendency to babble babble babble, so shoot me. Take care & Write on. All the best, Sim. 
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