You flaunt your smug opinion
Like you’re some kinda poetry god.
You think that everyone waits for your next write;
Your intellect is so broad.
You think your insight runs so deep,
But you wear a thin façade.
And foolish girls hoped that you'd write about them,
You’d write about them, and…
You're so vain,
You probably think this poem is about you.
You're so vain (You’re so vain)
I'll bet you think this poem is about you.
Don't you? Don't you?
You’ve written oh so many poems,
Prolificacy, indeed.
Well, it’s obvious from your illiterate verse
That you write more than you read.
Must have thrown away your thesaurus
And your dictionary.
Can’t spare the time to check grammar or spelling,
Grammar or spelling, and…
You're so vain,
You probably think this poem is about you.
You're so vain (You’re so vain)
I'll bet you think this poem is about you.
Don't you? Don't you?
I guess you must think that vulgar means witty,
Vulgar means witty, and…
You're so vain,
You probably think this poem is about you.
You're so vain (You’re so vain)
I'll bet you think this poem is about you.
Don't you? Don't you?
Well, I read you were planning on ending it all
Debating ‘tween razor and gun,
But you know if you do it the attention is gone—
With no audience the angst is no fun.
The whole world’s against you all the time
And when it’s not, well then,
Someone made you cry, stole your girl or your boyfriend,
Girl or your boyfriend, and…
You're so vain,
You probably think this poem is about you.
You're so vain (You’re so vain)
I'll bet you think this poem is about you.
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?
You're so vain,
You probably think this poem is about you.
You're so vain,
I'll bet you think this poem is about you…(fade)
Author notes
Apologies to Carly Simon whose original provides the tune...
Written October 12th, 2002
In a list
A contest entry
- Most Trophy Winners or Most People on Favorites Come! by Joe Spencer.
300 points, ended June 23, 2004, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Something Amazing by So Strange.
950 points, ended September 25, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 75 of 75
-
often i've wondered about a nando tater .. it so much reminds me of some new fangled french fries of which are so tasty ..i'm not sure why it's taken me so long to get here ..anyway ..i chose this as my first read because i am an egoic poetry reader making all poems i read about me ..HA! i loved reading this and hummed along all the way through ..
thanks for making me smile on another rainy summer day!
peace, lisa
-
I couldn't help but laugh throughout the reading of this. You have penned such a delightful piece. It's obvious why you have the trophies you have. Great job! Good luck in the contest, even though you may not need it.
-
Very cynical, great blow at those upperclassmen! woot.. very good write, i think we'd all like to rip our so-called better's throats out sometimes (or always) hhehhe
-rik -
I thought this was really good, a good idea to do a parody on the song. Really liked it, great words and style
-
He he he now this one really rips the vain class! EXCELLENT!
~The Enigma Of Life~ -
It wasn't until I got the the "chorus" that I realized the title wasn't just a joke but was reflecting on the actual poem, a parody of Carly Simon's song. I love the song, and this poem is just too darn clever for anyone's good (meaning that I think it's super
. I could hear Carly's voice singing it in my head, which I think is a good thing, although it could just be my dementia acting up again 
-
congratulations on the win this is a great poem! I was humming the entire time
-
Congratulations on the trophy
Well deserved
Kat
-
LOL
I actually had the song going through my head while reading this.
I very well written piece... Good luck in the contest
Natalia -
I love it! I'm a fan of this song, and played it while I was reading it and I could sing
yeay you rock for making the nicest parody ever 
you're so vain, you probably think this comment's about you, don't you? don't you?
-
hehehehe I'll bet even Carly Simon herself would get a kick out of this one.
-
Congrats! Well done! Aimee xo
-
OMG this is awesome! I love it! Thanks so much for entering
Becca -
Nice work..is it nin starf*ckers???well i think its a nice write!!!
-
Haha you got to love it-- you keep on surprising me, basically when I have finished my homework and I jump on the allpoetry site, first I check my messages then I start reading your poems because they are so much fun to read. Are you teaching any classes soon? keep on writing (please!) allie
-
well, i really liked this...i thought it was funny and could go for a lot of the poets on this site...unfortunately the only part of the actual Carly Simon song I know is the chorus...so that's the only part i could actually hum in my head, but it was still good. good luck in the contest.
-
i like this!...not gonna say much cause dont wanna give anything away...thanks for entering!
Good Luck!
~BRITT~ -
It seems a terrible shame that all these golden goodies sit unread and gathering cyber dust… contests are one way but you could just re-post some for the newer and even the lazy older – fans… perhaps with new improved backgrounds - lol
-
Since there’s a Tater famine – on the other side of the sea,
I thought I come and have a read of these that you set free,
I love the poems that what you writ, and in the way you rut them,
But also am amused by those that have abut them,
Did they think you’d missed the jokes – they point them out to you?
Perhaps you only wrote them… and never read them through?
-
neutral
These words would go great in a song...Duh nuh nuh YOU'RE SO VAIN duh nuh nuh duh! hehe awesome stuff
~Amanda~ -
neutral
Bloody marvellous LOL ... loved it x -
don't touch it!
This is the second poem I read from you. You're good at it. Keep going!
Love~ Tasha -
neutral
wow that first is mirror image like to me. insulting in a way but at the same time it turns into advice. stop bein stuborn. you sound older than a teenager mainly because of yer message. but then it proves a point. but i write a bunch of stuff i dont expect it to be profound i just write.
Edited by Afterglow611 on Nov 13. -
excellent
Know the song well, you do have a lot of reads
I enjoy reading your work, -
don't touch it!
It must be gratifying to post your poems here,
And get all these lovely comments from the poets, oh so dear,
And just in case you missed it, as you crafted hard and fine,
They will gladly explain to you, the irony of your line.
And all the time you had it in your head… the sad and bitter thought, that irony was dead. -
don't touch it!
nine inch nails!! :) funky poem by the way ;) -
don't touch it!
It sounds much like me...though I doubt it was targeted at me...since you no doubt have no clue who I am...anyway...great write, Nando. -
don't touch it!
Excellent poem....I always did like that song. Your poem reminds me of someone I know!!
Angelwolf -
neutral
I'm sorry I didn't mean too. I think this poem is about me. See, you involved your audience. good Job!
****lisa**** -
excellent
the masters pen has struck yet again...
and i know who this is about too.
;-} -
excellent
LMAO.....and I thought no one noticed? Enjoyed the great insight into the poetic psyche of so many writers, and appreciate my portrait being placed on exhibit...
BRAVO!!! -
don't touch it!
Too much, too good, too true. There are a lot of 'poetry' pumps around pumping out 'poetry pittances' Bravo -
excellent
Ex-cel-lent. ;) -
neutral
That was absolutely excellent! (Tho now I'm going to have that tune in my head for the rest of the day...with *your* lyrics!) -
neutral
oh, now you went and added a killer pic to it too. :) -
excellent
thought I'd check you out my mother jay b told me about your work and she really likes your poetry
I can see why really enjoyed reading this
im new to writing poetry and dont really write an alot but enjoy reading other peoples work
thanks
steve...... -
neutral
Oh Nando you are the living end - chuckle chuckle chuckle. Like the poem - actually I'm a total bitch so I loved it, even though I could turn around and say this is very cruel hearted of you - but who cares. Very refreshing read for me at the mo seeing as I'm dead tired. :) -
don't touch it!
hehe. I like this. i like it a lot -
neutral
A great thought provokor. best I have read on AP so far -
neutral
i bet you think this song is about you ...dont you.....dont you...dont you...starfuckers!!!!!
actually theres nothing wrong with this really on a literal level(whatever personal refrences to this is none of my buisness) i was just referring to the phrase 'i bet you think this song is about you' ive heard before recently in a nine inch nails song called 'starf*ckers'
Edited by Afterglow611 on Oct 15. -
don't touch it!
heh, i'm so vain, i thought this poem was about me.
seriously, this was great! i know so many of these poets here, and a few of them fit that description to a t. i think sometimes we all may fall in that category.
and thanks for getting that damn song stuck in my head! lol
;)
J -
don't touch it!
hehehe this is excellent Nando!!!
Nice comment Dee hehe...
Keep it up,
Maru -
neutral
Excellent paraday of one of my favourite songs and a wake up call to us all Excellent -
don't touch it!
I think you have a song in the works. Seriously though great poem. And kindof ironic too. Angst vs. Angst. *chuckle* You obiously didn't throw out your dictionary and thesaurus. ;)
Dave -
neutral
lol well this has a melody! Hey I have written a few hit him or her over the head poems myself at times. This is funny but kind of sad too. Well hope you got it out of your system? ;)
Red -
don't touch it!
ROFLMAO
I needed this tonight
Love Carly Simon
Come see me wont you new ones up
Blessings
Susan~~ -
excellent
Eek, my conscience! *runs away and hides* Quite a stinging, yet amusing write you have here. How very clever of you to summon guilt trips on us all with your poetic justice. Carly Simon would be proud. And to onlyme that commented about your poem being 'not right'... er, I'd say he/she needs to discover just who you are talking about before he/she makes criticism like that. I've seen far worse slander on this site and it wasn't done in any constructive way. At least when you bash someone, you have the poetic flare to do it with. Keep it up. The poetry, I mean, not the bashing.
Edited by Ocean Fever Fae on Oct 14 because 'It's almost two in the morning, what's your excuse?'. -
neutral
I found this quite amusing. However, for all I know, it's the non-sleeping factor. I doubt it, but hey. -yawns....ahem...yes yes, great amusingful poem... -
don't touch it!
Wow Mr. Tater sir, look at that score rise! Vanity or sex, insult or titillation – gets them every time! (I think this one is going to get into the record books – Poets’ Platinum Plaque!) -
don't touch it!
hahahaha well you certainly put the cat amongst the pigeons,great way to get a poem noticed,clever lol....Regards Janet -
don't touch it!
Okay everyone..the secret's out!
Nando, you've given new meaning to the word vanity...and I love that someone finally recognises my poetry...thank you, thank you. I wish I had more time to comment on other poets work but by the time I finish reading my own over and over..because it IS SOOOO good...there just isn't enough time in the day to read and/or comment much on anyone elses, and since none of it stacks up to MY work anyway, why waste my time.
And as for Carly and Warren... well, they had to be inspired by SOMEONE ...might as well be me...what can I say, some of us have it some of us don't.
Lol... this poem is too funny, Nando ..I simply MUST somehow fit a read or two of your work into my week...watch for me :)
What a poem to wake up to, I'm still laughing from it and the comments are priceless ....I just read MINE over again ...I'm soooo good.. and I KNOW this poem is about me.
Gee, it's hard to stop taking bows but I must. (my back is startng to hurt)
Cool work, Nando, love it. (And we wont tell Carly what you did)
Dee -
don't touch it!
Hahahaha. Great one Nando. Superb. It's so good that this is all I can say and probably won't even get a lousy two points for this. Some poems are so good, like this one, that only one word needs to be said like fanfuckingtastic. Desiree ;) -
neutral
um.. I kind of wonder who this is about. I would hope it's not about any of the poet of AP, but somehow I do believe it is. Not cool Nando. It's not right to bash other poets..
Regardless of my views on the meaning of this poem, I do find it to be well thought out and very creative. It was a good write, aside from the fact that it's not right..
-onlyme -
don't touch it!
Oh, this is too funny! I love this song, and your words fit it brilliantly. I know this poem is not about me........*scroll up...read it again.....* Uh, nope....not about me. Interesting spin on a classic. :) -
don't touch it!
...hmmm my Grandad used to keep a picture of Carly Simon next to his bed
My Grandmas hated her.
Damn good poem sir - who's it about?????????????? -
excellent
Well, well. I totally agree that a writer damn well better read more than he/she writes. However, though this is cute and everything, it seems rather unlike you, Mr. Tater! Or am I being naiive? Heh. Bye the way, I commented on myself and got two points???! -
neutral
LOL, this is quite excellent. I've never read anything by you so barbed, it's a rather pleasant surprise. I think in a sense this some of the best humour possible, as it seems to appeal across ALL tastes, including my somewhat masochistic leanings. Very well done, sir.
NWC -
excellent
hmm interesting take on the song....with a little venom put into it...little jab here...little smack there...noone needs to know who its about...as long as it helped you get your feelings out...but i'm sure alot of us can identify.... -
don't touch it!
HAHAHAHA OMG!!!!! Too good Tater!!! Uhm, yeah as Maureen said a few names came to mind!!! ROFLMAO!!! -
excellent
One name came to mind when I read this song which is oh so fine!!! I love poems that are written to the music of a well-known song. Was this written for sunshinejls's challenge? I was thinking of entering but now I think I won't! ;-)
Edited by Maureen on right now. -
don't touch it!
Carly Simon would be proud of this, I have no idea who this is written about which makes this all the more mythical. Whoever it is, ha-ha.
Superb. Nick -
don't touch it!
Oh my dear King Nando – this is worth a grand or…
Even much, much more, for with this little rhyme,
You have the poets fine, all shouting – “No no it’s mine!”
“It’s me his slagging off!” All eagerly pursuing,
The poor beastly yoke – the butt of Nando’s joke.
But still I have to say the parody is gay – no not like that, but gay the other way!
Accelerant! -
excellent
Does Carly know about this? Excellent write, this poem IS about me, I know it is... Anyway, I enjoyed it, even tried to sing it, if you can imagine that...
Mike -
neutral
ROFLMAO .. this isn't about me, is it?
Got me curious about who it's about .. but .. I'll forget in five minutes anyway .. and, of course, you shouldn't mention specific names.
But now you have that damn song stuck in my head. -
don't touch it!
ooohh this was great fun to read LOL -
don't touch it!
Nando, this is absolutely poet-inspired ...uh *Wary whispers*.... IS this poem about me??? Naaaahhhh...couldn't be, because everyone really does wait for my next write, but then again,....why would you write about any one else??? MyMy...what a quandry you've put me in today by your words! *grin* m -
excellent
brilliant poem, but i hate Carly Simon and now you have put her in my head! oh dear i'm not sure if i have 100 characters, so i'll witter a bit, witter, witter, witter..lol
Barbsxxx -
don't touch it!
Well the song was written for Warren Beatty ..several erm' years ago...lol.. So is this for a man on here ..lmao... go on Nando fess up..who you having a stab at??? lol... loved this..very clever...~~~GILL~~~~ -
don't touch it!
good take on that song...i'm better off not knowing who this is about...this was really good though. -
neutral
Um, am I the only geek thinking this is a cut at some poet online? Or am I just being a nerd? As per critical comments, all I can say is that I'm so anal-retentive when it comes to line/verse/melody, that I keep getting Carly's lyrics screwed up in my head when I try to sing these words along with 'em. --jareth -
excellent
this is brilliant nando
<------ is wondering who its about because she doesnt see 'fiction' anywhere
just kidding
Lisa x -
excellent
hahaha Well done :) This would make a good song. :D -Brandon -
don't touch it!
LMAO!! What an excellent write. (Hey Z, i wouldn't laugh so hard i think he means you!ROTFLMAO!!!)So Funny. :) -
don't touch it!
Perfect and timely prose!
I'm no prophet; I don't know Tater's ways.
Carly never chose to reveal her secret.
Only the shadow of Nando knows!
RR -
don't touch it!
hahahaha, fuckin brilliant!!!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 75 of 75
1 old applause
