Hot tar roofing all summer long
I can't think of a better reason to get high
Other than rain, and maybe crabs.
And Jena strips at three great joints
But really only loves me -- Lives in a mansion
In the worst part of town, with ten other girls.
Like a pot-hole blasting your hot fix to window
Or maybe getting a winning lotto -- Blow-jobs so surreal,
I can't remember a thing, but dyed bangs, and sirens.
I collected plants, and fish, still do. Cactus and ferns, Oscars
And Catfish -- Women love that shit, and I know why, because
It hurts to be alone, and I need a jungle of it.
Nothing to eat in the fridge, but a keg of skunked draft
And a giant slice of grandma's bananna cream pie
And from my balcony? Drunk singing Polocks on the walk.
Hamtramck has more bars per-square mile
Than Detroit has smoke stacks, and vacants
Tonight I own the world, so everything's easy.
Not because I'm a genius, or in a pancho
With hair down to my ass, but rather because
Everyone called me Jesus, and thinking back, I was
Quite possibly head over heels for this world,
But now I am Dead, right through the mirror
Looking back on childhood, and lighter times.
Author notes
Written March 10th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- The Rising Damp Review by noel lovett.
400 points, ended April 8, 2005, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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heh then id prolly shoot myself ^_^
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What if a wrote a poem about a magical talking fire hose from Uranus?
And added a bunch of stupid happy faces and frowny faces to expose the fact that I'm 13 and practically brain dead. -
Fantastic. I would lose the last couplet- it seems weepy and a bit cliche. Other than that you had striking imagery set into a tone that made me feel as if I were living that moment, rather than looking back at you. Brisk and at sometimes, borderline impromptu- none of that gushy nostalgia... you read this with a smirk rather than a sigh... and that's how a poem like this should be read.
Am bookmarking it now!
-Max -
eh not really my type... didnt enjoy it much sorry =/
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brilliant.
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I think a lot of poets on this site try to emulate Bukowski, and figure that it must be easy to do so long as you resort to alocohol or drugs (or both), sex, and repugant imagery -- particularly of Southern California. Truth is, it's not that simple. You have element of all those qualities, but never wander into the downward spiral of pedanticism. The first stanza in particular is a perfect tribute to Bukowski. The last is as well. Yet, notwithstanding the contest rules and the tribute requirement, this is simply a very, very fine poem in its own right. While the words are over-used (including by me), I mean it when I say "great job."
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I would never dye my bangs.
I liked the 2 ending stanzas best.
'Hamtramck has more bars per-square mile
Than Detroit has smoke stacks, and vacants
Tonight I own the world, and everything's easy.'
I actually enjoyed this one.
Edited on Mar 12, 9:34 because '.'. -
Your fridge sounds about like mine most of the time
I especially like the last stanza of this piece. The looking glass of life, where did we go, why?
An excellent write, Jer.
In the line 'I collected plants and fish and still due' ....should that be 'do' instead of 'due' ...with you, one never knows ...
Anyhow, I really enjoyed this very cool write
Dee
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I like this poem, even though it is not the type I prefer to read. I like how you made the life of the speaker seem so crazy through all the things that were going on. Overall a good job.
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Didn't really understand this one...but I didn't want to waist your points so I wanted to go a head and leave a comment. Good read, even though I didn't get it LOL
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hmmmm this is an interesting write you have with a tiny hint of humor in it but thats just me anyways. good luck, great write and all the best to you
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I don't know this particular writer, but I still found myself very impressed by your poem - I found it a refreshingly wonderful piece of work.
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Getting drunk and high bores me.
Let alone writing about it. -
OP has 147 pf his poem posted and the one he is most famous for is not there. LOL "so you want to be a writer" LOL
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Wh do ya hate him? I think he is so damn blunt it's hilarious! LOL
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I hate Bukowski, but he was one of my teachers at the Baroque in Venice.
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Needless to say my friend, you alread write like Master Bukowski! LOL This is no different than your usual poetic genius. And may I ask, which of his works inspired this? I would love to read it! Although you may have just sat down and scribed this surralistic work of word art without even a glance at his words, then again, you may have already been following him...LOL Whatever the case this is superb! Love the sentiments and emotions. Good luck to you in the challenge.
Renee
♥
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