Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Far From Hypnotic

Four solid walls
Closing
Confining
Keeping me in

Droning voice
Talking of things
Which I do not care
Names and Dates
From time now gone

But soon
The walls will burst
I will be free
Free to spread my wings
At least my arms
And quit this place
For now at least

And yet I will return
To be caged once more
By four closed walls
And a droning voice
So far from hypnotic

Author notes


Written March 10th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Prism
    April 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    isn't this what happens to people when they've been trapped so long (literally or even metaphorically). then they can't handle the freedom, glorious freedom...


  • Red Death
    January 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    He he, I like that last comment. Now that I think of it I definitly picture a history class, especially in the second verse where it's talking about names and dates of the past. I'm not really sure that that was the aim of this piece that you were looking for but it seems like you might have been. Another great poem by you, keep it up.

  • wlundin3
    January 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    clucking like a chicken

    Makes me think of high school history class, and the longing to be outside, anywhere else. Enjoyable, thanks


  • Babygirl4ever
    September 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    extraordinary

    Nice write!


  • DefinitiveFreak silver member
    March 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I agree with All washed up. This is rather hypnotic. I like it Heather. Sometimes I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I don't like claustrophobia.


  • All washed up
    March 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this... the name may be far from hypnotic.. but i think the poem was just the opposite.. wonderful wonderful...


  • Walking Wounded
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Good job with this, sis, as always...you should really write more, guess you're not inspired, though...I love the description in this, it was great...good job with this, sis.
    Chainwall

1 - 7 of 7