Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Forestarol Forty-Fifth (Italian Sonnet)

Missing image
by ~Gregg Rowe~

A stage of pension, I am -- not passion --
Where hosts appear in dreams that I have died.
Of earth-shaped tears -- red ribbons -- I have cried,
With days of cov'ring your heart was -- "fashion".
Today my life perpediction --
Where ev'ry day its my turn to survive;
I see my Garden -- it is so alive!
Where roses grow in my jubilation --

Today -- I relax -- look after myself --
After days of screaming, bury my fears;
I become in ghetto, AIDS...very -- stiff --
My heritage is stopped -- my side -- no Celts
My legacy is left throughout these years
Today -- it's forestarol forty-fifth.


Author notes

Forestarol -- is a word that was devised last night amongst my friends while we were trying to come up with a title for the poem while celebrating my forty-fifth birthday this week-end.

Perpediction :  Another one of those new words we devised which means perpendicular and diction combined.

Written March 12th, 2005

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • pozo
    March 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I thought you were turning 42?
    Oh well Good write, happy birthday- this was such an excellent and well written poem speaking well of your life Keep writing and thanks for commenting on my poem
    All the best,
    Pozo

  • listen
    March 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    neat poem and cool new words.HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!


  • SerenityNChains gold member
    March 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    First let me say happy birthday to a fellow piscean. My birthday is in two days. As for this write it was done flawlessly. Perfect as always. You are not just a great writer, you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing such beauty, and may this birthday and the many that follow find you smiling my friend.

    Blessed be

    ~~Serenity~~
    Billie Jean


  • angelica silver member
    March 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    That's right, it's your Birthday on the 14th, the day after my Son Michaels..hmmmm 45 well my friend 20 years ago you didn't think you'd be here to see your 45th, but you did and you will still be here to see your 50th, hopefully your 60th, why stop at that! you have many many years to go my dear Brother
    they can't stop you sweetie I wouldn't let them anyway, have already told them that . Wonderful write and a great new word~Lovesya~Joan

  • Frost Bit Rose
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hunny this is agian the best poem!!!!!!


  • hugh wyles silver member
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Gregg,
    The poem is good, the meaning's sound
    but now you're forty-five,
    let's get your meter off the ground
    to show that you're alive.

    Italian Sonnets run, you know,
    in iambic pentameter
    which gives a smooth Sicilian flow
    avoiding rough calameter.

    And, though the sentiments expressed
    by you are short and sweet,
    wrong syllables are sometimes stressed
    with wrong iambic feet.
    ~~~
    But if you didn't call it an Italian Sonnet, but a Gregorian Sonnet, you'd get away with it. Applause. Regards, Hugh.


    Edited on Mar 10, 3:22 p.m. because ''.


  • lordoftherings gold member
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ghostly Whisper: in answer to your question th use of a double (--) purpose from the author to the reader is for you to pause longer than usual whenyou see that to let the words mature in the mind before moving on. Or a double censura is what it is technically called. Gregg


  • wayward cry
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Nice words! I was a little bit confused when I saw them...the explanation really helped...oh--by the way: Happy birthday!<--I mean it, even if it is belated...well anyway...I really liked this poem...it is so different from all of the petrarchan sonnets I've read...good on you!


  • Sandi Alford gold member
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Your octave set up a very understandable situation moving into the middle years...but the sestet left me feeling very sad for you...I hope it's the muse and not a reality. Anyway Happy birthday! and blessings, Sandi


  • AutoPilate
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like the idea of coining words when it would take too many in English to describe something exactly. I also like that you didn't go overboard with it, two well-placed pseudo words for the entire piece. Forestarol, eh? I would've gone with Quadragintaquintal or some such other unwieldy grotesque. I'll stick with yours though.

    Anyway, hope you had a happy birthday, interesting work that was inspired by it.

    Thanks for sharing!

    - The Chatterbox


  • GhostlyWhisper
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great write, didn't understand all of it, but it flowed very well and was beautifully written, great job. (juse ont question, what's with all the "---"?


  • imprisoned
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like the background and everything and I think the wording is good but I don't get it. But I will read it over just to make sure. But good job anyways. Later.


  • KrystleLynn
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem. I didn't get the message, but it was written beautifully! Keep it up!


  • RuthKephart
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Gregg...I'm sure your legacy will far outlive any mortal man. Wonderfully written as always. Best wishes
    Ruth


  • Naphrititi
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    that was a very good poem and i liked it very much. There was a lot of emotion in it and I could see that. Keep up the good work.
    ~Naphrititi~


  • March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Fantawesome.

    The message itself blew over my head. The structure and the over-all flow rocked tho. Then again without the message I sort of feel like I don't no what I'm reading. Just kinda chunks of statements. Some whimsickle, some deep. Good choice with the background too. =P


  • SpLeeNs R YuM
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    I really liked this poem, It seems to change a bit, But it still works really well. It flows really nicely and sets a good atmosphere. Well done!... Probably doesn't mean much coming from a 17 year old when your 45... But Well done anyway.


  • Lapis Lazuli
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I found this poem very enjoyable. You have written it bery well. I like the way you were able to change the mood from sad to happy, but then back to sad again.


  • SilverInk
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Overall I think you did a very good job with the writing of this poem. I like it a lot actually. However, the mood of the poem was kind of thrown off a bit when you wrote in 'it is so alive!'. I don't know, it just seems out of place. Perhaps some rewording of some sort? Ah well, it's up to you. I still think it's a good poem.

1 - 19 of 19