Amelioration
is not good enough
for her.
It's the whole concept
of his vanilla eyesight
and virgin smile
that leads her to
a glittering ambience
of wonder.
What she hasn't found
becomes the
because
of why she paints
her nails
with acrylic
so tears can't smudge.
(The allergic condensation
of today
comes in the form
of your virgin tears.)
Author notes
Written March 8th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow, I didn't know that with the whole flavor thing. But I guess I pretty much nailed the "vanilla eyesight" concept without knowing, didn't I? Lol thanks for the comment
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"vanilla eyesight" what a beautiful concept. haha, my friend did this thing where she surveyed random ppl on their preference of soft serve, then their sexuality. Straight men (gay women) preferred vanilla, straight women (gay men) preferred chocolate, bisexual women preferred swirl. how amazing is that. but yes, vanilla eyesight. lovely indeed, lovely indeed.
you, my dear, are absolutely eventual. -
great!
whoa.. amazing!! this is so great. I don't think I can say anything that hasn't been said before. The flow was great!!
Take Care,
Jasmine
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this is very, very, very nice! I love your word choice, and everything! The flow is great too!
HAPPY EASTER!!
Melissa -
this piecs blew my mind
i love your word usage and the way you played around with them.
this was amazing
"of his vanilla eyesight
and virgin smile
that leads her to
a glittering ambience
of wonder.
What she hasn't found
becomes the
because
of why she paints
her nails
with acrylic
so tears can't smudge."
wow nothing else to say but wow
very well done
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Beautiful. It's simplistic but at the same times says and conveys so much. The imagery is stunning "...she paints her nails with acrylic so tears can't smudge". I love the way you've worded it - it's unusual, but it works brilliantly. It's definitely one of the best things I've read in a long time - well done!
Ali xxx -
Awesome!
Definetly very interesting. I love the ideas, even though I can't grasp some of the concepts, or why you have them.
What she hasn't found
becomes the
because
of why she paints
her nails
with acrylic
so tears can't smudge.
And
The allergic condensation
of today
comes in the form
of your virgin tears.
I don't get them, but I love them very much. Great job.
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This is probably the most interesting poem I've read today. Nice flow, great job!
~Sam~
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Excellent
I like the way this poem flows and I love your word choice (more people should write thoughtfully and intelligently). The images are gorgeous and those alone are enough to convey the emotion of this poem...excellent job with that. The only thing that I would change (and this is just my strange opinion) is I would indent certain lines to accent them...but that might take away from the beautiful simplicity of the emotions. Either way, this is a great poem! -
Very interesting... I'm really not sure what to say about this piece, it has rendered me speechless. So, I will say this. Great job, and keep writing! you've got talent!
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I really like this a lot. But in some ways it's hard for me to understand. I think you did a great job on this though. And I really love the title. Awesome job, keep it up.
Gasoline Kisses -
The word usage is awesome,and despite the poem not being as fluid as most,the meaning is still conveyed.Its so sad,yet so beautiful,and that makes it almost tragic. You poem is wonderful. Keep writing!
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I liked this, it's really original, and its got some original ideas, such as 'vanilla eyesight' and 'virgin smile' as the above comment said. Great job with this
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Very nice poem, but I have to say it would look better if you put the words into stanzas or even just writing it so that the words flowed a little more fluidly.
~Sephy J -
fantastic
hmm... made think (because I'm too stupid to understand the big words,) but once I figured it out, it was fantastic. -
Wow I love how different this was. I really enjoyed the creative details like "vanilla eyesight" and "virgin smile". Very good descriptions and I love how it takes a second to figure out. Great job and much worthy of an applause!
---aimee x -
good
Hmmm... This is different. I don't really understand it, and it's not quite what I was expecting. However, it was different and not what I was expecting. A nice change from the poems that you know everything about before you read them. Nice write. Later days and keep it up!
Hell Angel -
aww its sweet but sad at the same time i like it. i think you did an awesome job congrads keep up the work and keep up the writing i like this poem. XOXO~katie~
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