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Wednesday

Miércoles

Dónde está mi corazón?
No está en el cuerpo.
Saliste con mi amor,
y ahora no tengo nada.
Quiero amar otra vez,
pero me pusiste en una cárccel,
quiero tener una sonrisa otra vez,
pero me dio días de lluvia.
Y tengo miedo de la noche,
cuando sueño de la esperanza,
y tengo miedo de la mañana,
cuando hay un posibilidad de más.
No quiero tener más dolor,
pero quiero algo.
Hoy en mi cocina,
el vapor desde mi té,
me despierta y no quiero temer más,
encuentro mi fuerza.
Dónde está mi corazón?
Está en el cuerpo,
listo empezar de nuevo.

Author notes

um......tell me what you think! please? lol
Written March 8th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • classical beauty
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow brilliant poem, it flows so well i loved it, ur words just string together brilliantly. i love your imagery with the tea i can picture it so well in my head its so vivid in its description. well done and keep on writing xxx


  • Loren
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Wow, I loved the poem and the fact that it was in both languages made it truly unique and amazing. I think it was truly beautiful, it flowed pretty well and it had fantastic emotion in it. I can really relate to it, it's brilliant. I think if it were said in another language it would sound wonderful, as everything always seems to.

    Well done, it was ended in a really great way too. A great write.


  • Eruvande Almare
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Awww, so sad yet full of hope as well. I love the two different languages, it just adds some extra quality to the poem. I love it! Very very well written, keep up the good work.
    ~Eruvande Almare


  • Abscessed
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i loved this new creative way of adding 2 poems in 2 languages and then giving a translation really unique...and it just enhances the beauty of your poem.

    Where is my heart?
    It's in my body,
    ready to start anew.

    wow these lines really showcase your talent on its own....you have wrapped up the poem so well that you just leave the reader in awe
    awesome write


  • Abrielle
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    ee want to read your next poem now...


  • Abrielle
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    fantastic

    i love this. really, not just platitudes....
    reminds me of everything! i like the kitchen setting. i will think more about this poem later this evening, at present i am at work and cannot contemplate the words in any deserving depth. but thankyou...

  • Insanitys Mistress
    March 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i like that you have it in two different languages, thats beautiful. The flow skips a beat here and there but it works well. you played across your emotions well, good job . I'll probably be more inclined to reading more of your work after this piece. i expect it's all just as good if not better keep up the writing!
    *kitty

1 - 7 of 7