1.
soft feet and skin
unblemished
penetrable and vulnerable
an arrow
floats invisibly
omnipotent
in it sweet strained glory
narrow still in the grass
gladly saddened
and destroyed
there is no recompense
there is no decision
in vengeance or peace
by a demon higher and higher
lower and abdominal
the gutteral low growl
of an almost lion
that drips strictly
to every line in an array of color
at stake in blood form
drained to pale drained to that
extremity to the left
temperance to the right
zealous and enticed
in one too many positive engagements
through learned tongue
the de-education society
from youth to the universe
youth is innocence to stray from
whether desired or warranted by those
who too are trapped
a strong pit of pretend
in whirlwind strength
stripping grating slicing making
sure all is whitewashed and cleaned
to abide inside of the state
escape is reality in fantasm world
occupied and the green bar slid snug
there is a must way to win
just no seen in the sky
or in hand
the stars twinkle and we say
oh they twinkle
but how brightly to each of us
Author notes
This poem consists of 20 seperate sections. This is the first section. Let me know what you think. Be honest. I can take the heaviest of criticism. But if you like it, feel free to say that too. 
Written March 7th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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Excellent
Wow, this is very interesting. I truly like the language and the social commentary hidden within this poem. It is so unique in its approach. It is one of those poems that really makes the reader think about what he/she is reading!! Wonderful write!! -
I do like this.I like it a bunch.Your inventive use of language, and nuance give this wing.I find the irreverence, and metaphorical social commentary refresshing, and a bit challenging.This is good work, and unique when that is a difficult ajective to earn.I will spare you a regurgatation of your great lines, and interpretation of the work to the author.
I will applaud, and slink away.
Peace,Rob -
oooooooooooooooh! what a really interesting poem! i really like it alot! i think that the poem flows beautifully and transitons very well. I love the set up for the mood and the atmosphere. You have a great grasp of the language and are very expressive and deep in your writing. The poem is very passionate, descriptive, and just wonderfully written! you have done a spectaculor job! i really look forward to reading more of your work! you have a very unique and different writing style that is unlike anyone else! keep up the great work!
! peace!

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