Too Much time spent on this floor.
Too much time spent crawling for the door.
Bleeding, alone, the pain within.
Staying here is almost a sin.
Kicking, punching, what have I done?
Breathed too loud, spoiled your fun?
What did I do to anger you?
I'm sorry I didn't mean to!
I'm sorry I'm black and blue.
I'm sorry I tried to get up too.
This floor has become my friend.
If I lie still maybe it will all end.
Maybe I'll float away, to a land with no pain.
Or maybe I'll finally go insane.
I'll stand up and fight back.
I'll get up and walk to the door.
Crawling I don't get close.
Crawling it seems so much further.
Stop, Stop, Stop.
Maybe next time I'll stand up.
Maybe next time I'll finally walk out.
Maybe, just maybe there won't be a next time.
Maybe, this time I'll stop crawling.
Author notes
Just wanted to tell you all, Nope it's not a personal experience. I'm too tough for that. But it's how I feel sometimes. Like I am fighting a invisible opponent.
Written March 7th, 2005
A contest entry
- Not for the Faint of Heart by Silhouetted Angel.
300 points, ended May 30, 2005, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Have you ? by aurora13.
520 points, ended November 30, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Strong expressions for the helplessness that perhaps all of us go through at some point of time... Thanks for your entry, Good Luck!
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I agree with Shari. This is a great write for someone who has not gone through this personally. I will also agree with you. Sometimes there comes a point in our lives when we are fighting an invisible opponent. That fight is one that will ultimately take us to where we are meant to be or keep us from it. Thank you for entering this piece.
~Angel
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This is a great write, especially if written from the perspective of one who has never had to suffer such pain
SHari
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wowies.... excellent. this is an AWESOME poem, well worthy of my praise. it has a steady, haunting beat that captures you... overall very well written. *applause*!!
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Abusive relationships seem to be the norm for many people. It isn't right but it happens. Glad you're ok and if I may say, UP! No sense feeling low when it wasn't your fault. Nothing ever is all one persons fault. Nobody is perfect or innocent. WTG!
Kathy
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This how I sometimes feel when I just lie in my freezing bed at night, allowing my mind to drift off to it's own demise, tears always managing to flow down from my eyes. I sometimes wonder why I do that to myself, but rather than question my odd self I just let it go because I'm afraid of the answer I will give.
Alright, now that I'm done digressing, this piece is really powerful in it's own special way. I think many people can relate to this just because of the world we grow up in today. Pain and torturous as our world is, we created it to be this way and I highly doubt that it will ever change because evil has corrupted us to the point where we cannot return unless some miracle happens, a miracle that I'm still searching for. Overall, this piece was mahvleously done dahling.
Sweetest of dreams to you always! ~D~ -
great
fab poem. this is reallty good work ! -
Pug: Good for you. You got up! Maybe only when he left. Point remains. You got up. Many of us stay there on the floor, in our minds. Some of us never get up.
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It is definately a hard hitter, don't that invisible man pack a punch! I must admit it did remind me of the time at school , when a big guy hit me for no reason. I dropped like a sack of shit. It was only when he said he would not hit me while I was on the floor, that I decided to stay there. So in a way as tenuious as it is, I did connect to this.
I still get a bit like it as well. I am phyisically bigger, but my emotions have taken a right old battering. But hey shit happens. By the way if I didn'tsay it I liked your poem. -
I hope this wasn't based on a true experience. I can feel the pain in this, the hopelessness. You don't know what you did wrong and you just want it to end. Great write.
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Wow! Amazing write. Love the repetition of 'crawling'. As someone else said, the main emotion I get out of this is hopelessness. I hope this isn't a personal experience
x Chloe x -
Great!
this is great, the one emotion I really get out of it is helplessness, if thats a word lol I really like it. Great job, thanks for sharing. -
wow
wow very great job very depressing and if this happened to you im sorry keep your head up and keep writing you have great potential -
cruel one!!
but thew style of the poem hits hard esp
stop stop stop
keep going!!
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