It has been thought about many times, my past
I've wondered how change would affect my present
So many things I have wished to become undone
There were things to be forgiven
Things that needed to be forgotten
But how would that affect me now?
I am a changed person, living now
I've come though such "blessed" events in my past
Those things are what I wish to be forgotten
So I can move on truly in the present
But would they be finally forgiven?
And would there be consequences, due to what would be undone?
I fear it would be my happiness that would come undone
I wouldn't be with who I am with now
Those things I went through, they couldn't be forgiven
But they helped me to realise my past
So I was able to continue living in my present
I just wish that all the pain could be forgotten
But I'll tell you what has been forgotten
The possibilities of "what ifs" have come undone
I am settled here, I have accepted my present
There is nothing else to do but live in the now
Because I have done all I can do to change the past
And now it just leaves myself to be forgiven
If I can make that one last step, to be self-forgiven
If I accept what events have passed, all pain will be forgotten
If I can take that step, it will be the end of my tortured past
I wish so much for it all to go, to become undone
And it will be, if I can just be strong now
Because I am here, I am supposed to be in the present
Living in the present
Being completely forgiven
Taking control right now
It will all be forgotten
The chains will come undone
The chains of my past
So here I present myself, one who will not be forgotten
There'll be future acts to be forgiven, but they won't need to be undone
Because I live in the now, not the past
Author notes
Written on 7th March 2005 at 23:03
A sestina
I spent a good few hours on this one... I just hope it's good enough...
This was a discovery in progress. I wanted to write something about myself, and this is what came about. The realisation that I was finally free from what has been tormenting me for years. I have broken the chains that bound me to my past. Once and for all. The chains of past abuse, selfishness, depression. I have broken free.
A fixed form consisting of six 6-line (usually unrhymed) stanzas in which the end words of the first stanza recur as end words of the following five stanzas in a successively rotating order and as the middle and end words of each of the lines of a concluding envoi in the form of a tercet. The usual ending word order for a sestina is as follows:
First stanza, 1- 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6
Second stanza, 6 - 1 - 5 - 2 - 4 - 3
Third stanza, 3 - 6 - 4 - 1 - 2 - 5
Fourth stanza, 5 - 3 - 2 - 6 - 1 - 4
Fifth stanza, 4 - 5 - 1 - 3 - 6 - 2
Sixth stanza, 2 - 4 - 6 - 5 - 3 - 1
Concluding tercet:
middle of first line - 2, end of first line - 5
middle of second line - 4, end of second line - 3
middle if third line - 6, end of third line - 1
In a list
- trophy 1 - gold • next in list
- trophy 2 - silver • next in list
- about my life • next in list
- written for contests • next in list
- survival stories • next in list
- 31-40 • next in list
- rhyme: none • next in list
- form: sestina • next in list
A contest entry
- -Options Contest, Prewrites Allowed- by lysdarling.
300 points, ended June 23, 2006, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Enemy is The Self by grassisgreener.
600 points, ended December 24, 2006, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - French Form Contest by Ontarah.
1100 points, ended March 3, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Journey......... by child of grace.
600 points, ended February 20, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Poetry --- II by rinzurajan.
700 points, ended November 1, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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THANKS FOR THE ENTRY...LOVED THE SELF INTROSPECTION OF YOUR OWN SELF...
WE HARDLY DO IT THROUGH POETRY...BUT ITS COMMENDABLE YOU DID IT...
GOOD LUCK
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i am just now beginning to go through the process of forgiving myself for past mistakes and really moving on. Its not easy, but very rewarding in the end. I think you capture the emotion of it all very well.
Thanks for entering this piece and sharing your story. I hope you get stronger everyday!!!
Cheers,
S -
i'm waiting to get there
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Thank you for your contest submission. Well this is indeed intense. I anm glad to see tha you have let go of the chains you forged, sort of like scrooge, sans the ghosts hehe. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e *
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You reach a self-realization in this poem that does not come often to mankind. We, especially as poets, dwell on our problems because of the tension which they build in us. The only way to transcend the past as it eats away at us is to ACCEPT it. If you cannot change it, you must take it in stride, essentially. So the theme of this poem I find lovely. You may want to rearrange some akward phrasing, such as "become undone," which would sound better as "be undone." I think you could add a bit more imagery and develop this piece into something wonderful. Valient effort at the sestina style, which I have never been able to master, yet.
Thank you for entering
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wow, great sestina. thank you so much for your entry. i really appreciate your hard work
thanks again,
lys -
Thank you for writing this extrodinary write on recovery,
may you always continue on a light filled road.
Love and Light
Tearz -
wonderful job on this sestina! i love it. this is probably only the third one that i've read that i actually.. truly loved reading. it was like.. i was actually reading myself there. i know you wrote it for yourself.. but it seemed like you were looking at me and my life when you were writing this. amazing stuff. i can't wait to read more of your work.
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Not really sure what you mean...
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Been here before, but upon reading it again, I am amazed at how you deciphered all this to have it make so much sense.
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i didnt really understand the meaning of this poem, but i still give you props anyhow. Seems liek a very strong subject for you and i wish you the very best of luck! HOPE YOU GET LOTS OF HITS!!! GOOD LUCK!
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When we can reach a positive area within ourself and discovery it is always a wonderful unveiling this poem is wonderful expressed very well. Thanks for sharing the inner you.
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Congradulations, you've crossed over the line, from "victim" to "survivor," something that not every victim can say. There's a big, exciting world out there, go live in it!
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AWESOME
What an amazing story of HOPE. You have managed to compile every emotion of past present and future and harrness it to your growing advantage.GREAT JOB!!!!!
talaire -
oh my god! so much the way i'm thinking these days and now i dont even feel the need to w write anything,i'm bookmarking this if you dont mind. i'ld like to read more of your writtings, you put this so smoothly.
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Very nice piece - it has such impact with the repetition of "forgiven", "forgotten", "past", "undone", "now", "present", ... a wonderful glimpse into grief ... thanks for sharing this piece.
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Don't know what happend in your past but glad you can realize that you want to move forward. From what has been bothering you. great since of write and good structure in this poem or story
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Quite a process you have gone through to arrive at this conclusion. Does a soul good to clean house once in a while, and dig deep to find what's there. Liked this write!
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This was interesting and quite good. I enjoyed it, self discovery and forgivness, a hard thing to do. Hope you continue on your path and good luck.
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Take an action, any action and to measure its extent would break the balance. See the things already done as done and not tormented sins. You did, what you did, an action measured in its time of being, a good, and a great decision indeed. Great words show your journey, a kindled road with memories, a track of restlessness. But what’s more glorious is the discovery of ones forgiveness, the overseeing end of the fiery whiplash. I can connect with your words of sorrow, and cannot help feeling passionate for a tearing soul, let it be one present, and one road with non recorded actions. Then you will see the road be open wide. Again.
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I loved the word play. I have attempted it, but have not had such strong results.
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What a wonderful, inspiring write. Having broken the chains fully myself a while back, I can completely understand where you're coming from and I'm so pleased you've managed to do so yourself. This is very well written and certainly makes you think. It's very deep. Great work!
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Amazing! I truly enjoyed this. It really made me think about things. Wonderful work!
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I could see a strong voice emerging, but after the emergence couldn't hear it loud enough. I mean you lost me after first stanza, and you have said it all till then what you said later...Can you whittle it down to make it an even more hardhitting read...which would look confessional, and powerful!
D -
You are the master of your pen! Very well written and thought provoking as well. I'm glad this won a contest for you you definately deserved it with this one. Superbly done keep the ink flowing my dear.
~val~
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I feel you mastered this piece, I hope you know what I mean by that. But I think its amazing, and well thought out. Keep on writing.
Blessed be,
Lefay -
kickass
this really inspired me to finally let go of MY past as well. there are so many things that people constantly think about and wonder what if those things were undone and i'm always wondering how that would affect me and as i am now but this poem made me realize that those things cannot be taken back and dwelling on the past only hurts my future... awesome, awesome job. -
I like the way you express your struggle with the past in this piece, and I relate because I know how hard it is to deal with regrets. Well done
Edited on Aug 06, 8:37 p.m. because ''. -
excellent writing
You have done a beautiful job on this one. I really admire your honesty and the depth of your emotions. I know someone who could really benifit from reading this and I am going to send it to him. Keep up the beautiful writing.
etherealforu -
A very interesting piece about pain and forgiveness. Self-forgiving is the most important to know.
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This is so beautiful and inspiring, I love it and I'm glad that your chains were finally broken. Excellent write!
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wow i too know what you mean but never could i express it as such the words youve chosen...simply remarkable..to this day i find myself wandering my past..i try not to but it is such a hard thing to do..but im glad your free of the "then" and your concentrating on your "now"
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Hey, this was an amazing poem! I can tell that you put a lot of work into this. I loved how the same italicized words fit into every stanza, that was so cool! I have never seen a poem like this before, so I am just amazed with this one! The flow was so good as well. I really enjoyed reading it! Awesome job!
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wow... a truley amazing poem... wow.. im speechless!! Keep up the AMAZING poetry!!
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This is quite the well written trip into the life of a poet. Quite well done and beautiful.
Bestest wishes and all that other mushy, gushy stuff
~Meli~
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you wrote out your life in a way that makes us all feel like we lived in it. im glad you broke through and you have peace with yourself now. good luck to you in your future writes and congrats on the gold!
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WOW
Ha...WOW... speechless. Well written poem. Your very talented.
Everyones got chains to break and you've expressed it well.
Keep up the good work!
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I feel you did an awesome job in writing this poem about your past and the life you still have to live,not all of out here have the gut's to do that,so wow yes this poem is great
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this is a nice deep write that exposes the poet in true form you did quite well with this sestina
love and light
blaze -
this was an amazing poem, it really made me think and you put a good point across. you could set a really good examle to others, if they can see that breaking free can be done, they might give it a go. a very deep and meaningfull poem that was definatly worth all the hours you put into it.
keep it up,
luv sophie.xx -
Brilliantly written with an extremely keen sense for structure and layout. I really enjoyed reading this.
' Living in the present
Being completely forgiven
Taking control right now
It will all be forgotten
The chains will come undone
The chains of my past '
Was my favourate part. Even though it's the penultimate stanza it really sums up and brings the poem smoothly to its conclusion.
Keep it up!
Jon
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Great job, great poem. I am so happy that you have broken free of those chains. They still bind some of us, but this poem has helped me greatly. Thanks.
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Thanx for the great comment! The form sestina does call for the repeating of the italicised words, that is why I had them in italics. Thank you for taking the time to read.
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I imagine it w ould have felt like a huge weight just being literally lifted off your shoulders. Someday I hope to break free, but thats another story for another day.
I was wondering why you had italicised certain words, if you were trying to add even more emphasis to the words. For me, the point was made and I think would still have been made just as clearly without the difference in font style.
I'm not sure if it is the form that requires the repetition of the italicised words, but for me it unneccessary. If the form called for it, then I can see why you did that. But if the form does not require that (Never have written a Sestina myself) I think eliminating them could make the piece stronger. Otherwise, if it is the form - I think you should keep it true to the form.
You've done a good job at expressing yourself. You've revealed to your reader that you suffered in the past and eventually you were able to break free. The last stanza was my favorite. Good luck in the contest.
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Hehe, I know, some people have already told me that... I just haven't mustered up enough courage to go edit it. me silly
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Mammy, that was so beautiful and heartening!!! I am so proud of you for overcoming everything in your past!!! You are an amazingly strong lady!
I thought the sestina was beautiful. Those things are HARD!!! There was a real feeling of self-discovery in this, almost as if we were reading your thought process. One thing I noticed is that while the italization of the ending words highlights the fact that it's a sestina, it also kinda distracted me. *ducks flying objects* Yes, I do think the poem would be better without the italics... *jumps out of the way of an airborne chair*
This was a lovely write, Mammy, and I'm glad it received the recognition it deserved!!! 
s x infinity cubed
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I think you did an incredible job with this write. Isn't it so true how we ponder on the past and how it interlocks with our present. Recovering - relieving - and forgiving is a long battle but one worth taking. Great job and Good luck!
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This is an excellent poem- very complex format, i enjoyed reading it. Glad to see that you have broken the chains; all the best in life.
myno -
Thanx for the comment! I didn't know that sestinas required specific meter. In the contest that I first tried them, the meter wasn't included in the instructions. And the italicising, I chose to do that so as other people could take reference from it. Thanx for all your suggestions though, it was very nice of you to look at my poem in such depth.
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Very good message in this poem. Very similar in thought to the very over-quoted poem "The Road Not Taken" by Frost. I like your use of the double meaning of "present."
As far as form goes: Sestinas usually use a consistent metre throughout (usually iambic pentameter). That doesn't really matter so far as this contest is concerned, since I was looking (in part) for variations. However, it might be better to have more consistent line-length within the stanzas. I really liked the next to last stanza that was all shorter lines,for example, whereas the other stanzas were a little uneven. Also, you don't really need to italicize the repeated words -- it's a little distracting. Very good write! -
interesting type you used... i dont think ive seen this version of poem before, and i think i like it... awesome write as well, very well penned... thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest!
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very deep poem Laura, beautifully and intelligently written, its the sort of poem i could see published in a book of professional poetry. forgiveness is a good thing, it helps you move on, but its hard to forget things, and we are often reminded of that which we seek to forget by everyday things. your past makes you what you are today, and perhaps to forget pieces of our past is to take away facets of our present selves, im not sure. but good and bad, those things have helped to make you the nice person you are today. great poem Laura, i really like it
sev -
Very cleaver poem! Love how you took the time to end each stanza with the same words but in different places. Love the ending the most of all. You are a very talented poet and I am thankful for you entering this very excellent poem!!! Thank you for your entry and good luck!!!
~C.J.~ -
Good luck with this gem.I found this well written and so honest.The act of forgivness is a healing act indeed.
When that forgivness is directed inward then the present lives with a full range of possibilities.And the future shines brightly, with the chains broken.
Peace,Rob -
Well, it certainly sounds like you have gotten the victory on this. Great ending, very positive! Good luck in the contest!
Edited on Mar 16, 5:06 p.m. because ''.
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