Beautiful one, from the land down under
Please satisfy this unquenchable thirst
Your name alone evokes such wonder
Beautiful one, from the land down under
I’ll drink your passion and ride the thunder
Savoring your taste; you'll always come first
Beautiful one, from the land down under
Please satisfy this unquenchable thirst
Author notes
This is written in the Triolet form.
*Velvet Crocodile* is the drink I chose. I saw the name of this drink and immediately thought of Fluttaby, knowing that she is from Australia, hence the “down under” part of this.
Ingredients:
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Grapefruit Juice
1 oz. Cranberry Juice
This was written for the contest: allpoetry.com/Contest/1098848
Written March 7th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Women, Wheels and Wine (CONTEST) by Touchof1der.
350 points, ended March 23, 2005, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Excellent!
LOL! Truly intoxicating!! This one's a delight to the eyes and makes the mouth smile too..lol. A double delight if you may like that
The triolet form has been followed to perfection here with the wonderful meter, rhyme and all. I love the fact that you added a recipe down under(pun intended!!!) 
My favorite line in this triolet is "I'll drink your passion and ride the thunder".
Do come check out my recipes at www.recipezaar.com
Best always,
Charishma
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Beauty runs all thru this piece. I hope you had fun writing it cause it was fun reading it. Thank you for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles
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It's nice to see that you were diverse in your entries in terms of form. Great job on the triolet and it has a nice smooth flow with a hint of sensuality. Nicely done yet again.
~jan -
This is so melodic! I love the rhythm and the repeated rhyme. Such a peaceful sense of intoxication is released in you words. I simply love this poem, and I see that our gorgeous wench Fluttaby does too. Great job! The best to you in the challenge.
Renee ♥ -
You have such a delightful way of creating real poetry my friend. Your words go down just as smooth and wonderful as I am sure this delicious and delightful drink does. Good luck in the contest!
♥ Kimberly -
good job
Don't know beans about triolets, but I know what I like, and I like this.
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God I am gonna be a drunk for sure after we are done with this ha ha We need to make a book for all these drinks. It surely would sell at least for us . I loved the theme music I heard in this John. Your such a Sweetheart.. Lots of Love, Catressa
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Blushes o00o0o0o0o Thank you
I'm all chuffed and stuff now. I loved it, it flowed really well and I loved the repetitive use of "land down under"
Thank you honey and 
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A triolet is a form I'll leave to the experts. I'll never try it as I don't like repeating lines, unless of course, it's a pattern or otherwise a song
However, you have done well expressing your surreptitious desires 
I have to admit, you've got a lot of talent indeed. I have a feeling you might be tied with someone when judging time comes The Butterfly will have you captivated with one look and that everlasting perfume of hers. Well done!
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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Did I see a double meaning in one of the lines or is that just my Scorpio mind? good work!
Tecohe -
This is another wonderfully tasteful poem. You have penned two very awesome pieces Sweet Cheeks. You sure are going to make it hard on us girls judging Good job.
Smoochie -
She's a beauty ain't she. She is gonna snap you up and make you beg to be swallowed. How yummy. She'll have you drunk on the smell alone. A very nice tribute to a beautiful butterfly.
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nice write
WoW my dear John. This was just so great! Nice lil spunk here, i see. And you know what...I'm gonna go out and buy these ingredents to fix one of these drinks... Great job!
XOXO
~laura -
Yeah... we know what provoked you with the thought of DOWN UNDER... buds. You were thinking about a trek through the out back... indeed...through the BUSH.
LOL You got me thinking... wouldn't it be grand to have a drink named Velvet Cock-a-do or some such? When I saw the name of your poem I thought you might have made a typo and it was supposed to be Velvet Crotch So... would a Velvet Croc be considered a smooth snapper? Hahahahaha... you fellas are just too much fun once you get wound up. Lovely offering John -
Such a pretty piece that floats through the lips like the wings of a butterfly...How befitting of a fine young lady as Shari.
Tory Lin
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