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MY Poems Are Too Long, Eh???

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“This is good but it’s waaay too long”.
That’s what folks are always telling me.
Sorry, but I won’t shorten my poetry
for people who suffer from A.D.D.

This culture has its head up its arse
from eating way too much fast food.
It takes more than three damn lines
to tell a good story or create a mood.

If you think my poems should be shorter,
if you think writing long poems is that bad,
go read anything that Walt Whitman wrote
or better yet, read Homer’s “The Iliad”!

By your logic, Tennyson, Byron and Frost
were boring, long-winded sons of bitches!
So excuse me for writing until I’m done
but I scratch until it no longer itches!!!

Who says poems have to be a certain length?
Some of the greatest poems ever were long.
I'll bet readers in the old days didn't complain
or think that writing epic poetry was wrong.

So the answer is no, I will NOT make them shorter.
You should have more patience.  Brother, you need it!
To prove it, here’s a link to Whitman’s “Song of Myself”.
I bet you don't even have enough patience to read it! 


http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s_z/whitman/song.htm


Author notes

Just a little tongue-in-cheek humor. I don't mean to offend anyone so please don't rip me a new one. (But I'm serious - I'll never shorten my poems, ever, not in a million years, so stop asking.) haha

Mark
Written March 5th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 46 of 46
  • DestinyFate
    September 18, 2007

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    If I see anything under 20 lines I probally would come back to after all the others were read and heard through. You keep on writing .

  • individuality gold member
    June 26, 2006
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    i have read whitman loads of times, and many others with long poems. a good piece here. yeah, i have some poems which are quite epic in proportions and then i do some which are sonnet length or shorter sometimes 12 10 etc and i keep getting good poem though a little short or this was way too long, it does my braincell in spill poetic ink and twist me, turn me into the wild lemony crazy shape of unfathomable love...
  • amateurpoetess
    September 19, 2005
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    Mark,
    Read your poem (going to check my comments to be certain, I never said 'This is waaaaaaaaaaay too long'). Finished only the first 7 pages of Whitman's Poem. Parking teeth in ridge of tongue. I'll bookmark and return.
    In the meantime, your poem was very tongue in cheek, good to see a healthy sense of humor. No ADD here, but man Whitman's write is....... well you get the message, lol.
    ap
    Afterthought here: This is called a 'spoof' right?

  • maryannde gold member
    September 14, 2005
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    Ive been longwinded myself with poetry, especially story poetry. But since I write poetry for myself, and only post here for the convenience of having my own little web site, LOL, I am not going to worry if someone finishes it, or comments on it.

    This was not only a great piece of poetry, it also gave me a smile. Not a bad day if you ask me. ~smile~

    Mary Ann

  • josh-13
    September 6, 2005
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    This was straight up comedy, I loved it and I agree, LOL Too many people have a.d.d. I blame T.V. and the newer music now adays. I love it, It might have been too long for a ridlin child, lol, Awesome job, awesome job.

  • SeptemberFaith
    July 19, 2005
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    I read the song just because you said I wouldnt

    I liked this part:

    "So excuse me for writing until I’m done
    but I scratch until it no longer itches!!!"

    I am a fan of commas, so naturally, I write more than others would I say, write to your hearts content

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    May 5, 2005
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    Hey Lena,

    I didn't expect anyone to read the Whitman poem. I only posted it to prove my point that poetry doesn't have to be short. Just being my obnoxious self, in other words. haha

    Glad I could give you a laugh. Nice to hear from you!

    Mark

  • PurpleSky
    May 5, 2005
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    ummm ok you got me I don't suffer from ADD but I must be a son of a bitch cause umm I dind't read that long long song ha ha but the part you wrote before that was kick ass!! made me laugh and ya me needed a laugh so umm thank ya
    Lena

  • natasharv
    May 3, 2005
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    excellent

    Excellent write and great point... didn't make it through Whitman though... I have somewhere to be, papers to write, finals to study for, and more importantly... 800 hundred other "guilt-free" forms of procrastination to utilize.. :-). But I have to say... I'm surprised you have received criticism for lengthy writing... everything I have ever read by you has been flawless--I'm happy to hear (read?) that you're stubborn. :-). Later.

  • Njc
    April 27, 2005
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    Yeah.....didn't read it. LOL I read your part, then started scrolling. Whoo-eee! That sucker could write. I'll have to attack that thing like you'd eat an elephant...one bite at a time. lol
  • tamralynn2004
    April 26, 2005
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    Until yesterday, I don't think that I have ever read any of your work. I find that very surprising. Have you been hiding your talent or have you been under my nose this whole time? I love this poem. The purpose of this site is to read and write. If people aren't willing to read your work, they should move on. By the way, thank you for commenting on my work.

  • SuZyCuE
    April 25, 2005
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    LOL Yep thats long, but hey if you are able to grab and keep the readers attetion who cares how long it is, if its just long and boring just scroll and move on, luckily so far I have never seen a boring poem from the ones of yours I have read, so keep writing them long or short lol PS I did scroll right past the song lmao
    Edited on Apr 25, 12:00 because ''.

  • AgeofAquarius
    April 24, 2005
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    Excellent !!! Write ON

    I don't think I can say anything taht has'nt already been said except I love the way you lay it on line...

    This culture has its head up its arse
    from eating way too much fast food.

    This is so true in any medium today versus 10,20 or even 50 years ago. In film study classes YEARS ago the whole industry has shifted immensely from "Daddy Longleggs" which won accademy accolades to more recent winners that have to be whittled to meet the 2 hr. criteria because the general audience gets bored and loses interest. Why? Because we are used to watching a war ( thanx to CNN) on the other side of the world in two days or less, after that public attention wanders. Hotel Rwanda stirred a weak response to taking action in anyones life even though Dan Cheedle made the appeal in the prologue probably because it did'nt have enough grafic ACTION!!.
    Attention span is like listening to loud music too long, once the tiny cilia in your coclea lay down from the decibels they are NEVER going to stand up again as they were before.

    So I guess all I really want to add is WRITE ON RICK!!!

    I appreciate the veiwpoints expressed in comments, but honestly thats ALL they are to me. They are YOUR'E veiw, not MINE if anyone can't share the vision of what is being portrayed than I'm sorry...NOT MY PROBLEM !!!

    The suggestions I take as just that, under consideration as to what MY vision was when it spoke to ME. It did'nt speak to you or you would be writing the damn words yourself rather than spending the typing time commenting... I appreciate it when it speaks to someone else and they are motivated enough to type their response ..

    THANK YOU Sincerely, from the depths of my heart and the typos and edits that I miss are appreciated too. ;o)

    But if my vision seems too wanting or crass...
    Then get why not get your own and kiss my ###

  • PlayfulPassion gold member
    April 24, 2005
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    Dear Mark,
    If any such person comments that your reads are too long. I would not put much thought on their comments. You know what you are able to create at the whip of your pen. Talent & depth! I must say though I loved your thoughts and the creative terms you have implied here with the fast food revelations because to me there is nothing like a solid home cooked meal! Fast food is convenient yet not nourishing for our bodies. Yes I do visit those places and enjoy them sometimes. Though to live that lifestyle all the time is not something I would want to indulge in constantly. There's nothing like going to a 5 star restaurant to get your three course meal with the exceptional company to share it with. Now where's the dessert?
  • Ellmist
    April 19, 2005
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    Ha, well said Dont write for the people who like to bitch because your poetry isnt convinient for them, write it because thats what YOU feel and what YOU think is desirable to yourself

    ~Ellmist~

  • Isi
    April 9, 2005
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    Too long eh? There's no such thing
    But try writing at Norwegian sites where your poem will be called "too repetative" if it's a pantuom or vilanelle, "too short" if it's a haiku or senryu "too much rhyme" if it's a sonnet or Qasida and so on...they're completely ignorant of form *banging head against the wall in frustration*

    And the few people who think they understand what haiku is, explain it as "a short poem of three lines syllable structure 5-7-5"

    Form, rhymes and rythm are near banned on Norwegian sites...

    And finally; never compromise your work, 'cause it rocks!
  • GoneWithTheSin
    April 8, 2005
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    hi.. well i havent read any of your other poems yet.. (this is my first one of yours that ive read..) but like the way that YOU write. dont ever let anyone else change your mind about what you like.. good to know that there are people who like to stick up for they way they write, and to everyone else who complains, screw em. it doesnt matter... well to tell the truth im sorry to say that i did not sit here and read all "song of myself" but whatever, im not the one whos complaining. great job, good to hear you stand up to the bs. hope to read more from you.

  • illusions
    March 20, 2005
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    this cracked me up! i don't mind long poems as long as they are well written...i know i've written many poems pages long that say nothing. again, you use rhyme well throughout your poetry; i am impressed - yet another thing i struggle with. i really liked this - including Walt Whitman's poem was genius!

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 20, 2005
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    Thanks, Bella. I appreciate your support. I'm not offended when someone says my poems are too long, just mildly annoyed. This was my way of annoying them back. haha

    Thanks again. I hope you're doing well.

    Mark

  • Georgette
    March 20, 2005
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    I remember giving you gold in my contest and loving the poem. I see no problem with long poetry, I prefer it mostly. I can never myself make mine that long, because I'm not that great at carrying on the concept. But you are. Talent and beauty comes from all of your work I've read (although this was on more of the light-hearted side obviously). I hope no one does ever comment on your work again saying it's too long.
    They just don't get it.

    Bella

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    Hey John,

    I agree. I usually have a moment of laziness when faced with a long poem, too, but the one by Whitman above is the kind that really gives the reader a tour of his mind and the world he lived in, a world that becomes more colorful and rich as you read. And the flow is amazing.

    Anyway, thanks for everything you said. It's good to know a writer as talented as you appreciates my point and that you "got my back". lol

    Your pal,

    Mark

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 16, 2005
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    Hey Keena,

    I don't mean to play the victim. I don't get "ripped on" that often. The main criticism is the length of my poems, which I never understand because all the great ones wrote long story-poems. Oh well, as the old song goes - you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself."

    Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it. I'm glad you're in my corner.

    Mark


  • Gendatalia
    March 16, 2005
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    Hahaha! I LOVE the attitude, and you go! I'm rooting for you! long poems, especially if they mesmerise you, are blooming awesome and I reckon you are a very talented writer, so if people say to you that, then they are just pathetic and not very open minded. You stick to being the writer that you are, never change
    take care x x

  • God Makes Miracles
    March 15, 2005
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    Mark I have to say that all of your poems are long and I enjoy them. I do not undertsnad though why people are always ripping on you. I think I know why they are afraid. Afraid of the fact that there is talent on here and someone might get offended because they are not as creative as you are. Keep up the penning you always amaze me with your writes. Thank you for sharing I appreciated this work.

  • J Rhys Davies Greeters member
    March 15, 2005
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    Bravo Mark! I think that first bit is the shortest thing I have EVER read from you. I am shocked, really. But I laughed my butt off reading that, especially that ending line. Luckily I had read that back when I had taken a creative writing class and I thought I would never finish. Then the instructor told me of others that were longer. I almost crapped myself when I heard that. LOL I can bet there will be few that will take the time to read that bad boy and that will be such a flipping shame. Oh well, you do not write for the ADD challenged of the site, you write for yourself. Keep doing that, because you have at least one fan in me that loves the long writes that you pen.

    ~ John

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 14, 2005
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    Dragon,

    The first five stanzas are mine. The rest is Walt Whitman's. I just copied and pasted the entire poem from another website. I posted it to bug people who say my poems are long, and demonstrate that poems aren't necessarily SUPPOSED to be short. I don't know where people get that idea from but I suspect it's part of the "hurry the hell up, I've got a lot to do" attitude that pervades modern society. lol



  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 14, 2005
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    Hey Josh,

    Apparently, a lot of people are thinking I wrote that. Just to clear things up, I wrote the piece of fluff at the top, then it goes into "Song of Myself" by Walt Whitman, which I posted to make a point to people who think MY poems are long! haha

    Thanks for reading it. (Or attempting to. lol) I thank you, and Walt thanks you.

    Mark
  • smallmonk
    March 13, 2005
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    Holy Crap, Dude!!! When you get a wild hair up yer ass, it just grows and grows!! Well, I was going to watch a movie tonight, but i just spent the last two hours reading this poem...hahaha!! Just kidding, I didn't read it at all.....BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I don't care what people say...you're a great poet. With a great voice!! Don't change a thing...but do try a haiku now and then...LOL!!!

    smallmonk

    BTW, I especially liked #13

  • dragonstuff83
    March 13, 2005
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    That must of being one hell of a time typing all of that. I hope you had spell check and about two days. lol!

    Dragon

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 7, 2005
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    Hi Sara,

    This wasn't meant for you. It was meant for those wise acres that are always telling me to shorten my poems. I know you always read my stuff no matter how long-winded it is. haha

    That Whitman poem isn't my favorite. I was just looking for the longest poem I could find to bug the impatient people with.

    Thanks!

    Uncle M

  • Grieving-Willow
    March 7, 2005
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    I love you Uncle Mark, I hope I didn't make you mad? ... I hope all is well, and keep up that wonderful humor of yours I read all of this, but it took me almost 30 minutes to do so ... but i loved really minute and sentence of it ---Sara

  • Night Hope gold member
    March 7, 2005
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    Well, I'm a lazy bastard; I've already read it!!! So, I saved it to my PC, since you were kind enough to go to allllll that trouble to type it, my Friend!!! Oy vey, MarkyL!!! Sheesh...somebody been givin' my Friend a hard ol' time of it, eh??? Pobresito... I am sorry for the provocation, but I love it when ya rant a lil', O Wanderin' Man...hehehe A wondrous penning... ♥ Wanda

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 6, 2005
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    Sharon,

    You'll have just as much talent as you work for. As the old saying goes, "Talent is 90% perspiration, 10% inspiration." You're way too young to use the word "never" anyway. So knock it off! lol (Lecture over.)

    I'm glad this gave you a laugh. It is only directed at the people who tell me my work is too long, as if poems have a length limit. It really chaps my hide. haha I know you aren't one of those people.

    Mark

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 6, 2005
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    Thanks, Reenie. I knew you would understand. I guess the impatience so common to us all is not all our faults - this rushed modern life is at least partially to blame. We've all got to keep contributing to the GNP and keep the big wheel of progress spinning. Whitman had it comparatively easy. He had the luxury to "lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass." lol Most of us don't. Not for long, anyway.

    Take care,

    Mark

  • SharonLynn
    March 6, 2005
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    You never fail to put a smile on my face with your sense of humor. I hope you got through to the numbskulls that think you need to write shorter poems. I love all of your work and you just keep writing okay? I envy you for your ability to write like you do because I know I will never have the talent you do. I do have to say though this is one of the funniest things I have read in a while. I will admit I didn't read all the Whitman because I don't have that much time. I dont' read that fast so I could not get anything else done to day if I read it but great job anyway.
  • Diseased Mind
    March 6, 2005
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    *cough* erm, wow. this something different to say the least. lol, this is very amusing and well written. I'm one of those people with ADD-ish tendencies but I figure if a poem really is good, it doesn't matter how long it is, it will keep my attention with it's amaziness. Sadly, I don't find Whitman's poetry to be amazing and so I skipped that. great point in this poem though (your part that is). good job on this.
  • Dienush Greeters member
    March 6, 2005
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    Wow... I admit your poems are a bit long, but this one was extra extra EXTRA long. Nice though, I see your point. I don't like being limited when writing either.

  • -BlackKnight- silver member
    March 5, 2005
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    I have a short attention span, I'll admit, but once I'm hooked into something, I don't stop reading/writing/whatever 'til it's done. Then again, I'm just plain lazy, and I like to hold a double standard to almost anything, like the rest of society. I just hope nobody says a piece I'm working on at the moment is too long; if they do, then they're idiots in my book lol. Don't worry, I at least read your initial piece, which was pretty funny, and true. Fuck the people that don't like long pieces; half the time the people that comment on something that's long but say it's good haven't actually read it, ya know?

  • queenie
    March 5, 2005
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    no i didn't read the poem,but not because it was long but because i am not a walt whitman fan.i have read phillis wheatley's "some thoughts on the work of providence."that's pretty long and enjoyable.i too find it frustrating when people find so much to complain about in others poetry.i love story poems and a good one has to have some length to it.i have read quite a few of your poems but i can't recall one that was too long.keep being you for you are a very fine author and a truly kind person.

  • Balladeer gold member
    March 5, 2005
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    I'm with you all the way, Mark. It takes time to set a mood to tell a good story. Those who scream it's too long are the types of people who would pick a Whopper over filet mignon. Just keep on doin' what you do best - which you do better than most.

    Besides, when a gal tells you it's too long....you're BLESSED!!!

  • Maureen silver member
    March 5, 2005
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    My husband is a man who loves to talk..I'm sure he could win a talk-a-thon. I, on the other hand, am a woman of few words (someone has to listen). When I have the energy and the time, I enjoy a long story in rhyme. But when I've read so much, I feel I'll go blind, if I can't read your verse, please be so kind as to not label me as one of those folks who has got ADD.

    Maureen

  • heartnsoul
    March 5, 2005
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    superb

    Mark,
    I am laughing so hard I had to stop and to take a break. And wipe the tears from my eyes. Who said your poems are long? I will hunt them down and whip them with a wet noodle!! Tsk, Tsk, Mark, you are so naughty putting those little winks at the "appropriate" places. Actually, I am quite glad that you included Whitmams "Song of Myself". I devoured every word. And all I could think was this could not be written anyother way. You cannot take out one word, one sentence, for to do so, you would lose the value of the work.How could you write about life, and glorify life in a few stanza's? You can't. Ah you can but give a snippet. I also thought while I read, a man who thinks like me. The world is his muse. He knows the earth breathes and can hear the beating of the universe in which it resides. Even at it's ugly moments, life is a wonderous gift. From the beautiful shadow in that resides in the gauze skirt to the ugly thump of the extricated limb falling in the pail. Ah, but my comment is almost as long as his poem or yours. LOL! And however you write, and what ever you write about, it comes onto the paper just as it should. Long or short, they are your words. There is not a soul on this earth that can take that away from you. And Mark, my dear, dear friend, as long as you write those words, I will read them!
    ~Michelle~

  • MariGoes gold member
    March 5, 2005
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    You are so right! What is that with people and the whinning about long poems?! I guess that we can't never please everyone. Sometimes I get that kind of annoying comment on haiku's that I write "it's not long enough". Ah, I just feel like send them (the annoying readers) to that place where the sun doesn't shine.
    Somedays I don't feel or have not much time to read too long poems, but I do bookmark them and read later. I'll be honest, I didn't read all that song, I reached part 7 of it, but hey, it's almost 0:27am here
    I completely understand your frustration Mark.
    By the way, sometimes I go back to that 'the longest poem ever' (the long rant) of yours to see if you have added some more stanzas. I'm happy that you don't cut off a single word of your writes, the may be long, but they are pleasant to read.

    Kisses and love,
    Mari

  • cherche -d -ame gold member
    March 5, 2005
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    I am in stitches here....nooooo , I did not read the entire Whitman write ( I have before though ) , I am just laughing at your sense of humor. Okay , so maybe some writes are a bit long....but the things you write could not be done any other way . And people are too much in a rush , here , in line at the store , on the roads , on their jobs ( hence sloppy work ) sex has become a two minute adventure .....then we run to the gym and rush through the workout , run back home , quickly some fast food...help the kids with their homework...fast because we have to fast forward through a movie...oops I have to hurry and call my girlfriend...did I tell you she is down in the dumps , and her kids are giving her a fit...dang I have to type so fast ...someone is calling my name ..I am working on a poem , and I have to get ready for tomorrow ...but I have also started reading a book...maybe I will skip a few chapters , just will read the beginning and the end It is about this family that lived down south and was very disfunctional , and the daughter was schizophrenic , and the book is so long...like James Mitchner's Chesapeake or War and Peace ...and , and ....ouffffff this is a LOOOOOOOOOONG comment ( tongue in cheek ) ...to be continued
    Take care Mark
    xo
    Reenie
    Edited on Mar 05, 4:21 p.m. because ''.
  • Amanda84
    March 5, 2005
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    That was long.. but go and do what you please no one needs to tell you how to write. Next time ppl complain tell them to take a break from reading and go make a sandwich.
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