Loving You Still (A Villanelle) by DrkPoet at All poetry

As I find myself loving you still
I think about you at least once each day
for my heart's desire only you fulfill.

A beautiful love so perfect and tranquil
those memories my mind continues to replay
as I find myself loving you still.

You were my world my everything until
the heartbreaking moment you went away
for my heart's desire only you fulfill.

Over my heart came a haunting icy chill
but your heart's love I could never betray
as I find myself loving you still.

My heart holds a dozen roses and a single jonquil
just for you as an affection of love I display
for my heart's desire only you fulfill.

I give you this feathery kiss from my quill
hoping your soul feels these words I cannot say
as I find myself loving you still
for my heart's desire only you fulfill.

Author notes

Written January 13th, 2005

In a list

A Rose Is A Rose... • next in list

A contest entry

Loved and Lost by HopelessDreamer2010. 400 points, ended December 12, 2006, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

What did you think

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

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vanyel
November 21, 2006
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wow thats a beatiful poem good luck in this contest
and keep on writtin
from amirah
vanyel
November 18, 2006
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wow thats a beautiful poem i lovedit soo good luck in this wounderful contest
from Amirah
StrangerInThisWorld
February 11, 2006
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Thank You for entering my contest! Your rhyming pattern is great here but your meter is off. From what I understand and have seen a villanelle is supposed to have eight syllables per line. This seems like a desirous yet innocent love which I commend you for.
December 31, 2005
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The rhyming seems a bit forced. But I guess since you had to stick to a particular format, it wasn't easy. Well done!
underground-lover
April 16, 2005
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personally, i adore villanelles. they require atleast a hint of intellect to be able to write something meaningful in the format lol. and this, well, you'v done it. it's a very sweet, tender piece. loved it.
lucky star
April 5, 2005
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great
Brilliant, and what an original style, I loved the way you alternated the interweaving lines in each stanza, Great idea!!! I loved the context of the poem too and it read so easily, with a nice flow!! All in all a great read!!!!
animepoetess
March 31, 2005
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Really great piece...I hate it when that happens...jsut recently happened to me, but I guess I will live...anyhow...very well-written....just one thing I wanted to point out...third stanza, last line, you left out the word "hearts" before "desire"...Just thought I would point it out...Not a true Villanelle if it isn't correct. Great write!

--Animaechick
MysteryCraze
March 31, 2005
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as I find myself loving you still
for my hearts desire only you fulfill
i know the feeling
the loss
the heartbreak
it hurts, doesn't it?
it'll sting for years to come
natari
March 31, 2005
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Good
This had an old fashioned feel to it.Written with flair..Well done and thanks for sharing
Niki1227
March 7, 2005
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Another Breath taking Piece from you I love this one I am goin too book mark it to read it over and over toodles Niki
Dishy
March 6, 2005
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Lovely write and i am sure the feathery kiss tickeled her nose
WatchingThePinkSky
March 5, 2005
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I believe that once you fall in love that special way you can never fall out of love. You should save your love and endure it into your soul. This is a wonderful write. Hope you have great luck in writting even better pieces. You have the potencial my friend. Let your mind glid you through the wonderful journey to self discovery. Good luck to life. HAve a good one.
-Sydney Rain
ecrivain01
March 5, 2005
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not bad
Catherine is right. This is rather clicheish but it is a start. Nobody begins by being Shakespeare. The fact that you had the nerve to tackle a villanelle tells me that you have the nerve to write a good one.
GatheringBlue
March 5, 2005
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check it over again, you missed some commas and apostrophes. Remember that most possesive nouns have apostrophes. I think on all of your heart's desires you missed it. The content was common and not very impressive, but you have a good start for something great.
Still Smiling
March 5, 2005
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very cool i loved it!
unswathed
March 5, 2005
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good
It was quite an emotional piece I liked it. Although, I do agree with Luke. At times this poem felt a little standard, cliche even e.g "You were my world my everything" this is quite a standard line in love poetry. It is a good poem, just needs some revision....hee hee like all of my stuff.
Edited on Mar 05, 11:41 because ''.
CarterTachikawa
March 5, 2005
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Very beautiful, very loving. Not overly sappy like love poems can be. I agree that you should try and read Erin Thomas' columns. He write some great stuff about poetry forms. But pretty good attempt. Keep it up!

~CT
CoolHandLuke
March 5, 2005
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Lovely, I do enjoy a good structured piece. I applaud your efforts, but at times the poem seemed to lose me. I was bored. The rhyming was a bit forced. These are the problems that can occur when writing a villanelle. This one may need more work, just my opinion. Some of my favorite structured poems are Erin Thomas's. He has a high respect for the art and posts great columns on the different structures and forms of poetry.
BattleOfBlood
March 5, 2005
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This was extremely beautiful. The whole form itself came out wonderfully. I loved the last stanza how you said "I give you this feathy kiss from my quill"
That was just amazingly creative. Great poem. Keep on writing, forever and always.
-Lefay