Some
tramp's state
Underlying
sadness. Apathy
inertia built.
Filthy moth
bitten, ridden
wool mits.
Hairy eyeballs.
A crippled
shifting, sigh.
Only dirt.
Toss a half-
hearted coin.
Strife 'n' emp-
athy, orgy of
the gutter.
Author notes
collection of words in seemingly random orientation with no rhyming structure. perhaps you dont like it. i dont know.
Written March 4th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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thanks a lot. valuable comment there.
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Beat, yes! The half hearted coin is poignant commentary on the 'change' offered.....
-darmok -
What did I picture.. hmm.. An old homeless man on the side of the street with dirty clothes and a deep sad look in his eyes. People passing by.. some ignoring his existence, some acknowledging him and some tossing a small amount of money from a distance. I think that's what I picture.
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thankyou veyr much. i hope you dont mind me asking, what exactly did you picture when reading it?
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Perhaps I do like it. Yes, yes I do. It works - and for that I am glad. It's easy to relate to and the imagery is spot on.
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I thought you did a great job creating an image in the minds eye of one not as "fortunate" as others. I think the mind set is very expressive as well. I like the style it is very unique, and this work stands out on it's very own. And hey, you spelt every word properly
J/K I read your home page...
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hey dont know what to think of that comment, but thanks either way. you arent english?>
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wow this wonderful......but it not my taste. but its good.
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'dank'! ha what a word! i suppose so. im not sure what you mean exactly, but i think i see wher your ecoming from. its about a tramp so i imagine it is a little bit dank. yes thankyou. very amsuing comment. betet rthan most.
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I like it.
but it's somewhat...
dank?
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thanks a lot for the comment. it was really very valuable to me.
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great poem.
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What seems coincidence to one person, is a miracle to he who has experienced it. Relating is not difficult when you want to.
This is basically the kind of stuff I would read more often if it were published more often.
chris -
hey. really cool poem... i really liked reading it.. is different from the poems i have read today
keep up the good work and keep the great poems coming
~^~ veo ~^~
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