(when things, not always obvious, are shown in the telling)...
Let's all say, "Awe" for poor homeless Joe,
a seemingly sad fellow with nowhere to go,left his family behind, his downfall his pride,
wrapped in yesterday's news he thinks he's doing just fine...
Lives off other people's pocket change,
takes refuge in stations, can't afford the trains;spends his money on dollar burgers and cheap flat wines,
smokes discarded cigars and rereads the headlines...
The do-gooders in government chase him around,
they’re hot on his trail like sniffing bloodhounds;
they just want to help the poor homeless bozo-if Joe read the news thoroughly, he surely would know...
but not Joe- he’s certifiably paranoid,
avoids society like it was the typhoid,
just a little, tiny bit, overly schizoid-
completely incapable of being gainfully employed.
The Doctors want to give him a few dozen needles,
he dozes in awkward positions, usually fetal
around vacant back alleys and near railway railswearing his news, mixing dumpster cocktails.
In the soup kitchens he's the reigning King-
he’s tops when it comes to homeless babbling;in fashion, he wins with all the best hues-
from the funnys he sports from last Sunday’s news.
He runs from the National Coalition for the Homeless,
he’s too proud to accept that sort of largess;
so he skirts the edge of what we deem worthy of news,
finds some wine, a dark shadow, and a cozy little snooze.
He’d be happy living in a cardboard box
on the side of the road among the cornstalks;but society is flat-out dead set against it-
just like they're against his current events outfit.
So Joe passes small towns, gets lost in big cities
spreading their news, pretending he’s glitzy;just give him some wine, you can keep your pity-
he just wants a little room, and time to be schizy.
Author notes
Now when I was briefly homeless, I knew I could end it at anytime, so mine was a bit different than Homeless Joe in every way except in a certain primal madness...
Written March 3rd, 2005
In a list
- Social Commentary- Some • next in list
- Humor- 2005 • next in list
- Short List- Ever Changing With Time and Moods • next in list
A contest entry
- The Storm of the Brain by x9Nocturnal9x.
300 points, ended March 5, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites, come and get them by Ryno.
638 points, ended November 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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The major reason I like this piece is because it teeter-totters in between humour and dark genres.
One one hand, we have the reality of what it means to be homeless, what they deal with and what their lives are like day-to-day.
But, on the other hand, you have spun funny phrasing and characterization into this piece to give us a laugh.
So, it truly touches on both ends of the spectrum.
I really liked the second last paragraphy. Isn't it weird that this fellow would be just as happy to live in a carboard box as we would be to get a 16 bazillion and some dollar house? Great affect here.
I really liked this write. -
feeling it
~prewrites, come and get them -
This piece does teater on the edge between humor and sadness.And oh yes,even truth in actual lives.A fantastic job of reminding us that the homeless are not all begging to be saved.Just as a great many of us.They wish to be left to their own devises.Funny in a sad way,it takes talent to see both sides of this and write about it so well! ~~Suseann
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Hey, Quill, I was updating 'Homeless Joe' and read your comment posted on March 03- and a very astute comment it is!
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We all know the sad topic of homeless people and you turned it into a humorous piece! For me I'd know it'd be a nice challenge and I'm really happy with what you've come up with! The background you used is absolutely perfect! Thank you so much for entering my contest and sharing this great work with us all!
-Lis
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i really liked it- how it was sad and funny at the same time. very well done.
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I can't figure out if it's funny or sad... it seems humorous, yet at the same time it makes me feel bad for Joe, even though Joe doesn't care. His simple life seems almost alluring... nice write.
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I guess people do find the homeless humerous..One of our president's said we didn't have any..I guess he meant that we are all at home here in the U.S. Because my son has a doctorate in homlessness..I don't find it a subject for humor..I visited San Francisco and saw people taking photos and then selling them..making a prifit out of other's misery.. I think it's a shame really.. someone is smiling at this but because of my son..I weep.. nice that we can delete individual comments isn't it? Your poetic talent is rather good..I just find the subject matter...sad.
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Reply to tdmm- yes, your observation on forced rhyme would have been valid if the poem were not in the humorous catagory, where forced only adds to the humor! I wouldn't recommend forced rhyme in a serious piece! But then this one may not have turned out as humorous as intended!
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This is an extremely funny poem. Cute, I like it. Keep it up!
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Dynamicly Brilliant
Great use of talent "with imagery;" this is brilliantly stunning "on a uniquely creative richter scale theme...”
But honestly, I felt the person writing this is much more likely to be a "45-(or so) adult," than a teenager engrossed in worlds of words, topics, and renown dreams...
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Excellent
That was great! I really enjoyed it! I loved how you described the
character Joe...It was all wonderful! Thanks for sharing! I applaud thee -
this is an awesome poem, cool imagery, and the background and picture really add to the effect. theres a lot of hidden meaning in your words. great job, deserves an applaud in my opinion
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Ha that is great truly amusing and a wonderful piece of poetry to boot. Rock on with your bad self.
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I love this poem. You've maintained a perfect balance between the tragic and the humorous. Very well written, I'm impressed
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I liked the licks of humour you laced through this- well done!
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Very, Very impressive my dear! I love the background you created as well. This is totally a Wayne Biro original. You have really put your immense talent of display and it shows. I love the word choices here as well as the imagery they create. Excellent job. Make room for some more metal mister!
In the meantime, have an overly, exuberant jumpping, clapping guy!
Good luck int the contest! 
♥ Kimberly -
good
very good job on this work of art. i must say that in a way i admire you for writing this. it is too bad that there are homeless people though. -
really great write i really enjoyed it was a view on homeless people and how they live. Thought was a great topic to write about good write keep it ups xXJacquiXx
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see i do feel for real homeless people but not ones who you see in labeled clothes, (nike,adidas etc) and down the pub...
and ones who sit outside the shops begging then go in the shops and buy beer...
but yea, aww poor homeless joe.. i like joe, he could live in my house but my room aint no warmer than the streets. great piece and its nice to read a new topic.
Love SOphie.xx
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Awright, soup time!
Funny, that's exactly how I plan on living my life when I graduate high school! Great work here. Makes me laugh. Wondeful use of language, wonderful use of homelss people. Can't ask for more. -
Wow such a great poem! I loved these lines
"But society is dead set against it
along with his current events outfit."
good luck in the contest and keep up the great work.
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Excellent comment very well done bravo!!
The rapier sword speaks for the mute here... excellet... bravo... kudos for taking your gift to paint the picture in words for those who would have eyes to see ... great lines "The Doctors want to give him needles
he hides in his position fetal
among the back alleys and railway rails
with his news and his dumpster cocktails." take the palate... paint the words... go!! -
poor homeless joe...
i see so many homeless people everyday and i'm so confused as to why they don't go to those homeless shelter-Y things that are all around...then i visited one and they are NOT pretty and almost as bad as the streets...almost
some of the rhymes in this poem seemed a little force-fed...but other than that amazing job...
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i'm sorry i wish you could live with me welll not really cause i have toomany poeple already but great write anyways.
fleabug -
Good content, interesting take, wonderfully chosen words. Man! I expected more from you!
~~~POO~~~ -
interesting
You recognised a social problem and put it to words to share, I like that. I will remember this poem the next time I give out some pocket change or sit warm in my home. Very good. -
Well written. The plight of the homeless is our plight as well, but you capture nicely how society tries to cover it up, or ignore it.
Good job! -
My son is homeless, and suffers from genetic paranoid/schizophrenia..not the drug induced kind; although drugs don't help it, and neither does booze, He calls the F.B.I..it would be funny if it was a Mel Brooks movie and not my son..They have a special branch that deals with meth calls..it happens so often..Our nation is sick. spending dollars on space.. we have space right here... but it's being denied..My govenor is in space but he's coming baaaaaaakkkkkk....lol
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this one was amusing, it couldve been better but it was funny and it got its message across, you did a very nice job
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agreed, in a way. this descibes so many homeless people its not even funn and then you get the people who do not need it that get it. Go figure, Well written keep writitng
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I like the idea of this poem. I think the rhymes are bit forced and choppy. As in the lines:
The Doctors want to give him needles
he hides in his position fetal
I think that just seems very forced. When you are pulling sentences or thoughts into wrangled forms, it just seems like it is forced. It is as if you could not find a great rhyme, so you pulled fetal out of the middle of the line and put it at the end for rhyme's sake. This makes the poem read very choppy. But I did like the idea of it, don't get me wrong.
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