Rest compassionately on my knife,
Fingers gripped tightly on its golden grip,
Palms sweating full of tension,
Once held up into the sky,
Its white beauty -- the white dagger.
I watched as it was engulfed by
A misty black glow, of horror, of evil,
Overthrowing the daggers once beautiful purity.
Slowly I lowed it to my chest,
The point loving the slight caressing of my skin.
Naked I am kneeling in the open air,
On the soft peaceful green grass,
The deep light blue lines the Earth's horizon.
A deceptive horizon as my eyes glance around,
Envision the diluted dead planet, my world.
My only desire, to feel love,
I just need someone to save me,
I am too weak to save myself,
Too poor to help my demented delusions.
Black tears drip down my painted face,
Small streams of ash carve my --
Cheeks now pink from pain
Hatred for myself, I cannot love.
Hatred for myself, and i shall never be loved.
Still crying out for help,
Can anyone hear my cries,
Will anyone care?
Refrained, restrained in my hunger for love
I have come to denounce, detest the world,
My once hopeful image of perfection, of love.
Now disintegrates before my eyes, blood-shocked.
Vanishing into the air, leaving me,
Dead, lying dysfunctionally, alone.
Waiting to be saved, in the name of Love,
But Love is not its name, because that is not what came.
Lost all hope, I cannot trust.
Lost all hope, and I shall never be trusted.
Desolated from my deranged fate,
Slowly push the once beautiful dagger,
Directly into my chest, it is transforming
Watch as it turns black and bloody.
Listen closely to the ringing blade,
It caresses my pallid skin,
Pulling my soul away, taking my heart away,
Push it further in, watch me as I fall,
Tumbling down, plummeting to the genuine ground,
Feel as my heart is truly broken,
Cut by the glass of the fallen images -- images of yesterday.
Death to myself, I cannot kill.
Death to myself, I shall never be killed.
Author notes
--this piece was originally written by myself back in July of last year its called White Oleander. I re-wrote it slightly some word varitation because it fits better with some of the revisions at least i think. Anywho, it was written at like 2 in the morning because i was so depressed and i was crying and i couldnt get anything out of me i wanted to scream and i couldnt. I have a white dagger in my room and this was my way of killing me. I killed me through the poem by getting rid of that feeling i had that night. That is what this poem is about its about death to yourself beause of your loose of love and because you are unloved. That feeling of being alone in pain or trouble becomes unbearable sometimes. Hope you enjoy it.
Written March 3rd, 2005
A contest entry
- Your Best Depressed... by PersuingHappyness.
300 points, ended March 4, 2005, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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omg this poem is amazing. i see what you mean now when you gave me that tip about my poems...when i read this i realize my poems are so...blahhh...but thanks for that tip and i think this poem is really really awesome. great write good job.
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Wow, I did enjoy this, it was so beautifully sad. Everything about this poem was beautiful. For some reason, as I read it, I felt peace, maybe it's because I'm a cutter and suicidal. I could relate to this, with the emotion and feelings of longing to die. I love the ending of this by the way. It was so great I had shivers run up my spine. You are such a talented writer, your work blows me away! Wow, still in shock of how good this is...
Always and Forever,
~Kendal -
Wonderful
This is so very powerful. It really describes depress and what it feels like.
Still crying out for help,
Can anyone hear my cries,
Will anyone care?
These lines really show how a depressed person is feeling. Wondering whether anyone is listening or indeed if they care. Sometimes when a person is depressed they feel all alone like nobody understands. This poem demonstrates several ways of how someone suffering from depression might be feeling.
Tbe way this is written tells a story too. The story behind depression. I love the way you finnished this work too.
Very powerful, wonderful I really loved it.
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