My favourite Umbilical cord

This bath waters murky with cream soap.

            These walls are white tiles. . .

Brightly light by the 150 Watt bulb.

             Don't kid yourself.
                      Its not Sexy.
                          Its not relaxing.

I have nothing to distract.
     
             I'm stuck here to face my Naked Body.
                           To try and remove the Dirt.

I use a scrubbing brush. . .
          . . .The Penned hatred comes off my arm satisfyingly.
                But leaves an ugly red mark.

My Legs. . .
               Soft Pink Chunky,
                               Like mountains peering over the water.

I notice,
          Long,
               Red,
                   Lines
                         Scar across.

I'd forgotten they even existed.

      All of a sudden I'm Lunged out of this bath.
                     All of a sudden I'm 14 again.
                                       Shy again.

     Meeting you again.
            Summer died that day,
    We stood on the train tracks,
                   
           I wore my first pair of baggy trousers.
                     I hid behind blushed cheeks.

     You offered me a cookie anyway,
                 We talked about our favourite bands.
      I was still so shy,
     
              But you offered me friendship anyway.

      I don't care what they say, I swear we fell in Love.
                  It was Better then love.
                   Someone understood me.

            No one else could fulfill me.
           
       I was empty without your Voice.

            So i Emptied myself with Scissors.

       Something you had taught me. Remember?

My First 'Teenage' Party,
                  We sat alone in a strangers kitchen.

           I was crying My soul out.
            You found the knife out.

Together we traced Lines of Politically Incorrect salvation,
                        Along my wrists.

and i never forgot it.
      I'll never forget you.

            That winter,
                I'd barely known you,

            They ripped you away from me.
                 They severed this Emotional Umbilical Cord,
             we had tied with our bleeding hands.

      They Hacked it in two.

  I cried for hours. . . They wouldn't even let us say goodbye.


             Its been a year since i heard your voice.
                   Because letters cant talk.
             They can only lie.

I look down my scars. . .
                    I wonder what happened to that 14 year old. .

  . . .Its been a long time.

         I'm lunged back to my Lukewarm bath.

          I plunge my hand into the murky water. . .

    And pull out the plug. . .

             I watch the water swirl away.

I cant catch it. . . I cant stop it. . .

                Its in-slaved to Gravity.
                      Slipping through my Bitten fingers.

. . . .Just like you.