Thinking on
Past events, rising dawn
Simulates the birth of a new soul
I am leaving the past behind, becoming whole
I am reaching out to my new fulfilling goal
Tearing down the evil binding me
I have chosen to see
I am free
Author notes
Written on 1st March 2005 at 01:28 GMT
An Octa-Tri
Also known as 'trois-par-huit': rhyme scheme aab bbc cc, syllable count 3, 6, 9, 12, 12, 9, 6, 3, with the last 3 syllables becoming the title
This is about overcoming, finally, what struggles I have had in the past. This was the first time that I truly realised that I am over what has happened to me. My first optimistic personal poem in a very long time. For once in my life, I have chosen to see that I am free...
In a list
- trophy 3 - bronze • next in list
- written for contests • next in list
- survival stories • next in list
- 1-10 • next in list
- rhyme • next in list
- form: octa-tri • next in list
A contest entry
- Pick Me Up by sweetcountry.
300 points, ended October 19, 2006, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Journey......... by child of grace.
600 points, ended February 20, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Power of Affirmations - Self Suggestions by drifting cloud.
1200 points, ended October 25, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can you cheer me up? by Forgotten Lilith.
406 points, ended November 29, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Great write, thanks so much for entering my contest and good luck
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Love the octa-tri form
This poems looks and sounds nice, and also offers a little bit of wisdom - in that freedom is a choice. Thank you for entering my contest "Can you cheer me up?". Best wishes.
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I like this Octa-Tri form. Nice! Good affirmation thoughts. The past can drag us down. We need to live in the present, the now. Thank you for entering 'The Power of Affirmations' contest.
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though short, this piece is powerful and moving. I relate well to it, for sure.
thanks for entering the contest and sharing something so personal!
I enjoyed reading it!
Cheers,
S -
perfect that is what i did great write i like it short and sweet. thank you for entering and good luck in my contest
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Thank you for sharing a part of you with us,
a delight to read, May the light continue to shine
Tearz -
Great write. Wonderful message. And I am glad you posted the info about the form. Always interesting.
Thanks for sharing and good luck
Autumn -
Thanks for entering my contest and following the rules, good job.Brandy3
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Yeah, it was a surprise to me, after writing about pain for so long. In fact, I didn't know what I was writing about, until after the words appeared on the screen. My subconscious is always trying to tell me something.
Edited on Nov 13, 10:50 because 'left out a letter
'.
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This is a breath of fresh air! You have chosen to see the truth. You are free! Free to experience life any way you choose! This is great. I love it! Thank you for sharing this with us.
TW -
This work really reflects a moment of clarity, which I love! It is short, not so simple, deep and meaningful. This is an interesting form that I have not seen before.
I can see why this work would stand out as a favorite for you. That moment when we realize we are not in bondage, is the moment we start to live the truth of freedom. I congratulate you on a wondrous poem. Even more, I congratulate you for that moment which inspired it. -
This is really inspiring, wow I'm very impressed. I have grown to love this form (Though I do not attempt it
) Thanks for sharing and entering, best of luck in my contest! Keep on writing
&love
~Lana
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wow! beautiful! best of luck in the contest! you deserve to place! great write!
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I liked this because it gives me such a feeling of release! letting go of the past and looking forward! Nice write! Good luck and thanks for entering!
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You express the hope in this piece very clearly and concisely. Your message comes across loud and clear, but it drags slightly with the cliches in it:"the birth of a new soul""becoming whole""evil binding me" The last two lines are great, though, and I like the vision that you share in this.
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very nice. overcoming your old self. something that is often hard for some people, icludig me. thankyou, made me smile, thinking about this all. luck
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THis was really good! Congrats (yay) on an excellent write. I love the rhythm. Good job, keep it up!
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Fantastic! Spiritual, uplifting. Magnificient! Gypsy
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You are in a very powerful place. Good journey. What is behind us is merely shadow, what lyes ahead is only vapers of what will be. This moment it the moment that matter.
Good Journey and Peace -
Best of luck in the contest your poem is awesome,short but got right to the point.verry well written.
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absolutley inspirational... i truly loved it... thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest!!
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Wooo.... this is an amazing poem, well done... its so inspirational and just such a beautifull poem. Well written and youve used some lovely words and phrases. Well done, im glad i read this, keep up the good work.
JESSxx
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This was so well written it was one of those things thats great for the SOUL i really love people that can exprese themselves so freely, great job and i look forward to reading more of you work.
KAtelynn -
"I have chosen to see
I am free"
loved the strong ending
good poem -
this is very pretty, i like it alot, there is that hope there. and i hope you have hope dear. none of should feel like we are the only one. poems like these can be very moving. espeically when they are written by special people.
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Wish I could do all that. Good write
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At the time of writing, I did feel like things were going my way for a change. I felt like I was finally letting go of the past.
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This is quite beautiful with a powerful sense of inspiration...
I am curious though......was this just a write or have you altered your goals so that they are truly fulfilling.......of what you may seek out within your life???????????? Just curious.
Anyway........a well expressed....short and to the point depthful write.........thanks for entering the contest and good luck..........
leance
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This is a fantastic work of art! I find this to be exquisite in its simplicity, and heartwarming in its truth. I see you have taken to life without me quite easily. How do you write such beauty? What is your secret? How can you leave me so entranced with your poetic soul?
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powerful
I really like this poem. To me I see that you have taking control of your life and what you want from it. Good job!
Bid thee a farewell. -
wonderfully done! i love the hope in this, a very inspiring poem my favourite line is 'Simulates the birth of a new soul' i dunno why but i really like it
thanks for entering
Shanelle
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