smoke fills the air, rising
and rising
above the fingers of flame-
like hands
that make up the audience.
arms raised, reaching
out to the gods, the idols
they worship, those
in charge of charging
to enter this flame pit
they call Heaven.
each bead of sweat, each
a mystery to the prayer
of musical hope. The hope
of a glance at the idols.
calls and cries, craving
for some saving
from the comfort
of an ordinary life, praying for
a change, praying
for a change,
praying for a change.
a choral "hallelujah" from the crowd
as the horns blared their coming.
guitars announced their entrance,
like an angelic harp ensemble.
lights filled the void of night.
the dead, revived
with the sound,
the lame walked, forced
into dancing, to the possessive beat
of the powerful drums.
more, more,
the idols roared on and on,
until creation itself
was recreated.
then, one by one the believers disappeared.
after the idols have left.
after the prayers were answered.
after new life was breathed into their souls.
until all that was left of heaven
was a muddy, lifeless pit.
Author notes
Written February 28th, 2005
This is my take on a Rock Concert
A contest entry
- Lots 'o' fun and choices! by autopsy report.
300 points, ended March 29, 2005, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rock On. Music Is What Drives Us. by PolkaDot.
600 points, ended October 8, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites welcome.... by Luckintheshadows.
500 points, ended September 10, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: This should've won something by now!! (PIF) by Paloszoo.
525 points, ended September 17, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Does Music Soothe Your Soul? by your angers a gift.
440 points, ended September 30, 2008, 30 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
nicely written!...I love how you make it seem like a cerimony more so than a concert...which is what it is in some ways...very discriptive...I loved it...thank you for entering
-
calls and cries, craving
for some saving
from the comfort
of an ordinary life, praying for
a change, praying
for a change,
praying for a change.
Great use of repetition here! The whole poem oozed with deep imagery and creativity. Well done! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck! -
wow, such darkly beautifull imagery here, this poem is absolutely captivating right from the first line. There's a fantastic cadence to this piece, I can almost here the music in it. Thank you for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
Musical Inspiration
Let me know what your musical inspiration was for this write, its got great imagry and vocab. -
How do you do that?
Good visual. Your words flow...keep up the fine work...you give me hope! Peace - Dragonessia
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