Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Take Me Away

Inside of me I scream,
As I think of you,
My heart will always bleed,
I hope we can meet again soon,
You maybe gone,
But i still always think of you,
When I listen to our song,
I wish I am able to see you,
I'm sorry I treated you bad,
I wish I can tell you,
How much I love you,
Not telling you before,
Makes me feel so bad,
I'm sorry I was a fool,
I wish I can turn back time,
And change how it was,
To what it should have been,
I need to cry,
I need to die,
I want to scream,
Right now I cry,
As I wait to die,
Right now I scream,
As I wait for you to come for me,
Take me away,
I miss you,
I love you.
Take me away.

Author notes

surrender
Written February 27th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • DeathlyAngel
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    I can relate to this but its more like a poem than a song. I really did like it tho.

  • Musafir
    April 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Emotional and with surrender.
    Best wishes and good luck


  • luna-midnight gold member
    November 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    2-3


  • brightXdarkness
    November 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow. This was very emotional and yet I can understand each of the feelings and why you could be feeling that way. I know this was written a while ago. I just wanted to know if you are okay now. No one "needs to die." Oh, and by the way, you wrote "maybe" when it should have been "may be." That was pretty much the only typo I found. You have very good punctuation (which many of the other poems I have looked at for this contest - or in general, don't have). I just hope that you have gotten so much stronger from this situation. That's what I like to think happens anyway with things like these. You grow from them. He/she will always be with you. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!

    Alex


  • xox Juicebox xox
    January 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice work, hun.
    Good luck in my contest!!!


  • a means to an end
    January 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    yea, the people took my comments! lol great job

  • Teague
    January 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful! it was well written and has excellent flow! i enjoyed it because it shows how much someone can love another. I encourage you to write more poems like this You have some real talent

    ~Teague~

  • Turquoise Truth
    January 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I like this one, sad but so true. I love the last three lines, an excellent finish. Claire x

  • rockys8r
    January 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very good. Made me remember how I was before..


  • BoundbutnotBroken
    January 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. It really shows how someone can be heartbroken but still happy that they will see their loved ones again. Well done!


  • Scarlet Ambrosia
    January 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awwww , such a sweet piece ,even though it very sad..
    nicely penned
    Scarlet


  • XfaceXdownX
    March 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    think u
    ~psycho~


  • Reflections Lived
    March 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    another great write! i really like your poetry! keep it up!
    Edited on Mar 18, 2:21 p.m. because ''.


  • XfaceXdownX
    March 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    tinky u

  • Mycalegirl
    March 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    OMG DIS ROCKS BRITBRAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • February 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is an excellent piece, very sad but very emotional. We have all made mistakes and our behavior will not always be the best, but the acts of others as a result of our actions is not "our" fault, they had a choice and made a very bad one. Never blame yourself, we are after all, human, and will fail. We only fail if we repeat the same mistake. Stand tall and proud.

1 - 18 of 18