Amazing,handsome,and pain free
Battling an untreatable disease
Caring more for your Children and Wife
Determined to make sure everything is right
Even though your body was weak
Fighting this battle in a sedated sleep
Giving this disease your biggest blow
Hiding your pain,your fears you did not show
Ignorant people watched over you
Just standing there without a clue
Kisses on each of your cheek
Lingering eyes would sneak a peak
Monitor's of yours would often beep
Nurses would come and raise your oxygen's peak
Operation's they could not perform
Prognosis looked very poor
Question's running through my mind
Reason's why you had to die?
Suddenly you were taken away
That November 1ST day
Unresponsive to anything we do
Vision's we had of you pulling through
Weighing the odds you would have to defeat
X-Ray's would show a progressed disease
You fought your Battle to the very End
Zero chance to live Again............
LOVING MEMORY FATHER AND HUSBAND <3
Author notes
For this poem I used the 24 letters of the alphabet..This piece is very much true ..its about my Loving Father who was battling Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis an untreatable Lung disease..R.I.P 11-01-04
A contest entry
- Prewrites Galore and Nothing More by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want You To Tell Me A Story. by SliptheFlitch.
500 points, ended May 8, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
hello its all ok to me honestly im not out for a trophy or points im just out for peoples honest opnions..on my works....everything i write is true...and i just want a true comment...id like to thank you for takin the time to write me and explain whats going on ...thank you and have a nice day...<3becca
-
hi.listen, im really sorry about that.my friend was supposed to read the final entries because i didnt have time to read them all.I told him he didnt have to comment but it would be good.now, more to the point.if he has not read your poem I would like to say sorry, and that he will no longer help me with judging.You have my most sincere appologies.im really sorry that he did not read your poetry(I'm not sure if he read everyone elses).but I promise that the next contest I make, I will have the time to judge all of the poems on my own and comment on all of them on my own.once again, my most sincere apologies to you.I promise my next contest no one will help me in judging.If you tell me what poem you have entered in my contest, I will be sure to comment and tell you what place you should've got.I will try and notify everyone else about the problem and about what happened if they haven't left for another contest already.I hope you accept my apologies and I assure you that no one will no longer help me in judging.I hope that you enter my newest contest that I will make very soon and I promise I will read everyone's poems in that contest.once again, my deepest and most sincere apologies.I'm sorry about all the things that happened.
Sincerly:
Chad Christensen -
Great
I know the feelings you felt. I know the pains that you endured, and the tears you shed. If I didn't we would not be in this contest together. I am terribly sorry for your loss. Very beautiful poem. Wonderful job, nice flow, and good idea. -
omg. i seriously thought i was about to cry. if i had another applause i would soo give it to you. i love it.
-
Thank you for following the directions. Yours is the first poem I read (so far) that did exactly as they were told. I loved how you used the alphabet as an acrostic, that was vdery creative, and writing about your father made tears want to come out of my eyes as I know it is hard to lose family. Good job.
-
Nice poem. I liked the alphabet thing. It was neat. Good luck.
-
It woulnt let me applaud this I tried twice.. So when you look at those yellow little hands add one for me!!! He he... Angela
-
I LOVED THIS POEM SO MUCH!!!! ITS SO SO SO SO GOOD!!!!! I LOVED IT THE FIRST TIME I READ AND EVERYTIME I READ IT!!!!
SO pretty, so good, your go talented... Keep writing!!! ANGELA <3 -
this poem is so sweet. you've got alot of talent thank you so much for putting this poem in the contest!! good luck
-
A very very sad but beautifully put together write..you are very creative..plus I know acrostic can be very challenging and it went together so well..keep writing you are very good at it ..
-
This is totally amazing and clever in the way you used the alphabet for the beginning of each new line. sorry to hear you lost you dad and he will always be looking down on you watching your every move. Good luck in the contest.
~
Katy ~
-
I almost forgot that every single sentence started with a new letter from the alphabet pattern..this is really well done! Although if someone forgets it's like an acrostic they may not realize how much talent you really do have but it flows so well it's just amazing! I've done the ABC form before and I know it's no picnic in the park lol..The ending summarized the entire piece really well..I'm sorry about your father! Great write and best of luck in this contest
-Lis
-
amazingly beautiful
OMG girl you made me cry cause that goes stragiht to my heart and i had flashbacks whilst reading this its very beatifully done but i dont really get ur title sorry -
Wow, this is REALLY good! At first I read it and I really really liked it, but then I realized you had the alphabet in there. Great job!!
-
I thought that this was an especially touching work. Often, it is 'just something I wrote' that expresses the best what happened or what you feel. Don't discount yourself. I thought that the structure of the poem was very interesting as well, integrated with the name (which is what caught my eye).
I felt a lot of strong emotions when I read this. I think that you did wonderfully on this. May your father rest in peace, and may your mind be at peace. -
Very touching tribute. It is the hardest thing in the world to watch a close loved one die, even moreso from cancer. My step-dad died 23 years ago from luekemia. It still hurts. The pain lessens, but never disapates. Thank you for sharing this.
Just out of curiousity, does this type of poem have a name. I wrote one just like it, eerily titled "The Alphabet Of My Life". That is what caught my eye.
Edited on Feb 28, 9:17 because ''. -
im sorry i dont have any points left so i cant applaud you, otherwise i would, i really loved this poem, it was really beautifully written..even though i dont know you, i know that you really loved you dad, and im extrememly sorry for your loss.
-
OMG,girl I am telling you what,you are going to kill me with these tears that I am crying...chills n tingles...you need all kinds of applauds on this...you are the best ...thats my girl...how did you do it? omg so touching,you go girl...tears falling and I will say,omg again,so sad but so true and ...n/m speechless.....R.I.P.Daddy...love from all your kids...muah...
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
5 old applause
