Five years old
I watch her playing
under the sweet gum tree.
Dappled sunlight
litters her face
as she turns and smiles at me.
Raven hair
Just like her dad
she catches the neighbors cat.
Giggling, spinning,
dreaming, dancing
She dresses it up in her hat.
A handful of flowers
wrapped up in ribbons
She’s a beautiful make-believe bride.
I look out the window
with tears in my eyes
and smile with sorrow and pride.
A humming bird glimmers
from flower to flower
gliding on gossamer wings.
I hear her as clearly
as thunder in springtime
but I can’t place the song that she sings.
I can’t help but watch her
for moments… for hours…
Till I turn and collapse in despair.
She's the child I dreamed of
and prayed for; for years
But I know that she’s not really there.
Patricia Gibson-Williams
February 26, 2005
Author notes
Written February 26th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Out My Window by CarolDesjarlais.
400 points, ended March 6, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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A lovely poem about the child you dream of. She's beautiful and sounds so real to you. I truly love this poem. You should have won the gold. Hugs, Patricia
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Beautiful write...sad and yet so captivating . I do wish you the best of luck in this contest
Reenie
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*wipes tears away* this is so sad..
So lovely, so emotional.. I can't get over how wonderful this is. I love raw emotion, I love to see the writers soul in everything they write, You've done this ten fold. It's so awe-inspiring.. you're hushed by the words you've written.. so somber, so sad.. so beautiful! Good luck! -
beautiful
Oh My....this is so so so beautiful, the end riped my heart out. very powerfullwritten! I absoulutly loved every line of this amazing poem! beuatiful, simply beautiful!!! -
This is a very beautiful poem you wrote. I absolutely loved it. I enjoyed reading this very much and I hope to hear more from you soon.
Edited on Feb 27 because ''. -
wow..... this is amazing. Beautifully written, beautiful imagery... overall a beautifully constructed work!!! I love how it starts out with a sort of light-hearted air, (It even put a smile on my face... nothing has done that for me in a long time... I forgot what it felt like!) but at the end of the poem the mood changes as you realize that this sweet little girl that lit up your face just moments before, is only an illusion.
Great job, Amazing use of imagery.
I love it.
Keep it up,
Evilia -
Great read
Wow. This is really very good! I've dreamt of having such a daughter. She'll be as perfect as my girlfriend is. And this makes sense since I'm marrying my girlfriend. Yes, it seems like psycho-babble at my age of 14, but I don't care. This is my dream, to have a wife like my girlfriend and a daughter coincidentally like Her and the girl you painted a picture of here. Good job! -
Bravo!!
Sweet and beautiful! An awsome write! I love how you use your metaphors.
"Dappled sunlight
litters her face
I love this line. What a refreshing way to portray this! Your imsagery is fantastic, and fills the mind of the reader with wonderous pictures. It flows easily making it a pleasure to read. Outstanding!! -
GREAT POEM
AAWWWWWWWWWWW this is so lovely, i love it, a really great poem here, well written and keep on writing.
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This is beautiful... so very heartfelt. Children are such blessings...
Lovely work, enjoyed this very much... nice picture too!
~ Wendy
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keep up the good work no sorry not good, excellent!!!
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wow this is a really deep poem! I dont know how old you are but im pretty sure that you are or want to be a mother! or at least that is what i got from the poem! Either way you did a really great job at it! I love the picture too it goes perfectly with the poem! Great job! Keep it up!
~Me -
OH MY GOD , it sent shivers down my spine ! so touching and deep ending ! its SOOO beautiful very beautiful indeed , im aout of my free applauses ill present one tommrow this is just GREAT!
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Beautifully written creating a tender atmosphere, and giving birth to heartfelt joy, such a delightful write, very deep and full of feeling.
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Evocative!
I read your poem slowly and took in every stanza as it became more and more impacting.
Stanza four: "A humming bird glimmers
from flower to flower
gliding on gossamer wings
I hear her as clearly
as thunder in springtime
But I can’t place the song that she sings..." is such a beautiful image and the way you compared its song is so beautiful. It set me up for a huge knock on my heart by the last stanza.
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This piece touched me on a level that I don't care to elaborate on. 'nuff said...
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