silent stone waters
wimpled light reflections
golden flashes of fin
Author notes
Written February 24th, 2005
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
hahaha this was intriguing...and the write was even better haha! i expected an explanation of a haiku..what i got was a natural, beautiful picture..
well done
-
all is well
1. A cloth wound around the head, framing the face, and drawn into folds beneath the chin, worn by women in medieval times and as part of the habit of certain orders of nuns.
2.
a. A fold or pleat in cloth.
b. A ripple, as on the surface of water.
c. A curve or bend.
1. To cover with or dress in a wimple.
2. To cause to form folds, pleats, or ripples.
[Middle English wimpel, from Old English
Well done sir, I would like to see more of your haiku.A good image.
SirPort
-
This is a first...I am guessing that you don't use this form often?? I still like it because the image is so clear I can touch it.....the only thing is it made me sad because the "gold fin" reminds me of a goldfish I killed on accident.....LOL!
KAY
........that is probably why I own cats now..... -
Good choices of words and the thought is freezing. I like this haiku. I am a big fan of haikus. Thanks for sharing.
-
That was a little short but hey its super good i liek the way you phrased it
-
This is such a lovely...picture your words paint.
-
I love reading haiku's, but would never attempt to write one; although most of mine are pretty short none are haiku I cannot control (not the right word, but the best I can think of right now.) my mind that well. Thanks for posting this--it is wonderful.
Damon D. Brewer
Edited on Mar 17, 7:53 p.m. because ''. -
another awesome piece of work ! i love love love it !!!!
-
Hi Erin,
The third line beautifully conveys a sense of revelation to me. (Realization, as you put it.) Overall, I like the haiku in its entirety. However, 'silent stone waters' was not easy for me to conceive, since the mention of stone and water brought to mind ripples and sound, whereas the haiku seems to suggest silence. It might have been intended to refer to silent observation...
All in all, I like the haiku a lot, and am impressed by how close it goes to capturing the essence of the wonderful form!
Best wishes
Saurabh.
Edited on Mar 06 because ''. -
fabulous haiku
This is an intriguing write since I'm not familiar with the word wimples and will have to go look it up. Anyway, it's a fabulous haiku.
-
hehehe.... i knew it was haiku... cleverly made!!!
thanks for sharing it with us!!
More power!!
-dycz -
i know its part of the nature of a haiku but i felt like i was missing somthing
whats fin supposed to mean at the end -
I enjoyed the convoluted thought patterns your Haiku takes the reader through. The meditation line can bring deep thought or just a quick image in the mind. The reflection line can be the actual reflection of the water, or the reader reflecting on the objects he views or those image flashes. The realization line may be a resignation of the reader that there is no more to the scene than just what he sees and NOT what his mind's eye can conjur.
Best Wishes,
Wally
Edited on Feb 25, 1:07 because ''. -
i've seen "lanturnes" in the featured box periodically, but haven't clicked on any of them. looks like they're what you could think of as half a Crapseyan cinquain. this must be where Adelaide Crapsey got her idea for her particular rendition of the cinquain, but number of syllables for each line multiplied by two.
-
I guess I would have to mediate rather reflectively before I realize what Haiku is. Maybe my Lanturne will shed some light...
fish
freely
flashing fins
appearing quite
Koi
Cheers,
Del -
nadir:
would you believe this came to me as i was critiquing someone's haiku here? i used this poem (an earlier revision) to demonstrate what haiku is.
so what is haiku?
*hint*
silent stone waters (meditation)
wimpled light reflections (reflection)
golden flashes of fin (realization)
think japanese garden pond. -
beautiful. i commend you for being so descriptive in such a few words. writing haikus is a gift, and you definitely have it. this inspires imagination,...great job. +
-
Quite an interesting Haiku Erin.
In the first line you suggest the water is dead still like a "stone". Then you contradict that by saying it is providing "whimpled" (rippled) reflections. Leaves the reader in deep thought as to weather the "flashes" of fin are caused by the fin's movement or the whimples. Very cleverly constructed.
Cheers,
Del -
Ah, that is why! I thought but didn't dare to guess
I don't know what you had in mind while writing this haiku, but I see a fish jumping over a stone. A small fish reflecting the sun on it's fin, tail or any other part of it's body
Well done Erin!
Kisses,
Mari
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
4 old applause
