A NEW OUTLOOK ON LOVE
Love walks softly
In the dark, starless night –
Alone, and fearful,
Because no one
Believes in love
Anymore.
Love is too altruistic
For this material world
We live in.
We talk in euphemisms,
And confuse sex
With love.
But love is lost –
Alone in the dark,
With gods that
No one believes in
Anymore.
It adds a whole
New dimension
To the term
“Lost Love”.
POETRY PEDDLER, Volume 5, issue 2, February, 1993
Author notes
A prewrite, but I think it fits your criteria.
La tristesse ne peut jamais définir l'amour, même quand c'est la fin définitive.
Written May 11th, 1992
A contest entry
- ~Through With Love~ by Still Standing.
1500 points, ended February 24, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want depressing love poetry! by xxvampyregirlxx.
1000 points, ends December 12, 149 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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very good!!
Now this is a unique way of thinking about love, from loves point of view. Here we are always abusing and confusing love for something else and love sits there alone taking the blame. Wow deep! I like the beginning:
Love walks softlyIn the dark, starless night –Alone, and fearful,Because no one Believes in loveAnymore.
Good job thanks for the entry and good luck! -
Love is hard to define because it has so many sides, from the pain it evokes to the happiness it brings. It's kinda bipolar. you described love at its best and at its worst here. Wonderful job.
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nice write, I enjoyed it... good flow
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Thanks. ;)
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Well isn't that the truth. I don't think there will ever be a lack of people willing to believe in love, just few willing to commit and trust in it. I liked the double meaning in the end but I'd suggest swtiching up the last two stanzas with a bit of tweaking. I think the third is stronger and if worded properly would be a perfect way to leave this one. Thanks for the entry, take care and God bless.
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Technically, if we confuse sex with love then we still believe in love. We just don't know what it is we truly believe in. This was very different and I think it fits the contest parameters well. You have one small typo in S3L3: you want "gods" lowercase. Good luck!
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I really like this poem alot, I think its message is very true, and I think it is very beautiful. Great Job
Kelli
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Comment très vrai. Ma propre idée d'amour est radicalement différente maintenant, copared à comment il était quand j'avais 15 ans. Il est triste que le désire et le sexe soient troublés avec l'amour.
Je l'ai aimé très beaucoup. Merci pour l'entrant.
Ali x -
Very vivid, thought provoking love poem which you have penned so well. I have found in life that if I don't love....then I can't hurt and that works for me!!
TD -
Your opening stanza just grabbed me and pulled me into this poem. A very unique perspective and view on love, or lost love. I really like this, excellent write!
~ Wendy
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I used to wrap love around me like a blanket, now I carry it inside me like a knife. I have nothing to say about love. The poem is good, though. dangling "anymore" on it's own line is almost guarenteed to be effective, and the parallel to old gods is good. The last stanza came a little close to the line around the old "show don't tell" adage for me; I would have been satisfied with the trailing end of the preceding stanza. However, you bring in a balance and reaffirmation (frail, so frail) by including it.
Well done,
Brian
Edited on Feb 27, 1:14 p.m. because ''. -
how very true.
This eminates the beauty of love,mixed with just a tad bit of sadness, and 'lost' feelings,as for me...I am a little cynical nowadays, but so enjoyed this piece~jag -
True, everyone has their own opinion about love. My opinion has become slighty jaded. The love I had, well it was a slight lie, was love in the beginning, turned to loathesomeness. Love today isn't like the love of days gone by. Not to me anyways. I have a cynical view of love these days although, I think if I could find the one person I am searching for, the love would be complete. As real as love could ever be. I liked how you wrote this. I love how you ended it. Great write. Be Well and Be Blessed. Since you visited my poem, I thought it only right to visit you in return and I'm glad I did. I like what I see.
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i think this is a wonderful piece
lust and love
where's the line?
i like you am tired or would dig deeper as well
night
ash♥ -
very nicely written..I like you last lines very much..you did great with this piece..keep writing
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Wistful
This is sadly so true.
"Love walks softly
In the dark, starless night –
Alone, and fearful,"
I love this poem, it kinda gushes at you.
Lovely with a tinge of lonesome.
Thankyou for the comment on my poem, it was nice of you to take the time to post a comment.
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I really loved the poem and the meaning of it. The only thing that bothered me a little ( and I am sure it is just a preference of mine , so pay it no heed) = that every line was capitalised , otherwise I think it was one of the better ones I read today
Reenie
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brilliant!
And that outlook is called 'caution', hesitancy to even go far in love give an uncomfortable feel. You add with insights, the thing that most lover do, and thats another one, 'doubt'. A very clever write! -
Good
A very thought provoking piece about love.Much is said of this subject and probably since the begininning of time.I love to read others views on this because everyone has their own ideals and perceptions to what love trully is..A lovely poem..Helen
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Love will always be what it is. But most today focous on the physical and let the soul fade away. As you put it so well;
But love is lost –
Alone in the dark,
With Gods that
No one believes in
Anymore.
When love dies, we all die.
Excellent write. Hits home a little too much.
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Hi, i see where you're coming from so well, it's all invisible social laws, lots or horrible things that make valour and all the good stuff impossible.
Love is passé.
Cool is cool.
However, it still creeps up all the time doesn't it?
Actual proper love, but finding two people in that circumstance...
Meh, the world's gonna melt soon anyway.
This world never did anything but wimper.
But yeah, great poem, gets it across so easily! -
very nice love poem..well expressed in deed...everyone has a differt opion on love yours is well written!
twinzy
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this is a nice poem. I especially liked the lines,
"But love is lost –
Alone in the dark,
With Gods that
No one believes in
Anymore."
Maybe if you expanded on that and ended on a stronger note it would improve the poem. Still, very well expressed. Thanks for the comment on my poem, I don't get many of those.
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This poem speaks the truth in so many ways! Yes people all too often confuse sex with love and until someone has actually experienced true love, it all seems like a nice dream. No one likes to be hurt which is why I think that so often people don't search for the love. I'm going off on a tangent here, hard to explain, basically what I'm trying to say is that you have captured how society tends to treat the idea of love. Even if that doesn't make sense, I will say that it is an excellent poem!
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